Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (3)

Continuing from where we stopped the last time, here is something to think about:

Do you want God to surround you with nice people; especially people of the opposite sex who are married? If yes (but you are currently having affairs with them), why should He keep surrounding you with them when all you'll do is have affairs with them and derive your needs (emotional, financial, physical etc) from them as though they are your God?

The other side of the coin would be to ask yourself if you want to be surrounded by mean and insensitive men since all you do is sleep and entice the nice ones God has sent your way in some forms to make your walk in life more comfortable and easier. This I say not in a way to judge or condemn you, but to make you think quite deeper.

Till your prayers gets answered for a spouse (and even after), keep praying, keep waiting, keep working on you and be careful of the seeds you sow for your future bearing in mind that the law of sowing and reaping is real; just as it is real with planting and harvesting crops in the natural. Galatians 6:7. Be the kind of lady that other women’s husbands are safe with, just like you would love to have ladies around your future husband that he is safe with, and you can feel safe with too.

Conclusively, you might need to ask yourself some questions. Questions like how boring is my life? How lonely am I? How often do I need attention and how desperate am I for it? How often do I need someone to validate me and to what extent will I go to get it?

Finding answers to these questions will tell you what you need to fill your life so fun can be a part of your life (if it’s currently absent), because of a truth, loneliness and boredom as a single lady can expose you to such ideas. You can put your attention on doing the things you love, have friends you go out with per time or perhaps go out by yourself if you can and if it’ll ease the boredom and loneliness you feel in your life. Also, spoil yourself silly with the little you have, especially if gift as a lady is one of your love languages. Pay more attention to yourself care-wise if you have not been. Pamper yourself more and be more considerate, kind and compassionate towards yourself. Whatever rocks your boat and is legal and biblical- do it.

In all, try to know yourself. Knowing yourself will always give you a way out of every temptation, because you’ll know the ‘why’ of the feeling and also most likely- the things to do to get out of the situation. The truth is as humans, most of the time, we have an idea of what to do (or not to do) to get us out of temptations, but we fail to do them because the temptation in question is a bait and it comes interesting. After all, the devil will not tempt you with what you hate. Or will you as a human being try to bait a rat, even a fish, with a stone? No; you will give it what you know will catch its attention. Likewise the devil. Sometimes, temptations are pointers to things we need more strength in; either as a sign of weakness, a missing link or lack of balance in our lives.

Aside knowing yourself; know God and know His Word. Your love for Him, the knowledge and understanding of His Word you have will keep you going. The fact that you know His Word and you do not want to hurt Him would help in moments of weakness. Do all your best to know His will (promises inclusive) for your life and trust His timing. Knowing this will keep you strong and hopeful knowing fully well that a bright future awaits you.

Above all, never fail to remember that God is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that He should repent. He also rewards greatly those who wait for Him patiently and dutifully.

...Till I come your way again, keep loving yourself and keep saying no to the temptation to date married men no matter how much the idea appeals to you. Always remember it’s a bait that leads to death in some kind of ways.
Much love sis.

Photo Credit: PlayerFM

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (2)

In the last article, we talked about checking deeply our hearts to know the probable and exact cause of our feelings since it is evident that every emotion has come to tell us something.

This we can start doing by paying attention to clues; especially those clues tending to draw us closer to him (married man in this case). For instance, you can take a clue of what you want or like in a man by taking note of the things you like in him. Could it be his dressing, composure, articulation, or what? You can take note and pray them into your future husband. Things you like about him should give you a prayer point for your future husband and things you perhaps do not like in him could also be a prayer point too for your future husband. Let seeing him make you more conscious of what is to come for you husband-wise, instead of immoral feelings and private unholy desires.

The truth is that you are going to meet (and work alongside) many married men during the course of your journey in life who will cut across what you want in men, or perhaps what you think you need at a particular moment; would you then date all of them per time? Can God trust you with what you want but isn’t yours? It can be worthy of note to know that growing up means trusting God’s will and timing; and growing up prevents us from being babies in nature. Only babies begin to cry when they see what they want and make sure they get it irrespective of the cost. You are no baby: you are a matured single lady dutifully and patiently waiting (on the Lord) for your worthy prince.

Besides, self-control starts now as a single lady, not necessarily as a married lady. Having a ring does not bring about a new you character wise, it's more of you carrying over the single you into the ‘married you’ phase. A ring does not change your personality, just your social status.

Let God trust you with things you desire, is around you but is not yours. The way you treat that which you desire but is not yours can either open or close doors for you to have yours. (after all he that is faithful in little will be faithful in much, the much being your future husband). Besides, no one is ever too young to start thinking of their tomorrow. If you sow this kind of seed today, should it germinate tomorrow, will you be happy with the end result?

Photo Credit: 1966mag.com

A lady like me: The masterpiece

You’ve never met

A lady like me.

You never should have.

It’s just me in the world

No one else like me

None else would be.

Yes, we all are clay

But when the Creator made me

He locked up

With an everlasting key and in a vault,

The rich remainder,

Of the clay

He used to mold me;

A vault,

Never again

To be opened in human history.

He made just me;

He made just me this way,

So-

You never should have

You never will

Meet a lady

Exactly like me.

I am His walking, living

And breathing

Masterpiece.

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation

We all get tempted at certain points and phases in our lives; even with things we never knew could flash across our minds not to talk of making a home there. How then do we deal with situations when we are tempted?

The truth is we all must learn to pay attention to ourselves to know for sure what our emotion is trying to communicate to us. We shouldn’t be so over-spiritual and carried away. We all are flesh and blood and emotions are real. It’s however left for us if we are paying attention to the inner us to separate the feelings we have into good and bad so we can know the ones to hold on to, and those to trash without a second thought. When emotions (especially the not too good ones trouble our heart), we should always dig deeper to understand the real reason why they are hovering.

As for lusting after a married man, could it be that all the while you’ve not had a kind man around you, and suddenly now when you seem to have one, you’re all over the place wishing he could be yours? Instead of lusting after him and wishing he was all yours, let him be the sign that great and kind men still exist, and use him as a point of contact hope-wise to believe for yours. Or better still, you can pray for him daily. There is something about this kind of prayer that eliminates immoral thoughts. Before you know it, your heart begins to get drawn to his wife with compassion such that you wouldn’t want to hurt her in any way, and also his kids.

As a single lady, you have to be able to work hand in hand with men who are kind and nice (and are married) without wishing they were yours in any way. Appreciate them for the kind people they are and want nothing more than that, knowing fully well that you would become a wife someday and you wouldn’t want someone lusting after your husband, or worse still- pursuing his attention. Besides, not every kind man is meant to be your husband, just like you are not meant to be the wife of every man just because you are beautiful.

While it is true that some married men do not mind having an affair with single ladies, it behooves on us to discipline ourselves never to be a victim, because in the end, it’s a road that often leads to death in some kind of way (emotional death, spiritual death, moral death; even sometimes physical death).

No matter who you are, your belief and spiritual state, always remember that you are not a robot and you do have emotions like all human beings do. You will get tempted in some ways some day and when you do, especially if it’s with a kind, nice married man, do remember that yours is not different in any case as stated in James 1:12-18; and also, 1Corinthians 10:12. Also bear in mind Matthew 26:41 (MSG). Never wish any married man belongs to you no matter how kind and loving he is; he is someone else’ sole ‘property’.

Reference Scripture: 2Corinthians 10:5

Till I come your way again, much love.