I was once with a guy and he told me one thing that struck
my heart. He must have said it casually, perhaps out of his own superficial
observation, but that word hit me, cos to an extent, I understand the
underlying pain and depth to what he saw as casual, as well as cheap.
He
had said- ‘Girls in this school are cheap. Just buy them doughnut and drink and
they are all over you’. Perhaps a tad of what he said may be true, but there
sure was more to what he said.
It’s
no news that ladies love security, no matter the form it comes in. But of all
the securities that comes with what ladies want, the most important one might
not be financial as thought by many. Most likely, it is the mental type- the
state of knowing ‘no matter what, I am loved’. It goes deeper when the love can
be pinned to a soul, say for instance their father or perhaps brother, or
someone else masculine they feel they can trust.
Ladies
that are seen to fall for the ‘doughnut and drink’ actually fell for something-
the fact that someone cares about them in a seemingly thoughtful way.
To you as a guy buying the drink, you are just buying a
drink, but sometimes, ladies see beyond the drink, to an actual act of care.
And this is because most (African) ladies come from mechanical homes. Homes
where things are done mechanically and out of necessity. I.e- things are bought
in the house because the house needs it, and not necessarily because a
particular individual needs it. As a result, what is felt while growing up is a
form of general love, and not necessarily one seen as peculiar and thoughtful. Owing
to this, when ladies come across a guy that do things just because it is them, especially
with no seeming ulterior motive, they feel a bit special and seen.
So, dear
men, the next time you see that lady go all giddy because you got her a gift or
did something tangible for her, don't think she is cheap. Instead, see her as
grateful, especially for the fact that somebody cares that little, or sometimes
much about her. And at that, please kindly know that based on your difference
in age, or perhaps what you represent to her, she sees you as either a brother
figure, or a father figure.
When
you see a lady and all you want is sex, kindly do not deceive her by showing
her affection, especially one borne out of an ulterior motive. Or better still,
kindly make sure you are on the same page- that she wants you for what you want
her for, else, please back off (knowing that the same thing you do to someone
else' daughter, will invariably be done to yours or any cherished female figure
in your life).
And
to the women out there, I know how much you desire to be loved, especially by
that one 'special' being. But till God sends the person to you in a holy way,
never forget how loved you are by the One who formed you, as well - how
cherished you are by Him. I know sometimes it's not easy being seemingly
without love, but then, know that you are covered by the greatest, highest and
purest love that be- Your Creator's love.
Till
I come your way next week, please know that I care. Much love dear sis.
Photo Credit: Google Image
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LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan
Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com
