Loneliness, Singleness, Happiness and And Marriage (Part 2)

Hey peeps! How has your week been?

In the last article, we started a conversation on loneliness, singleness, happiness and marriage. Here is the concluding part:

For the question raised last week regarding loneliness, I have this to say-

If you find yourself constantly lonely and depressed as a single person, you might want to pay attention to the things you focus on because our happiness or lack of it is a function of our focus. You might also want to pay more attention to your environment- are you surrounded by married people, especially those that seems to have it all together on the outside? Or perhaps you are welcoming words from every direction which as a result is producing a lot of pressure on the inside of you- words from mummy, daddy, sisters, all asking as though you have a control over it- “when are we eating the rice?”. You might also want to pay attention to the music you listen to, the people you let into your space (especially if they are negative and pessimistic people) and a whole lot of other things.

You might also want to get busy doing the things you love so it would shift your mind away from the seemingly missing links in your life. Surround yourself with people you know without a shadow of doubt loves you, and people and situations that makes you happy too. You might also want to spend more time with time with God because in His presence, there is fullness of Joy and at His right hand, there are pleasures evermore (Psalms 16:11). When you do, the joy of the Lord would become your strength and help you per time through the waiting period.

Regarding Happiness, this would be my advice:

As a single person, before you get married, make sure you find happiness from the core of you, the truth being that no man no matter who he is, is strong and self-happy enough to give you all the happiness you require in life. If already married and you find yourself constantly unhappy, it is never too late to set your feet on a path of happiness.  How do you find happiness?

Two major things I have realized brings about true happiness - purpose and wholeness. When your feet are set firmly on the path of purpose, you would have little time to be sad. Doesn’t mean that those moments that makes us all human would not come; they’ll come, only they would not last for a long period of time owing to your passion and your ultimate reliance on God through the process.

Passion coupled with the constant presence of God in our lives generates so much force; such force that overwhelms us and keeps us busy and productive majority of the time. In other words, the combination of these two factors (God and passion) drives us towards our goals despite obstacles and challenges (loneliness inclusive) encountered on the way. A God-filled busy and productive mind is no hiding place for the devil, but an idle mind is. As a result, it is advisable to get yourself duly engaged with passionate and worthwhile projects. As you work through the projects, make sure you celebrate your small wins along the way as they boost happiness, and as a matter of fact- confidence.

The second pathway to happiness is wholeness. Wholeness is the process of freeing yourself of wrong ideas and beliefs to enable you function fully, freely and without fear in the area God has called you. Wholeness is the ability to be yourself without any form of fear (especially fear of rejection), and without any form of pressure.

Lasting and true wholeness I’ll say is achieved majorly in three ways

·         Spending time with God

·         Spending ample time with yourself

·    And lastly- acquiring information through constant reading and listening to helpful audios/videos. Hopefully over time, we shall get to talk about wholeness, how to achieve it, and the benefits of having it.

In addition to purpose and wholeness, I would love to chip in this- spend time with your girlfriends, call them, go on outings with them as marriage does not equate prison. Go shopping (either window shopping or actual shopping- if you have the sufficient means and you actually need the things you intend buying) if it would make you happy. Be helpful to people who are in need. More importantly, make kindness a genuine part of you and try your possible best to be cheerful and friendly.

Above all, remember that your marriage would always be a reflection of your state of wholeness as a spouse. A happy spouse would most likely make a happy marriage and vice versa. Always choose to remember that your happiness starts from you and not necessarily what people do/can do for you. Married or single, choose to be the master of your own happiness.

 

.…Till we meet again- do enjoy the remaining days of your week and make sure you do something tangible to make yourself happy this week if you haven’t already.

P.S: If there is any topic you would like me to talk about, I’ll be glad to receive your email, or you could perhaps put it in the comment section below.

Photo Credit: DeviantArt