Lessons Life Has Taught Me So Far

Looking back at the life I lived as a teenager/young adult and seeing how much I held virtually everything so serious, all I can do is ‘feel sorry’ for myself, especially at the life I had unconsciously let slip past me by being that serious. I hardly could remember going for parties or functions (not that I go to parties/functions now, but then, my not going now is by choice, rather than the self-imposed rule it was in some ways at the time). I also can barely remember playing freely like every other teenager; for it was always me placing myself on one deadline or the other- books to read, things to apply for, and so on. But then, do I have a regret of living such life? Maybe no, but maybe I could have done things a little bit different by taking myself a bit less serious a couple of the times. It takes a bit of adulthood to know the difference between putting yourself in a box, and being actually disciplined and focused.

Having spent a few decades on earth, I have come to realize some things I never factored in even as I planned my life to the letter as a teenager. I have come to realize that some situations wouldn’t always be black and white as I’d imagined- some were meant to be grey, because they actually are. I have also come to realize that sometimes, especially as a passionate individual, it’s ok not to know what you are doing; it’s ok to try things out when you are not sure till eventually you find your space.

I’ve also realized that sometimes you lose control of the life you once thought you owned, and at such times when everything either seems to be happening at once, or nothing seems to be moving at all, it’s ok to surrender- to surrender to the One who made you and planned the life you would live in the first place. I have also come to realize, beyond what is being said which sometimes feels like a cliché, that really, the place of surrender is the most beautiful place, it is the very place where everything (buried) blooms.

Being a believer of God and His Words, entering into His rest as admonished in Hebrews 4, and ceasing from my own struggles (especially the struggle of how exactly I want my life to be), I have seen things unfold in ways I couldn’t have imagined if I had not let go. I have had things only God, and never myself could have given. In surrendering to God, especially in my troubled times, I have come to know who He is (on a personal note), as well as experience the things I never could have in my wildest imagination imagined.

No doubt, adulting comes with a lot of lessons, but then, letting go and gracefully choosing to live one day at a time would make sure you not only outlast your bad seasons, but that you also find courage and strength to deal with whatever you have to deal with per time, especially as an adult weaned of childhood fantasies by life, and made to face the reality of it, especially the uncontrollability of it to an extent.

Besides, reading Michelle’s book (Becoming), has taught me to take life easy; living one day at a time and giving my all to the day as it passes. It has also taught me that with the life we are living, our life’s story is being knitted together like a dough, with us going from phase to phase. It has taught me, especially through the life of her husband, as explained in the book that every single thing we have done/will do will lead to the ultimate end no matter how unimportant/insignificant it appears to be. For Barack Obama, her husband, his work the project VOTE!, which he did many years before becoming the president ended up being an advantage for him as he campaigned for his own presidency, while Michelle’s job at Public Allies (amidst other jobs) prepared her for the role destiny would later ‘throw’ at her- the First Lady role.

In ending this post, I would love to encourage us all to trust our processes, even when they appear so bleak; for in the end, with hardwork and authenticity, everything would make sense, and eventually work together for our good as promised if we faint not. The phase may seem hard and challenging now, but you never know how helpful it would be down the line, and how extremely sorry you would have been if you had not gone through it. Believe, trust the process and surrender, enjoying each moment as they come.

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