Merry Christmas!!! I Have Something To Tell You!

It’s the end of the year. I bet by now we will have so many lessons, trainings, talks and articles on how to start 2020. Acronyms such as SMART, in relation to our goals for 2020 would be all over the place.

In the midst of what seems to be ‘normal’ for this season, especially for the fact that it is said that a new decade is upon us, I would love to tell you something different; and this would be my word of advice for the year 2020- Start small and steady.

Why do I advise a ‘small’ start? It’s because great things build up. Just yesterday, I read something I find to be true in some ways- it says- "In the real sense, there is nothing new about the 'new year', it's a continuation of dates and time..."- Ajayi Adebayo.

Somebody I see as a mentor once talked about a runner who was popular in the 80s and early 90s- Carl Lewis. Almost all through his career, he seemed to maintain a chain of wins/break records, especially when he was running the marathon. It soon was discovered that one major reason he had all that win was because he started his race with steady efforts, instead of starting like others who at the very beginning would exhaust themselves with too much zeal. His steady nature, especially at the beginning provides the strategy with which he uses to end the race strong by giving all his energy to the last quarter of the race, when all others would have been tired, even if they wanted to give the race their all.

In other words, as the new year comes, do not be scared into making gigantic decisions and goals, just because everyone around you is. Like the sentence rightly said, a new year is basically the continuation of the life you have lived thus far. While it always seem as a good time to appraise oneself and have new goals, it might not always be an avenue to start all fresh. It might actually be a time to build on the premise of the things done last year. Besides, starting small and steady seems to build/sustain strength and energy over time, unlike starting with so much energy (which most of the time, brings about early fatigue).

Based on a number of factors, most countries/companies start their ‘new years’ at different times of the year. For some organizations, their new year starts right in the middle of the year; mostly referred to as ‘financial year’. For human beings as well, if we give a deep thought, our new year basically starts on the date of our birth anniversaries (our birthdays), and probably not necessarily on the first of January of every year. Starting the new year steady and celebrating every seeming win in the process helps in building energy, as well as a clear head for making decisions, thereby taking away undue pressure

Not saying the natural and general new year cannot present an opportunity to start afresh, just saying it should not be an avenue to mount undue pressure on yourself. Someone that started a project some days to January 1 might do himself a bit of harm trying to start another one without finishing the one he started prior, all because of a new year. Projecting our goals should not be just on general new years, but at every phase of our lives, be it quarterly or biannual.

If you happen to be a person of the Spirit, search out your goals using your spirit, because only then (coupled with prayer and fasting) can adequate strength be released, and you wouldn’t just get tired at the middle of the road (and sometimes at the very beginning!), due to ‘mere’ resolutions and all, backed with no power or conviction whatsoever.

Meanwhile, today being the very last Wednesday of the year, I would like to wish us all a Happy new year in advance. More importantly, I would like to shout – MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!, today actually being Christmas day. As well, I would like to say a big thank you to you for being with me every step of the way. Thank you for reading the different articles posted on this blog, as well (and perhaps more importantly), for sharing them on your whatsapp statuses and social media pages. I am indeed VERY grateful, and I love you all. 

See You next year by His Grace (Next week Wednesday is actually the 1^st of January!). See you then!

N.B- If there are some deals you need to close, especially such that can only be closed in January, please by all means, do your best to close your deals. The idea of starting small and steady is an attempt to take undue pressure off you, and to make you celebrate your little wins instead of the big wins we seek to achieve based on ‘new year resolutions’, which majority of the time, ends up weighing us down a while into the new year. This is not an article to encourage laziness or complacency, but one to encourage stability, especially one that leads to amazing results through constant and conscious efforts, as well as adequate planning.

Photo Credit- Google Images

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Guest Writer Emmanuella Obumaese: Let The Person In You Emerge!

Man comes as a drop of semen and leaves as a piece of dust. Doesn’t know when he came and doesn’t know when he is leaving. As simple as it sounds, everyone is here for a purpose and with a unique and specific gift. We all have dreams and see visions through our minds- what to be and become. That very thing in us that wants expressions is actually what the world needs from us. 

We cannot choose our parent; we cannot choose our origin not even our height or complexion but we can chose to take a decision.

As humans created with purpose, we sometimes have unpleasant feelings when it has to do with coming out of our comfort zone to manifest our purpose and talent(s): a disharmony that comes when we are not so sure of what the outcome of our decision would be in terms of feedback from the environment. As a result, majority of the time, we are left with the option of not expressing our inner strength.

However to become the person God really made, we must take a decision.

The decision is to Become! To give our inner self an outward expression that would be beneficial to humanity. A decision to contribute in making the world go round, without which we would be mere existing beings with no bearing. 

In giving expression to what we see in our inner self, we need to focus on  what we see in our mind, eyes, and press towards its realization, irrespective of the utter despise and rejection from our immediate environment.

As our topic implies- EMERGE! It means to become visible, prominent, unfold and simply to come out. Permit me to ask this!  You want a life? Get one! Do something about what you see in your mind.  Always take a step to become visible and prominent even if it looks like you are taking one step forward and two steps backward.

To all the young people out there; a couple of encouragements I have for you are as follow: 

1. Do not pretend to be who you are not. 
2. Bring out your own style and find a symbol to always remind yourself of who you are and want to become so you don’t drift out of your vision.
3. Go out of your normal routine to achieve your dreams even if it feels demanding.
4. Be confident at all times and be prepared for anything.
5. Be honest with yourself and never be scared of change.
6. Resist the temptation to despise your little talent as the biblical phrase goes "But of what difference would this make among so many?"
7. Create the life you deserve because the world won’t give you what you deserve, only the things you reach out to and get for yourself comes to you.
8. Build up your self-esteem. No more standing at the shadows.
9. Take on the stage and emerge.
10. Don’t be with anyone who does not believe in you.

Photo Credit: Emmanuella Obumaese

About the writer: Emmanuella Adjoshoghene Obumaese is a professionally trained counselor, Child Mentor and a seasoned educationist. She speaks in career conferences and seminars in view of the generality of life and spheres with special interest on the wholeness of human personality. Emmanuella resides in Lagos Nigeria and can be reached on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Lessons Life Has Taught Me: Handling Phases, Seasons and Issues.

Being someone with a baby face as it were, before now, I’d thought that if I attain a certain phase of life, a jolt of respect or honour as it were would be attached to my name, especially my face. But then, now at the phase I’d always thought there would be a difference regarding some things in my life, especially such that would ‘invalidate’ my baby face, I found myself to be struggling with the same thing I was struggling with initially before attaining the phase I am right now. 

Life being what it is- a place full of cycles of joy, as well as cycles of issues, coupled with my experiences over time, especially this new one, I would plead with us all (myself inclusive) to seek for immediate solution to a problem once it arises, instead of procrastinating and like me, looking forward to a phase, thinking the phase would erase such problem.

Another thing I have realized about life is that- Garbage in, Garbage out. Life is lived from the inside (inside-out). And no level no matter what holds the key to our total transformation without us working on things on the inside in the first place. Someone with a low self esteem will suddenly not be fixed when money comes, no matter the abundance. If the low self esteem cannot be dealt with without money, having money would make it worse, though in a different dimension. The low self esteem present would only change position, moving from one state/phase to another. As a result, the individual would be taking decisions from a very wrong place on the inside, due to the low self esteem and the attempt to use money as a cover up.

One other thing I have learnt about phases, seasons and issues undealt with is that- nothing on earth can define you, especially in a way that would bring freedom and originality. As one of our guest writers- Adeteju Adeniran once said on the blog- our identity should not be tied to something ephemeral, but something eternal and of much greater value than anything that can be found on the earth, even ourselves (paraphrased). Once this is achieved comes contentment, as well as the will to face things as they come instead of procrastinating it and leaving it till another season as though the new season has automatic eraser in its bosom that would make it all go away without a single effort applied.

In the end, when it comes to life, especially things that happens on the inside, nothing goes on its own. Issues go because we deal with them, not because we procrastinate and leave them till another season. Any undealt with issue would only change form with a new season, and as a result, aggravate beyond what it was in the last season. As a result, let us deal with our issues, so we can enter each new level with freshness, wholeness and new might.

How do we deal with issues you ask me? God willing, it could form a topic for our next discussion.

See you next week by His Grace.

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Who Are Your Support Systems?

 “I think I am jinxed,'' I said, letting go of the torrent of tears that I had been holding back while commuting to her office. She looked so broken hearted as she told me “No, you are blessed and not cursed”. Life had dealt me a very hard blow, I was in a very bad place and I was down with severe malaria. She then decided not to let me go back to my apartment but go to hers and I was with her for a week.

We all go through the highs and lows of life, but we don’t have to do it in isolation. It’s a good feeling to know that you have people in your corner that can always be there for you through the highs and lows. We all need people who will speak life to us when others are echoing our pain.

I feel so blessed when my mum would check on me everyday despite her busy schedule. I think about my friend who is nursing an infant and will still ensure she checks up on me even though it’s very late in the night. Acts like this keep you going even when everything in your space is telling you to do otherwise. Friendships still multiply our joy and reduce our griefs.

Relationships are gifts, and we should not take them for granted. I feel so blessed each time I remember the wonderful people God has gifted me with. There are some blessings you get just because of the company you keep. We live in a very desensitized society and people no longer see the need to connect with people in their space. Think about this, if things really go wrong in your space, can you count two to three people that can be there for you through everything? If you can’t, you better get to work. Let me clear the air here, I am a staunch believer in people being responsible so this is not a write-up encouraging abdicating the responsibilities of one’s life to someone else. This is more like a call to understand that life should not be lived in isolation.

I have enjoyed the gift of very strong support systems in human form and I feel the need to share some tips:

1. Be truly concerned and show care for people in your space. He that must have friends must show himself friendly. Be that one friend that people can count on.
2. Give, give and give. Kindness makes a person’s face shine, this means that people become attracted to you. Everyone has something to give trust me, nothing is too small. I guess it is the thought that matters.
3. Understand that we are still humans and no one is perfect so give room for offences. Remember that everyone is fighting their own battles so they might not be there for you all the time. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on humans, because you are one too.
4. Open your heart even though you might get hurt. People live in their own shells and prevent access just to avoid heartbreak and betrayals. Well I don’t believe that’s a way to live. I understand the need to regulate access because whoever has access has influence but this is not an excuse to lock up totally.

In closing, find your tribe and hold them dearly.  I pray that you find the right set of people to do life with.

Written by: Adeteju Adeniran

Photo Credits: Google Images

About the Author: Adeteju Adeniran is an internationally trained occupational health and safety professional. She loves to write on faith, hope, and lifestyle, getting her inspiration from the day to day occurrences around her.  She has an obsession with anything African print (lol). She resides in Lagos, Nigeria, where she is impacting her world, one kind deed after another.

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LinkedIn/Facebook: Adeteju Adeniran