Ladies! Here is a Book You Want in Your Library!

Have you ever wondered why men would pay thousands and millions just to get in-between a woman's legs? Has it ever crossed your mind to know some histories and origins concerning women, especially such that started way before we were born?

After years of concern and effective research on issues that affect women closely, I am happy to present to you my new book - The Treasure in Your Vagina: Using What You Have to get What You Want.

This book weaved science, history, psychology, religion and real life scenarios to get to the basis of sexual and relational issues concerning women. Men as well are not left out. It gives an exposé on sex and money and how it affects both genders.

The process led to revealing a particular perspective that can help women stay focused and stable in their pursuit of destiny.

So, looking for something to read over the weekend?

Here is one of the numerous review for the book: 

"This book is so timely in our current world where many women struggle with identity crisis and difficulties in navigating the various seasons of life. Eniola has done an excellent job of explaining the uniqueness of the woman from a very fresh perspective. Many lessons can be gleaned from the case studies shared in the book. It's a must read for everyone especially women who need insight on embracing their peculiar life journey and becoming all what God has destined them to be." - Adeteju Adeniran, Health and Safety Professional, Mental Health Advocate

Check out the book here:

https://www.amazon.com/Treasure-Your-Vagina-Married-Understand-ebook/dp/B08XP1FZLK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=eniola+olaosebikan&qid=1614584733&sr=8-1

And on Okadabooks app. All for a token!

Hmmmh. Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go...

Most parents train up their children in their ways, not in the actual way the child should go.

As a parent, you failed at medicine. The next thing, you are training your child to go in the way you desired to go, forgetting that the child is actually an art student, not a a lover of science class. You see how much the child loves music and anything art, but no, it has to be your own way.

Training up a child in a way he should go does not only have to do with moral training, but also pointing him to the possibilities that lie in his interest.

Helping a child to maximize his gifting is one of the major reasons God entrusted that child into your hands, not just to flog and flog and flog.

No doubt parenting is not easy, but we can always do better.

Watch your child. Encourage his passion. Not just fighting with him for not greeting his elders and all those cultural trainings.

As well, engaging your children is one of the best gifts you can give to them. Stop leaving them to be idle.

An idle child tends to be more destructive than an occupied child. When a child is occupied with the things of value he loves doing, there would be little time to spend on idleness. No doubt kids would always be kids, but we can limit their idleness by occupying them. Their future does not start tomorrow, it starts now.

'ohun eye je l'eye gbefo'. Your kids can only fly with the things you instill into them.

If you are not too proud of your child's output, you might want to check your level of input as a parent.

You like the way other kids are involved in extra activities? Enroll your child as well.

Kids that go the extra mile are usually smarter, and more confident.

Your children might not know the extent of the things you do for them now, but trust me, they will thank you for those things later.

Reason for my many epistle?

Most Nigerian parents force their children to go to 'ori oke' and the likes. Looking back, how many of such kids are pastors? They basically do what they have to do to put up with their parents, pending their independence.

Imagine if such parents had trained their kids in their line of passion? Imagine how grateful they would be upon growing up? But no o, _you must do vigil 247 and climb mountain join._ Busy training the 'poor' children in their own way, just because they happen to love religious activities themselves.

Am I saying you should not bring up your children in a religious way? Absolutely not, but know where to stop so they won't end up hating God. It's one reason most pastors' kids end up rebellious.

Introduce your children to God, guide their growth as well. Preferably, let them see Christ in you. When they do, you wouldn't have to force them to love God. A Godly life can make you your children's hero, instead of their nightmare. Exemplary leadership never fails. 

You have at least 15years to influence your children. In those years, you can either become their hero, or their nightmare.

Maybe one other thing:

Parents, kindly know that the era of 'only book' has passed. You put your child at a disadvantage if all he has is education.

This is a skill era. You can't afford to train that child like you were in a 'certificate era'. 

Education is good, but pay equal attention to extracurricular activities. Even Barrack Obama didn't get to the White House through education alone, he got there through community service & social engagements.

God help us all.

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Married? Ponder on This

If all you can offer your spouse are the things money can buy, there might be little or no need for your existence.

The things money can't buy are the things that hold couples together. If as a wife, all you have to offer your husband is cooking and cleaning, what happens when a house help is gotten?

If as a man too, all you have to offer your wife is money, what happens the day she no longer needs your money?

The things we use to fill the space between us shows when life happens. When it does, those with intangible offerings sail through, leaving those solely fixated on material things to drown.

What are these intangible things? Unconditional love, support, loyalty, thoughtfulness, kindness, presence, etc. A couple that has these things has it all.

Your spouse can get all the things money can buy outside of you. The things neither of you can get outside of yourselves and money cannot buy, is all that matters.

Couples outdate themselves when only tangible things hold them together. When a shift occurs and the tangible is no longer necessary, a chasm becomes inevitable.

In the end, things money can't buy ensures your relevance, and the longevity of your marriage. No one can outdate kindness. Be kind to your spouse. Be thoughtful too.

#WhatMakesYouCount

#WhatMakesYouIrreplaceable

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Are You Full of Fear? Fear of Death, Uncertainties? Can I Tell You Something?

When God told Joshua to meditate on His Word day and night, He knew what He was saying. He knew that human minds would always wander once there is no intentionality. Little wonder the children of Israel were quick to make a golden calf once Moses was out of sight.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Your mind is full of fear because it's empty of positivity. Fill yourself with God's Word and the fear begins to disappear. Injection of positivity will always flush negativity out over time.

No matter how powerful you are, if you do not intentionally feed your mind, you will find yourself full of fear and anxiety over time.

Remember Jesus' words:

“When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest but finding none. Then it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept, and in order.  Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before."

Matthew 12:43‭-‬45a NLT

May God help us all. Amen.

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Learning To See The Beauty Of Your Life Despite The Struggles

We start life thinking life is a race, only to discover it’s a journey.

Why do we think life is a race? Because like it happens in races, we start life together with our mates, thinking we are headed towards the same destination, with a prize awaiting the individual who arrives first. This idea holds sway in primary school, secondary school, and sometimes university. When we leave university, we expect the same trend, only to realize after a long while that everyone’s life is peculiar. Some marry after university, some travel out of their countries of origin, others settle down to work, and so on.

The sad thing is that the society, even our parents speaks to us as though life is a race. ‘see your mates out there’, ‘see Tola, Iya Doyin’s daughter, you started together…”. Sometimes based on the comparison, we begin to feel bad, and not enough. However, liberation comes the moment we realize that life is not meant to be lived in packs, but in peculiarity. No doubt at some points, we might have moments of similarities, but that’s all about it. We return to our peculiarities per time.

Life, as I have come to discover is an experience for us all, no one has passed through this way before. No doubt we have people telling us what to do, giving us rules, and all, but sometimes, it works only for the writer, and a few people on a similar journey. Note - few in the last sentence might mean millions, considering the fact that there are billions of people on the earth. As a result, I would dare to say – life sometimes is a matter of trial and error. The only thing I would say has stood the test of time would be the written Word – the Bible. This is because things in this book has stood the test of time, and will keep standing (I say this not because I am a Christian, but for the fact that it is the only book in my opinion that have withstood centuries, and is still standing. It details things from the past, to the present, and then the future, and the lifestyle written therein is the truest and most rewardable life in the long run you can find). Another reason why this book has stood the test of time might be the fact that the book literally predates us as humans, especially some experiences therein.

If life is like I see it at the moment (an experience of trial and error to some varying degrees, as well as a journey full of ups and downs), how then do we find balance, and as well, see the beauty in the life we live, especially if it does not feel palatable at the moment?

My number one would be – count your blessings always. How do we count our blessings? Through retrospect, as well as gratitude. We appear thankless because we happen to be familiar with our life. Familiarity no doubt breeds contempt. One way to avoid the plague of familiarity with the life we live is to see our lives (the struggles notwithstanding) as a miracle. When I was much younger, I used to thank God for one thing – the fact that I have a mind, and I happen to be privy to every little thing that goes on in it. That for many years felt amazing for me (well, until adulthood crept in and stole the wonder of the thought from me as it were).

No doubt you feel things are not working in your favour as much as you desire, but then, come to think of it, you have several other things too. You have the breath of life (which is about the greatest symbol of hope a mortal being can have asides faith in God), and in most cases, you have a good health too. The combination of this (breath and good health) can make anything possible. What about moments of joy you’ve had on the course of your journey? As well as difficult issues you’ve been through that serves as a form of hope, and inspiration for the future?

If there is anything I miss about being in Wales, UK, it would be my nature tour per time. Being present in nature, especially such with serenity and beauty calms me down like nothing else I know. If you happen to be like me, going to a quiet and beautiful place would help focus your thought on the beauty and greatness of God, instead of the seeming complexity of your troubles.

These tips might feel simple, and somehow ‘cheesy’, but then, I hope it works for you. If it doesn’t, please find something else that would, especially for your sanity sake. As well, inasmuch as this happens to be my advice, if at all any relief, it will be good to know that I am not yet a pro on these things discussed. Having seen the stability it gives to my soul when practiced, I am learning to get a hold of it, in addition to making my mind fixed on heavenly things by engaging in spiritual activities such as reading the Bible, praying and worshipping. Life, as well as this experience, proves to be a journey for me.

I wish us all well.

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Comfort For When A Loved One Dies

Somebody you loved died. Somebody with a kind heart (e.g Ibidun Ighodalo) died, and the whole world becomes afraid, thinking - who will die next?

Can I say something?

I will be lying if I say the death all around did not get to me, especially the death of the good ones who left very early. But then, can we put on our thinking caps?

Jesus died at the age of 33. If you were alive at the time Jesus died, your thought could be - 'if Jesus died, who else is safe?'. And suddenly, a spirit of fear and uncertainty descends. And from there, anxiety springs up...But then, do you know what? -

Jesus died fulfilling His purpose even though to those watching, He died 'untimely'. I have come to realize that we did not make time, and as a result, we do not get to decide what is timely, or untimely. We do not get to decide who married 'late' and who married 'early'.

As human beings living on this planet space called earth, our times are all in God's Hands. 

As a result, if you are angry at God for taking a loved one, or fearful that you might be next owing to an unexpected death around you, relax. The fact that Jesus died young did not make everyone start dying at the age of 33. It also did not mean that He sinned and His sin took Him out.

Until we realize that our journeys are different and unique, fear and dissatisfaction may plague us all our lives.

So, relax bro. Relax sis. God's gat you, and your life is in His Hands. There is no safety in fear, only sicknesses and misbehaviours. Death should make us realize one thing - our sojourn here on earth is temporary. It shouldn't invoke the spirit of fear into us.

And so, if you've been battling with the spirit of anxiety and depression as a result of painful/unexpected death, I speak Phillippians 4:6-8 to you. May the peace of God that passes all human understanding become yours, especially as you ruminate on the greatness of God, and the fact that come what may, He's got you.

*Hugs*

*N.B* - If you are angry God took your loved one, remember He gives to all, and has the liberty to take as well. We all are His creatures, we met on earth and became father, mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, best friend...and the list goes on. If you are a farmer and you pluck your maize at the time you feel is right, are you being wicked or being thoughtful? (If maizes could talk, especially if they bond like humans on arrival, don't you think they'll hate the farmer instead of seeing the farmer's reason? Especially the fact that they were not planted to live forever in the first place).

 Every creator of an earthly product has the right to release to the market, and withdraw at will. God gave Jesus to Mary. The same God took Jesus when it was time (for a greater good no man could see at the time). If we see life as a market of some sort, then giving God the 'Creator right' would go a long way to alleviate our pain per time. 

I hope this hard life's truth meets you well.

Shalom.

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What Was The First Thing You Thought About That One Time You Thought You Would Die?

As a child, I was told I’d had a bit of health scares. The first I was told was when I took chloroquine and almost passed out as a result. All because I happened to be allergic to chloroquine but no one knew. My mum even though a practicing doctor at the time said she was very scared.

The second time was when I took yellow yam (called Esuru in local Yoruba language). My mum said the same thing – I almost passed out and once again, they were very scared. While I have been able to take Yellow Yam after the incidence as I got older, I still happen to be allergic to chloroquine.

However, as an adult, I remember one health scare I had. It was during the time of Ebola – 2014. I had entered a bus, and a child from nowhere had vomited beside me. Coincidentally, days after the experience, I became ill and was experiencing some core symptoms of Ebola – vomiting, diarrhea, temperature and the likes. Funny isn’t it?

While I laid on my bed afraid of what could be as a result of my experience in the bus few days prior, one thing laid in my heart that I couldn’t let go. The books I wanted to write, and such I could have written. Nothing else mattered to me save for that. Even though I was scheduled to go for my Masters in the UK at the time, it never came as a regret on my ‘dying bed’.

It’s been said that the thing you think about times you’ve thought death was inevitable for you are the things that really matters. The regret or pain that fills you is a great pointer to what matters. For some, it was the pain of not spending enough time with their family, for others, like me then, it was the pain of not being able to fulfill what they perceive as their purpose for living.

Have you ever had a health scare? What was your thought at that moment? If you stare at death’s face like most people have in their course of living, what would matter to you most at that point? Seek that thing out and try to make amends if needed, and in the case of purpose, try to pursue it all you can, despite the many obstacles you would face.

Considering the transient nature of life, all that would matter when we are gone would be the legacy the passion in our heart made us leave behind. I.e - the love of humanity we carried in our heart that made us pursue what we felt mattered and would be of use to humanity, as well as the genuine care we showed to the people around us.

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