2018- What A Year!

If this happened to be a journal and I am to write all the things that happened to me in 2018, I would sure have been needing tons and tons of pages. This because a whole lot happened, including some exciting news I hope to share with you in 2019 God willing (which already makes me all giddy just on the mere thought/mention of it!) and obviously some not too good things which through Grace I’ve converted to lessons and wisdom.

But then, in the midst of all the great stuffs that happened, including the lessons that I have (invariably) learnt, one thing seems to ring and ring in my head- a question that fills me with much depth and at such, consumes my very being, and the question is- what do I have left?

This question I guess keeps ringing a bell because of the turbulence at some point it seems my year became filled with. I faced a number of things that made me feel I had nothing left, and at that- had no hope whatsoever. 2018- especially the mid/later part, things got so intense with me emotionally that it took only God’s Grace and the help and love of people around me to keep me grounded on my feet (that’s why in life, you can’t do without a team of awesome people around you).

But then, standing here as though on a mountain and looking back (down) at 2018 from the angle of reminiscence (despite the few days remaining), I realized that every single thing that happened to me was for a purpose- they served as the cements and stones mixed with my gravel to produce a solid foundation for which my life’s destiny would be based on. And now, with one hand on my chest and the other one raised to God (for the Grace He endowed me with during the phase), I can boldly say I know much better, even though there are of course more things to learn (as this is life and we never stop learning either through the books, people’s lives or experience itself).

I can boldly stand on the mountain top with frantic breeze of victory blowing through me and look happily at what I have left with a resolve to do all I can with it, heartily forgetting such things I have lost. As a result- focus I would say is one thing I have to bring into 2019, not as a new year resolution, but as an all-time life realization. 2018 has taught me to release the bad and press into the good to create something spectacular that would pass for brand new. Hence me focusing on that which I have left and can use, instead of that I do not possess again and have lost.

Speaking of what I have left, God tops my list (believe me, if in the midst of all that is lost you have God left, trust me- you have everything), an active breath and sound mind, the willingness to work amidst many other things - which already is enough, even more than enough, to start/work with.

So my question to you as echoed all through this straight from the heart piece is- what do you have left? Whatever those things are (or that thing as the case may be is)- Give the praise to God and match valiantly into 2019 with it. Match in with your health, your breath, your great friends gained, your skills discovered (or remaining as the case may be), and much more. Walk in gallantly like a soldier who has fought many great wars and won and is returning home- and welcome the new year with such joy, hope and expectancy, especially such that puts both your remnant and resolve to work.

Much love and Happy New Year in advance.

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Making The World A Better Place (Sequel)

Continuing from where we stopped last week- talking about the world being in cycle and we needing ourselves in many ways not only to survive but to ensure the existence of great virtues by making what goes around come around so to say.  The world becoming the great place we imagine it to be is a function of us all expressing our gifts and talents in ways and mediums we know how best.  

The world would indeed be better if we seek not to consume alone, but also create, If we choose not to take alone, but also give; children in desert areas would have been taken care of through both acts of kindness and more efficient means of technology. Our love for comfort zones and perhaps excessive pleasure explains why not just us are the way we are, but also why the world is still the way it is and those precious kids are still where they are- somewhere in the helpless desert hurt and sickly. Some vaccines as well would have been discovered to combat some more diseases effectively, but alas, we all are caught up in the hustle and bustles of life as it were. Perhaps the one that is meant to have been the inventor of that the world needs so desperately is stuck somewhere in his comfort zone with an oil job, or perhaps that of a bank and is unwilling to follow his ordained path despite the daily nudgings of his heart and the willingness of his intuition to serve as a basic guide along the way.

The ‘risk’ we take to be who we should be not only affects us, but also those around us we know now or for some reasons do not know yet. One thing that strikes me about Mo Abudu’s story is her willingness to leave the familiar for the unfamiliar. She left an oil job(!), first to face her own HR company which is perhaps commendable, but then to go into the world of media which she has never been!- that my friend, is highly commendable. Who does that? I must have imagined what would have played in her head- the fear of being in a brand-new terrain, fear of starting from the scratch, fear of ‘what if I fail’ and the likes, but in some ways, her persistence paid off and now, we have someone from Africa taking Africa to the world and changing the sickly narrative foreign media tells about Africa. Not only that, we also have someone making African movies stand tall on the world’s shelf with admiration and bewilderment.

One way to find our place on the face of the earth is to pay attention to the things that hurts us as well as the things that it’s absence always makes us cry on the inside. Paying attention to ourselves and our state of mind per time can point us to our primary area of calling. That way, compassion instead of sole pleasure or hanging on to survival mode can rule and guide our decisions and we would find ourselves caring for people through the pursuits of our inventions and the services we have to give to the world. Besides, the ‘more’ we seek that sometimes makes us stay put in our comfort zone can always be found in following our dreams. Over time, being in the fullness of our dream would always find us living the life we desire. Yes, the beginning might be rough, but with the fullness of it comes the life we want, as well as the world the world would have desired through us. In essence, following through with our dream is a two-way street: it benefits us and the world at large.

Oprah Winfrey with some of the 'girls' she trains in her academy

The world being a whole big puzzle, God sends us down piece by piece, bit by bit such that as we do our part as sent, the world becomes a better place. If everyone sent to the world actually fulfills their quota, we all would be in a better place and space. The resultant effect of the world not being what it was created to be is not farfetched from the choices we make as individuals. This is because we all get to the earth and over time, something else takes our priority. Instead of being consumed in that that burns beautifully on the inside of us, we either seek hard after pleasure or compare ourselves to one another such that makes us lose the fervor of going after our own dreams and becoming that which we were meant to be. We procrastinate as well, putting till tomorrow what we know we can do today thinking we have all the time in the world. We also become so concerned with self-preservation such as what to wear, what to drink and what to eat such that chokes away our dream and the urge/persistence to fight for it.

Our lives as humans usually unfolded in phases, the fear of new beginnings per time makes us stay put in our old phases (our comfort zones), relishing the success it has brought over time, and that we still think it would bring. We are often time afraid to step out into the new because we do not know what to expect, as well an overall view of the eventual phase. As a result, we acquiesce to life all we can till finally we wake up and we are eighty and retiring. We fail to know that if certainty is all we live for, our lives will never have a meaning, because at some points in life, we have to jump. We have to jump with all hope of being caught and times when we seem not caught, we have to be willing to start from where we are. Starting all over could be intimidating and challenging, but if well planned and followed as laid down by our intuition, we would find ourselves sooner enough soaring with wings as with eagles.

Food for thought: How would the world be like when instead of drunken and abusive fathers, we have inventors, heartfelt engineers and the likes, and in the place of Aso Ebi and excessive fun seeking mothers, we have doctors, lawyers, media gurus and the likes? The world would indeed be a better place if we all fall into our place and stop floating in places we are not wanted or we shouldn’t even be in the first place- work places we go in tears and never out of love, friends we have that holds us back but we keep for status reasons, etc.

Our children as a matter of fact would be safer because there would be no child molester or serial rapist because everybody someway somehow would be busy contributing their quotas positively to the world instead of devising evil means to hurt other people. How lovely would the world be if everybody were focused on their lives as though we had exams the next day? Everyone would not only be busy doing what they were called to do, but also have little time for frivolities. Well, someone might say the world would be boring if we all are to get busy, but then what if lack of self-fulfillment is what make people while away time finding what is not lost in the first place? I once heard someone say- “if you never find fulfillment within yourself as an individual, you will never find fulfilment in the things you do outside of yourself”. In other words, the highest form of fun would be the one we find within ourselves- the fun we find on the path to being who we are called to be. The wholeness destiny brings is fun on its own- think about it.  

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Why The World Is Not A Better Place (1)

Hey people. How are we doing? Hope good? Well, just in case you just asked or wondered, I am good too, thank you. It’s been a less busy week, thank God.

So, a while ago, I wrote an article with a perspective to why the world is not a better place as it were, and came up with a few fundamental reasons- with a trace to how things could have been if everything intended was followed. This article (that would be read by you in a jiffy) was meant to be submitted to one of the popular blogs I freelance for, but then I thought, why not this particular blog? Don’t my people deserve to read insightful articles like this? Hence my decision to post it here, instead of the other blog, as this right here is where home is- with you guys- my readers. Besides, I’m positive that I have a powerful group of intellectuals as readers, especially as suggested by the many feed backs I receive. So here, without further ado or much talking (which I guess I can do….lol), here we go- just as it was written initially:

“Imagine how the world would be like if we had more Bill Gates in the world with regards to his money? The world would be a better and happier place I guess. But then, why is the world as big as it is full of very few rich people who are really making impacts in their field and human life/standard of living in general? I guess there would be two reasons:

·         One- the people who were meant to explore the gifts and talents given to them are not using it

·         Two- A few people who have gotten rich has become so self-centered and self-focused.

Talking about the first reason, a question comes to mind- why are people not using the gifts and talents God gave them? Number one reason perhaps would have been laziness, but because it sounds kind of ‘judgy’, I would say that the number one reason is that people give up quite easily on their dreams in exchange for the comfort zone. We give up easily on our dreams because we fail to see sometimes the big picture; how our success will not only affect us, but also some kids somewhere helpless and waiting for a literal savior. Because truth be told, the Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) we do to give back to the society goes a long way. The child we sponsor in school, the community we give water and as a result have made their lives easier, even the orphanages we build and the children we take care of therein and the likes. But then if there is no money, and we on our own are struggling, how will we remember the children suffering and the helpless elderly handicapped in some ways not to talk of alleviating their needs? That’s why it’s important we all strive to make our dreams a reality, because it’s not only about us, but also about the innocent souls we do not know yet but are attached to us.

And sometimes, it’s not about money, it’s about the heart and willingness to pursue that dream in our heart. Why do I say it’s not always about money sometimes? There was this story I heard about the founder of the slum2school (Makoko kids). He had no direct money to take care of the kids; all he had was the heart and the direction of how to go about it. At the time he decided to take it up as a challenge, it seemed crazy because he himself was a National Youth Corps Member (Corper), having perhaps little. And perhaps the craziest thing was the fact that his passion and the direction he had at the time made him resign his youth Corper job in the bank he was with at the time- who does that? What Corper resigns with a bank literally? But he did anyway, and today, the whole thing is history. The kids are doing great and he is not doing bad either. So could it be that you are still at your comfort zone and the world is waiting for you to come take your place in the universe? Come to think about it- what is your comfort zone? Your job, your friends, your perceieved status; what exactly? Not saying one should resign or leave one’s job, but a thorough examination of one’s heart per time would always show us the way and the next thing to do. That’s why it’s always good to take time out to reflect and connect with our inner self (our intuition) per time. The more we connect with our intuition, the easier it is for it to lead us. Our intuition is our compass and would always point us to the right direction if only we take our time to explore it. And times when what we want to know seems higher than our intuition in terms of knowledge, it points us to God- the Source and Maker of all. 

Sometimes I wonder- what if the person who discovered electricity never did, what would have been the story of the world today? Yes, perhaps someone else would have, but him discovering it at the (perceieved) right time made everything easier. As a matter of fact, his discovery has become a major bedrock all other discoveries and modernizations we have today relies on today. Our modern phones perhaps would have failed to be in existence without his invention. In other words, we all have parts to play in the world for it to be a better place.

Food for thought: Imagine children in the slum who everyone seems to have given up upon going on to become inventors, medical doctors, artists etc all on your account? All because you picked them up and raised them, making sure something becomes of their lives instead of the nothing they have perhaps settled for due to seeming hopelessness and lack of direction? Or better still, Imagine the world that would become better because of your invention?

I once read that the cave we sometimes fear to enter the most holds our greatest treasure. What cave would you say holds your life’s assignment today? Especially such that you are afraid to enter? What is it today that you are holding back on? Remember that it’s not about you alone, but the world as well. We are connected more than we know; far beyond social media, with the success of one depending on that of another in some ways. Life is like a cycle, we all need ourselves to complete the cycle per time. We need to pass our kindness round so the world would be so full of kindness as opposed to the hurts and meanness it carries around today so to speak”.

To be continued.....

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Meghan Markle’s Patience- A Lesson For Ladies?

Hey guys! It’s another exciting edition from the stable of Soul Writer. How have we been? Well, if you ask me, I’ll say I’ve been quite busy. Not necessarily busy with work and running around as it were, but busy delving deep into life and trying to understand the meaning of life, especially my life as it were. For a while, my life has been like broken pieces of bottles scattered across the floor, so all I’ve been doing (and still doing) is picking up the pieces- such that I can gather- to see the whole it makes and what I can deduce of it. I’m at a point whereby I’m assembling my life and seeing what the pieces, the experiences, desires and passion over time can, and will lead me. Perhaps if chance permits, we can delve into this experience of mine as it is worth sharing. But then today, it is not about me, it is about a thought that flashed across my mind and I thought to share: about Meghan Markle- the Duchess of Sussex.

Meghan Markle- I believe she needs no introduction, but just incase some of us are just back from lonely journeys in the jungle and we need a lot of catching up (like I sometimes do), I would make it easier for us. Meghan Markle is a royal princess- an actress, gender activist in her own right turned princess. How did she turn a princess? Well, hers is not the Cinderella kind of story. No fairy godmother appeared to her, no fairy godmother gave her a dress to wear, and most especially- no fairy godmother gave her a pair of slippers that would end up getting lost and leading her to her prince charming from which she would become a princess: there was none of that. She became a princess because she met Prince Harry- a British royal, and she fitted perfectly into who he could have as a wife, especially one aside the fact that he fell in love with her, would survive the bureaucracy of being in the royal house, especially being a princess not by birth, but by marriage. In other word, my dear friend most likely fresh out from the jungle for good reasons- I would say Meghan Markle became a princess because she possessed the mental and intellectual capacity (and morals too I believe) prince Harry desired in a person that would be standing next to him the rest of his life in the royal courts, aside the love in his heart for her.

Ok, so why this topic? You ask. Meghan has been married before, but she divorced based on grounds known to her and perhaps her former husband. But then, perhaps the major reason for this article is the fact that she married at 36. When I heard the news of her pregnancy, some questions came to mind (perhaps because many like me may have been curious about her fertility status since she was married for a couple of years without an issue, despite being quite younger at the time, and the fact that considering her age, it might be assumed that some odds might try to work against her): I wondered why despite the ‘climbing’ of her age as it were, she never for once (at least not that we know of) opted to be a baby mama. This is because as one grows older and as a single person (lady in this case), one might be tempted with the idea of being a single parent- perhaps because you love kids and it warms your heart to see babies in their parents’ hands, not minding the responsibilities having babies naturally create or perhaps because as a lady, you are scared of the much talked about 'biological clock', especially with no worthy suitor in sight. And so I thought- why didn’t she opt to have a baby as done by her colleagues in the industry? Especially in an age where being a single parent (baby mama) is so much in vogue and unquestionable?

Literally, I would say, her patience in waiting till marriage to become a mother (despite her age) is not only commendable, but worth talking about (in my opinion). As a single lady myself, my humanity sometimes make the idea of being a single parent wear an attractive apparel in front of me, with a beautiful catwalk proclaimed nuns might find hard to refuse, but no- for my divinity: my Christian faith, and the fact that I do not see myself prepared as it were to accommodate a new life, whose life at least for the first 18 years of living would be dependently anchored to mine- I have turned a blind eye to the idea. But then, why wouldn’t an actress- secular, and buoyant enough to afford to have a child as it seemed not opt for one despite her increase in age year in year out? Her faith, belief, hope or perhaps a foretelling?

Permit me to digress a bit as I ask- what if she had had a child in her previous marriage? Would it have greatly reduced her chance of becoming a princess as as it were before she got married, she already had things such as age, race, nationality, profession and all stack against her. Would having a baby (or perhaps babies) have made it almost impossible? I wouldn’t say.

In bringing this article home, especially with questions and scenarios raised, I would like to say that as single ladies, waiting mothers, divorced ladies, God knows exactly where we are, and trust me, He has us in mind and at the right time- just when the timing is right, He would bring our desires across our way. Like I asked in the previous paragraph, what if Meghan had had a child, or perhaps children, would she have met her now husband? That I wouldn’t say, but perhaps she would have been somewhere doing mummy duties, and such free time that led her into the space and time she met and got engaged in conversations with her now husband wouldn’t have happened.

This is not to frown against those that are single parents. Life happens and we all know, and the great and mighty thing is that God is able to make all things work together for our good. A great and modern example of this would be Sarah Jakes Roberts- a lady (woman) I adore with the whole of me, given the calling of God upon her life, her story and the Grace showered on her, as it is being showered on us all in areas perhaps the world do not know about but is worthy as being seen as a testimony to the amazement of all.

To you my esteemed reader reading this, I would like you to know that for every seeming delay, there is always a blessing attached if we do not give up. Because in the end, God not only knows what He is doing; He is also never at loss regarding what we are facing. He knows the script He has written for our lives and when the time is right, He would bring the actors we so much desire (in the form of husbands, babies, meaningful friendships) into our lives. And for those with seemingly sad endings (divorce and all), He knows how to meaningfully bring back your life in shape, no matter how bad you think it has become.

So for now dear single lady- relax, pour yourself all you can into your craft, and enjoy life all you can doing the things you love knowing fully well that you are never forgotten by God, and He for sure has you in mind no matter how long it seems it has been. Like a Yoruba adage would say- ‘what is not enough, will in a matter of time become more than enough’.

Do all you can to hold your peace, and when it seems you can’t, surround yourself with people that can help you keep your calm, and most importantly if you ask me- surround yourself with the Love and constant knowledge of God knowing fully well that like a mother painstakingly cares for a child, He cares for you no matter the mistakes you have made in the past, or delay it seems you are facing.

Till I come your way next time- laugh, play and rejoice- knowing fully well that you are loved and remembered by the One who made you- God.

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When Life Happens

A few days ago I sat on the couch and was trying to think over my life. The process had been ongoing for a while inside of me but a chat I had with a friend brought the whole thing to the surface. I looked at my life- where I am now to the prognosis of my projected future from my past and without the need to think too much, it was obvious they were two opposite ends.

Could remember the trajectory of the life I planned for myself when I was leaving the university. I had everything all planned out. By age 25, I must have had my first child and at a much later age which is fast approaching, I must have been setting a trail in my chosen field. All looked rosy as I dreamt, and I was ready for anything and everything. Well, to cut the long story short, at age 25, I never found myself on the path I set for myself, and at the age fast approaching? Perhaps there is still a three-month hope. So, what do you do when life happens?

Do you cry, get depressed and unnecessarily touchy and angry at everything and everybody? Or do you begin to get jealous and put yourself off thinking no good thing can ever happen to you again since they have not happened already? Just what do you do when life happens?

Well, maybe cry if you must, but beyond crying, re-plan your life. Reason being that it is of little or no value crying over what happens to be spilt milk. Do a deep and honest evaluation of the life you have lived from the time you thought your life was the most meaningful till now; what are the things you missed? Your attitudes, your principles and perhaps your morals, how were they like? Moving to your craft, the very one you have passion for and you are pursuing with the whole of your heart, how good are you there? Or rather, how excellent are you?

Next, ask yourself, perhaps on a deeper level, why do you think you are where you are? Are you there because you have tried all you can and all you can do is wait for the day things will change, or you are there because there are some things you still need to try that you have not tried? What could it be? If on the reverse you have tried all you can, how can you try better? Or perhaps try differently?
Having thought about that, what is now your plan? Perhaps this time around- your plan A, B and C. Perhaps things failed with little or nothing you could do when the whole thing deviated because there were no plan B, C and D. This is not to dismantle your faith, but sometimes, except God said specifically this is the way/route you must go, for things to work, you might have to have your plan A,B,C, even up to Z literally. I guess the more we grow, the more we discover that life is not necessarily white and black, neither is it all a straight road. There are some grey areas/curvy paths which we all must prepare for either directly or indirectly.

Could remember the times I was planning my life years ago in my head (now I do more of pen and paper planning, instead of just head), I did all I did expecting little or no obstacle. Because life had been quite swift in some ways from primary school till then, I thought (unconsciously though), that life would continue being that way. “If only you had the dream, nothing would stop you”- so I’d thought. What I failed to think was- what would you do if something tried to stop you? I had no contingency plan, it was a ‘one-way traffic’ which I held on to rather doggedly, until some months down the line of reaching my predetermined milestone age, some things shifted inside of me.

So, back to my first question, what do you do when life happens? You pick up yourself and try again. And in trying again, you not only start from where you are, but also with what you have. Looking back to start with the things you lost would either put you on the same spot, or make you work with a very slow pace because you would be busy here and there chasing after what is not, and sometimes, getting more discouraged in the process.

In addition to starting all over again literally, be flexible and accommodative of great ideas, especially ideas that may not necessarily be a part of your original plan but fits and has a lot of truth and wisdom in it. Also, be open to opportunities that has windows of growth in them, as well as challenges though tough that can build you; for when it comes to the game of life, never say never and never be too calculated such that you give no room for flexibility. Having the ability to consider and scrutinize opinions and ideas are added advantages in the journey of life. In as much as you have a plan, don’t be too dogged and rigid with it; to get to your goals, there might be many legal and moral ways apart from the one in your plan A. And sometimes, you have to be flexible enough to either change or modify your approach while on the chase as the occasion demands. Sticking strictly to the plan when it could have been better changed could cost you a whole lot, far more than imagined.

When things go the unexpected way, rather than getting depressed and staying in depression for a long time, empty your heart of it’s troubles with deep thoughts, and perhaps a season of tears if you must, and set your feet back on the road and start all over again. When things seemingly go wrong or life happens as we say, take a deep breath, think your way through, and come up with not only a new plan, but with contingency plans so when by some means one fails, you could get back to the others. We spend a lot of time mourning because most of the time, we have no contingency plan; nothing to divert our attention to without breaking down.

When things go wrong, go back to the table (sometimes with your tissue in your hand) and plan again. A part of going back to the table is asking God for fresh ideas and listening diligently with the whole of you for what He has to say. Whatever you hear Him say, be ready to carry it out with the whole of you. Life as we all know is never for the lethargic. To succeed, you must be willing to give the whole of you to what you believe you must do.

In addition to the re-planning and re-evaluations, it will be good to bear in mind that life’s journey was designed with patience, hard work, diligence and perseverance in mind, so whatever stage you are now, make sure to your hard work, you are adding patience and taking things one at a time if you must, because Rome as we all know, was never built in a day. Life in the end is all about processes and most times, for a process to appear as it should, we must be willing to be diligent, faithful, hardworking, and yet patient.

Till I come your way again, keep your eyes focused on God and know that with prayer, hard work and perseverance- this too shall become history!
Do have a lovely day. *hugs*





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Feminism In Christian Dating/Marriage Today- Yay Or Nay?

I know it's the 16th of July, but permit me to say happy new month to us all. This is because it's been a while on this platform with each other. How have we been? Well, I've been great but literally very busy for some reasons, perhaps the reason why I've missed posting articles for a number of weeks now. 

Before I go into today's topic, permit me to say a huge thank you to individuals that shared and promoted the last post shared on this platform on their social media platforms; the turn over was indeed huge: a million thanks to you all. If you are reading this and you would like to read the last article, you can find the link here.

So on to today's topic- Feminism in Christian marriages today- yay or nay? - what's your take on it? To start with, what is feminism? The English dictionary defines feminism as a "A social theory or political movement which argues that legal and social restrictions on women must be removed in order to bring about equality of the sexes in all aspects of public and private life." From the above definition, what can be said to be wrong with feminism?- I would say nothing. If nothing, why then this article?

Well, this article exists because feminism in some ways can be said to have deviated from it's core. Rather than effect changes in the society regarding laws and policies inhibiting women, it has in some ways turned into a platform whereby women instead of being advocated for as the definition suggests are being masculated. Feminism as it were has turned into different branches, even that that fights for rights that buries the sense of being feminine, advocating for masculinity instead. To this effect, I would like to talk about the act of giving and receiving in relations to dating/marriage. But then, to start with, let's have a look at what Ephesians 5:21- 33 says. it says- 

" Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband."

Thank you for reading the long sermon...lol. Now let's go into what I originally wrote before the introduction. Shall we? Here:

"The way God established humans, Men were made to give and women were made to receive. It is a natural law of nature. 

In as much as I do not accept unsolicited gifts from men, sometimes I wonder why I crave for it at times and when I receive it, it gives me great joy despite me being an independent woman who works every penny for what she spends. It was in the midst of all that that my mind for reasons beyond my control went to the book of Ephesians 5:21-33.

Then I realized that that was the way women were made. Nothing is wrong with me when in some ways I desire care from the man in my life. I discovered that from the passage, women were made to be loved and cherished by their husbands. God so made the world in a balanced way such that He primarily made the man the giver of gifts, and the woman, the receiver of gifts. So dear woman, in as much as you’ve strove and worked hard to be so independent, nothing is wrong with you when you look up to your spouse for care and attention. Do not allow the world’s standard of feminism rob you of who you are and as a result, make you a man instead of the woman you were made to be.

I must confess that understanding this principle has really helped me to balance well and receive all the care my future husband would have to give me without feeling less than I am, or weak in any way. And times when for some reasons (or even no reason at all) I crave for his future care and attention, I will do it so much with dignity and joy, and not timidity or inferiority as the world to an extent is now making it appear. 

The paradox of this however is the fact that men in some ways and for a long time have come to know this secret of creation.  As a result, they lure women into them through the means of baits; baits to portray they care and the woman out of simply being a woman falls into the trap and deeds are done. 

By nature, gifts or acts of care are grounds through which bonding can occur between a man and a woman because the acts as it were balances each other. As a result, it’s only natural for a woman to feel close in some ways to the man she constantly accepts gifts from.

In as much as gifts in themselves are not bad, because of the vulnerability they bring majority of the time, we must be careful as ladies who we receive gifts from. Men by their nature to provide will always give, and we women by our nature to be cherished and loved after would always want to receive, but because of the abuse that has set in via this nature of ours exposed fully to men, we must be very careful about how and who we accept gifts from to avoid ‘stories that touches the heart’ afterwards. 

In all, be open as a lady to receive gifts from your man without any form of being weak or unnecessarily offended due to the inhumane feminist laws and rules flying about. Allow your man to always be your man and avoid the temptation of either stepping into his shoes through absolute independence, or blocking his natural flow with the strength you manage to summon up in the bid to be masculine. Be vulnerable with your man and allow him take great care of you every power and chance he can. But then, on the flip side, we as ladies should be careful who we allow pour that care into our life because for some reasons, our lives will feel bonded to that man such that we will always be willing to submit to him based on what he brings to the table, including submitting our precious body to him. Let’s learn to work with balance for balance they say is the fulcrum life is built upon. This is because when a man gives as commanded, he expects submission in return. And times when submission is not seen in closest sight, he may do so much as to use force to get the submission he wants, including raping if possible to have his way. So ladies, enjoy your man and be careful about all other men. Selah."

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Dating Advice For When You Meet Someone New

Some weeks ago, we had an interview session on the blog and to a large extent, it served as a great eye opener to issues like marriage, relationship, destiny, parenting and all. This week, this blog being a blog that is all about sharing and helping one another through life’s journey, it is my pleasure to bring to you a few of the things I’ve learnt over time as a result of dating; especially the mistakes I have made that I have learnt from and need not make again. Why would I want to extend these lessons to you despite the personal attachment I have to them? Because this blog (as said earlier) is all about sharing and learning. I learn from you through the comments and mails sent, and you perhaps learn from me through the blog posts posted from time to time.

Before I go ahead to share the lessons, I would like to say that the lessons are meant to serve as a guide and a form of help should you find yourself in a similar situation, but then, it is advised that the tips be mixed with intuition so as to holistically personalize it to your situation; so you can get maximum and intended results. So what are these tips? For time and space sake, I guess I would give just three, so- Here:  

1.       Pace Yourself

What do I mean by pacing oneself? I mean it in the way of saying- do not be too carried away by the new wave. So you meet this guy, he meets your fancy and immediately you kick it up, talking for hours and hours on the phone. Well, the issue here is not talking for hours and hours, the issue is minding the things you say as you talk for hours because this ‘relationship’ is still new and there is still a little idea where it could lead to even though in your mind you think it’s that one relationship you’ve been waiting for and it is no doubt leading to marriage. Well, dear Miss, permit me to say you are not God (of which you are not), only God knows the beginning to the end and at that, knows what and what would lead to desired ends in your life.

What happens when you say too much too soon? You might actually be giving the guy too much to handle, and as a result, the ‘relationship’ might be jeopardized when the guy retrieves into his ‘men corner’ to think. During the time he retrieves, he as a matter of fact might stop calling and texting which as a lady might send a lot of wrong signals into your brain. You begin to feel rejected, perhaps dejected and to an extent- used.

When you have those talks that lasts for hours at the initial stage, it’s better it’s full of general talks, and not too deep personal talks because in the case the relationship does not work out, you might feel a bit violated, vulnerable and betrayed. And this as a matter of fact might cause you to be cold to the next person that comes your way thinking he too would do the same and ‘run away’.

Pace yourself for the personal talks so you don’t end up revealing too much in a very short space. It’s like giving a hungry man a full and filling meal, for him to take another meal, he has to digest the one he has eaten first and to digest the meal, a deal of time would be needed which would make him reject every other meal you try to give him out of your innocent intention of being a great host.

Be a smart lady, and to a possible extent, try to be the one in control of the conversation pace. Don’t be unduly carried away by the emotion and euphoria of meeting someone new and the possibility of what it could lead to. Allow things to happen gradually. Instead of impulsive outbursts, allow things to unfold at reasonable paces.

2.       Control your emotions

It is often said that when at the brink of a new relationship, men come to the table logical, women come emotional. In as much as to an extent we as women are emotional beings, it will be helpful to know when to control our emotions so we can see in a way that is clear and not so full of sentiments. There is no doubt a level of euphoria gotten when we meet someone new, especially someone we think might be ‘the one’ at last(!), but then, a major sign of maturity as humans (male or female) is how much we can control our emotions in the face of impulsive outbursts. We must not allow our emotions dictate for us. We must be willing for nature to take its course without trying to force anything. Now, this might be an area I have a problem with and still working on. Not that I am emotional, as a matter of fact, I am so logical, logical to the point that it sometimes scares me, but then the issue lies in the fact that in the midst of my logical sense and permutation, I do not fully allow patience to take its full course. I always want to know the end from the onset which sometimes might not be feasible. And in the bid to quickly know the end, I make so many mistakes and most of the time find myself back to square one.

In essence, I would say- control your emotions as well as your logic. Calm down and prayerfully allow nature to take its course instead of you trying to control somewhat prematurely the outcome. Relax, pray, do your reasonable part and have a firm trust in God to perfect everything in His time.

3.       The last one would be Independence

Never let yourself go because you found a man. Never allow all your happiness to revolve all around him to the point that you neglect all the things you used to do and make him your sole focus. Never forego the frequent company of your friends and the things that matters to you because you found someone you think is the one. Learn to live, and actually master a balanced life. Learn to gain your spice from everywhere, not just a source. Don’t literally sit by the phone all day waiting for him to call or text, have a life regardless of the emotions that seems to have emanated from the perceived new beginning. That is why to a great extent, self-control should always be our best friend in everything we do, both in our relationships and in our careers. Thankfully I learnt the basics of this some years back, but even with that, I guess it is a habit that one has to constantly hone because the hype derived from new dates/relationships varies from time to time.

To end this post, it’ll be good to bear in mind that I am not giving all these advice because I got them right, I’m giving them because I got them wrong and having learnt from the mistakes, would not want you to make the same when you find yourself in such circumstances.

 Till I come your way again, I remain your friend, blog host, life’s student and sharer. Do enjoy your day.

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What’s the time please?

This is a question we ask people when at times we go out casually and as a result fail to take our wristwatches or at best- our phones, or perhaps in reverse the question people ask us when they fail to do the same. The time as at the hour of writing this article is 12:16pm, but then let’s assume instead of writing, I am reading (say in San Francisco USA) and you are reading as well at the same time (say in Baltimore USA) and through some means I ask you- “what’s the time please?”- Which time are you most likely to give?- Your own time right? Omitting the fact that we are not in the same location even though we are in the USA together, and the fact that we probably do not know ourselves that much to know.  

Time is of huge essence on the face of the earth. But then, not only on the face of the earth but also to God, being the Holder and Director of time itself. This we can see in many instances in the Bible, but most especially in Ecclesiastes 3 where times and seasons were spelt out. The organized thing about God is the fact that He has everyone’s time under control. And majority of the time, He has different timings for everyone, our ages notwithstanding.

A look at John the Baptist’s life, it could be seen that he began his ministry very early in life due to the peculiarity of the assignment he was given. But then, come to think of it, Jesus and John the Baptist were relatives, and in some ways, a word had gone ahead of them both even before their birth. John’s prophecies never really took long before it started manifesting, unlike Jesus who started His ministry at a much later age of 30- the time where John’s ministry had already gotten prominence and everybody had known him all around the town. What if they never got to know about the word that had gone ahead of them and they were either angry or jealous of each other owing to comparison and the fact that they were just months apart? Besides, remember the start of Jesus' ministry led to the decrease of John the Baptist's? ("...He must increase and I must decrease- John 3:30...") That's why as an individual, it is critical to understand not only your purpose, but also your place in life.

When it comes to timing and destiny, comparison no matter the seeming proximity of the person you are comparing with is of no use, because in the end, God has different plans, and at that- different timings for everybody under the sun. Your time is different from my time, and my time is different from yours no matter the yardstick people watching seem to use. A look at Paul, he started his ministry few years after he was saved, meanwhile, Jesus Christ Himself whom he served all his Christian life even though He knew about His ministry quite early, didn’t start until the age of 30. How about the likes of David, Joseph whose dreams in some ways were put in their hearts at teenagers but never got to reach their potential till the age of 30? Or even Moses who never began till the age of 80 despite the peculiarity of his birth?

In other words, when it comes to matters of destiny, if you ask your neighbour or your friend- “what is the time please?” you are most likely to get a very wrong answer because in the Kingdom, we might seem to live in the same geographical area so to say, but with different business (assignment) dealings.  Literally in the kingdom and based on assignments, you might be in Nigeria and have a New Zealand wristwatch and it’s working for you despite being 11hours ahead; your neighbour living in Nigeria as well but with a Nigerian time might miss it when he asks you the time and you tell him what the time on your own watch says. You might cause him to miss his flight in the sense that, his flight is still 11hours early, but because of the time you told him, he is down casted and rushing, thinking he has missed his time; whereas in actual sense, all he needed to do was relax and get occupied because his flight was still 11hours ahead. You get my gist now?

So in life, and in whatsoever you do, learn to seek God’s timing, never human timing. Remember His ways are not our ways, neither are His thoughts our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Do have a great day.

N.B: In case you missed the powerful interview SWB had last week with Dr Samuel Ekundayo, you might want to check it out here; perhaps the interview I had with him is why New Zealand formed a part of my ‘sermon’ today, it was that powerful. Read it, enjoy it, and have a great day.

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An Interview With Preacher, Author and Speaker: Dr Samuel Ekundayo- A Straight From The Heart Talk About Purpose And Marriage

Happy new month people, welcome to the month of May. May this month bring great tidings to us all in Jesus name.

Today on the blog, I have a good news. I will be sharing a full and insightful interview had with the very Dr Samuel Ekundayo. Dr Samuel Ekundayo is an Author, Speaker, Preacher and a prolific Thought Leader. With a Ph.D. in Business Information Systems, he lectures full time in one of New Zealand's higher institutions as an IT lecturer. As a purpose teacher, he holds series of seminars and trainings, one of which is the famous few minutes ‘motivitality’ series frequently posted on his social media handles.

Why am I excited about him being on the blog? I am excited because his words aside from being full of wisdom and reality, contains insights for humans in literally every phase of life: Insights for teenagers, singles, married, parents and most importantly, his words addresses the sole reason why we are here on earth- purpose.

Without further ado, kindly sit back and relax as I bring to you- the wisdom packed interview had in the course of the previous month with Dr. Samuel Ekundayo. Enjoy.

SWB: A very good morning to you. It’s such a great privilege and honor to have you here.

DSE: The pleasure is mine and thank you so much for the privilege of featuring on your blog. 

SWB: Can our readers meet you please?

DSE: My name is Dr Samuel Ekundayo, popular called “The Purpose Preacher”. I am an author, preacher, thought leader and motivational speaker. The Mandate of God on my life is to help people discover God’s purpose for their lives so they can maximize their potentials on earth and be who they were born to be. I am also a full time academic and researcher.

SWB: How was growing up like for you?

DSE: Growing up was not easy but God was good to us. My parents could not afford most things but miraculously, at every point of need, God would show up for us. I remember there was a time things were really difficult for my family and my parents had to resolve to farming in order for us to survive. I am not talking about mechanized farming here. I mean the typical petty farming to eat daily. Life was tough and challenging but that was only a season. God brought us through all that.

SWB: At what point did you know what/who you wanted to do/be in life?

I believe that was at the age of 14. I just knew I enjoyed speaking and preaching and would always teach my mates in class. 

SWB: What triggered your dream? 

DSE: At that age, I started to discover my love for teaching so I decided I was going to become a professor. Since then I would call myself Le Dynamique Professeur (The Dynamic Professor) or “Professor Smart” and my friends would call me that too. Some of my friends still call me that till date.

Moreover, thank God for godly parents, since I was young, every day, my parents would play the VHS of ministers of God like Reinhard Bonnke, R W Schambach, Billy Graham, etc. They soon became my favourite thing to watch. Also, my Dad got me books like “I saw Heaven” by Roberts Liardon when I was 8. He really wanted me to see heaven too, like Robert. I didn’t see heaven but I met Jesus as that was the same year I gave my life to Christ – November 30, 1993.

SWB: What were the things you wished you knew earlier about life, and what advice would you give to the upcoming generation?

DSE: I was blessed to know quite early what I wanted out of life and where I was going. However, at the time, I was not aware of the principles and values to get me there. I was just hoping for miracles instead of learning principles. See, the way God designed life, principles are what sustains miracles. If you don’t learn the principles required for your life, miracles would soon cease and you would be left wandering – just as Manna ceased in the wilderness. I was blessed to have loads of miracles help me through but as things got tougher, I knew I needed to get tough too. I needed to learn the principles to sustain the miracles in my life in order to get to where God’s taking me.

SWB: I read in your bio how a stranger from literally nowhere paid for your school fees. What effect did that have on you? And what can you tell readers out there full of dream but stuck on funds?

DSE: ARGH! If you get me started on this one, I tell you, we would not leave here. So, let me try my best to keep it short. The Bible says the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Every time in the scriptures, God is fond us showing the destination to His people and not really showing the how they will get there because He reveals every step in the journey as we honour and please Him by trusting Him and obeying Him. 

On the journey to where I am today, one thing I have learned is, don’t wait for provision before embarking on your vision! If I was talking, I would have said that again to re-emphasize the point! Don’t let the lack of the provision you can’t see hinder the vision you can see. When you are sure you are headed in the right direction, when it appears you don’t have the resources, just trust God and keep moving. 

That’s the story of my life. Not once, not twice, God has used strangers to pay for my school fees. I am not talking about $1000 here. I mean someone writing a cheque of $15,000 at once! Not a loan! That day, in our house we were so in awe of God, we were all just rolling on the floor. It was at the brink of my dreams dying – the school was about to dismiss me and immigration were about to ask me to leave the country and God showed up. 

Hello there, are you reading this and you have a vision but you don’t have provision yet, two words – “KEEP MOVING”! Don’t let that stop you. I better stop here. I can preach a whole series on this topic because I have seen God at work personally on it.

SWB: What has been the greatest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far?

DSE: There has been several obstacles in my life and all of them had taught me big things and deepened my knowledge of God and my relationship with Him. However, I think one really stood out and it was when I was some months into my PhD programme and the supervisors I had then started to doubt my ability to complete the PhD. In fact, they literally recommended that I be terminated from the course and that actually happened but God made a way because He is the way! Story for another day. 

SWB: There are certain days in human history that marks turn around in some ways, or perhaps some days something dawns on us more clearly due to an experience or a word heard- what is (are) the day(s) you will never forget and why?

A day I will never forget in my life was the day I first of all set my eyes on my wife (then, girlfriend). We met online in 2007 and started dating officially in 2008 but didn’t get to see each other until 2010 because we could not afford it. I was living in New Zealand and she was in Nigeria. Things were tough and tight then. It looked like an impossible relationship but God turned things around for us. Today, we’re married, living together in harmony with two wonderful boys. Ours is a story of God’s mercy.

SWB: What always reminds you of God’s Faithfulness and gives you the zeal to go on even in the midst of contradictory situations?

This question can start another sermon series oh. But I believe it’s looking back at how every time I struggled to pay my many school fees for my various degrees and God would just show up. I remember in my final year of PhD, I could not afford my fees; my parents could not help either. It was like my dream was going to crash. All of a sudden, my supervisor decided to make an exceptional case for me with the Faculty board of the school and a scholarship that was never on offer was granted to me. I just got to my office one morning to find an email in my inbox saying “Congratulations you have been awarded a scholarship…” This God is a faithful God.

SWB: What advice would you give someone trying to hold on in the midst of chaos all around? Would you like to use any personal story to encourage such person?

DSE: I believe I have shared so many personal stories already. To that person, hang in there. Whatever trials and tribulations you are facing now is only a season. One scripture in the Bible I love so much is 2 Corinthians 4:17 - For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory”. What you are going through cannot be compared to             where you are going to. Hang in there. God is working things out for you. Your darkest hour is the      start of the dawn of a new day for you.

SWB: What’s your take on mentorship?

DSE: My definition? I believe everyone should have at least a mentor – people you look up to, learn from and are accountable to. I have a few mentors in my life and they’re massively instrumental to where I am today by the grace of God.

SWB: How does who we are affect who we become at the end of the day?

DSE: The concept of identity is a very important one because without any idea of who you are, you are likely to lose the notion of God’s purpose for you. But when your identity is clear in God, you realise you were made for His purpose. Thus, you acknowledge Him in your life and everything you do and become gives glory to His name.

SWB: Greatness involves learning and unlearning things, what were the things you had to unlearn in the course of your journey, and also the things you had to learn? 

DSE:  Wow! Your questions are so deep, they are making me dig deep. One thing I had to unlearn late in my teenage years is becoming me! I had watched several men of God and people that

I was always wanting to become like someone. At first, I wanted to be like my Dad and then, I wanted to be Reinhard Bonnke and several other people like that until God opened my eyes to who He has called me to be and I began to see the authenticity of my identity and purpose in God. That changed my life!

SWB: Many people reading this may have been wondering- how do I discover purpose, what would you tell such people?

DSE: I have read tonnes of books on purpose and several advice exist on this subject but really, the surest way to finding your purpose without any trial and error is to go to God in prayer and ask Him to reveal to you why He created you. Purpose is the intent in the heart and mind of the creator of a thing. This means, the author of purpose is the creator. Only God can truly reveal His purpose for our lives to us. 

Having said that, practically, there are some things that are cues to our purpose and those things are our gifts and passion. According to Ephesians 4:7, all of us have been designed with a special gift. If we locate this gift, we would function at an extraordinary and supernatural capacity that will not only shock us but people around us and the entire world. You will discover this particular gift comes with an endless passion that gives you energy and sets you apart. It is important to stress here that, it is not everything you are passionate about or have passion for that is in line with your purpose. If you doubt me, go and watch American Idol and see many people carry the microphone to sing and you wonder how they got there. LOL

SWB: I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer some few days ago and she said at some points in her life, she thought she had no talent as she couldn’t sing, couldn’t sow, tend a garden or do anything that was considered a talent…. until she discovered that she has a mouth! I am a firm believer of God giving everyone at least a talent, but then, some talents are more obvious to the eyes and easy to discover than others, what would you tell people who think they have no talent, but seek purpose?

DSE: As I said earlier, every one of us have been given a special gift. The fact that you think you don’t have anything special does not mean you are right. In fact, I know you are wrong! There is something about you. On a practical level, I have created a purpose worksheet for people with this sort of belief. So, if you are reading this and you are interested, reach out to me and I will email you a copy.

SWB: Now moving on to marriage- You are married to -a treasure-  as you fondly call her, what has it been like doing life with her?

DSE: I actually call her my Treasure and Dudushewa. Doing life with her has been nothing short of amazing. I am not saying we do not have our struggle days; we do but overall, our alignment in terms of God’s purpose for our lives, principles, values and love for God trumps all those. 

I can confidently say I am glad I married her. She plays a huge role in shaping me to become the masterpiece God has in mind for me.

SWB: How has marrying your wife assisted you in the process of destiny? What advice would you give to a man full of dreams contemplating marriage about choosing a spouse?

DSE: It is one thing to marry a child of God, it is another thing to marry a purposeful and purpose-driven child of God. I believe one of the things I enjoy is that I married a woman that is purpose driven. It helps my ministry and my life and not just mine, hers too. We grow each other. We push each other to become the best version of ourselves.

So my advice to anyone reading this is make sure the person you intend marrying is going in the same direction as you. Don’t be carried away by chemistry and biology. Make sure your purpose aligns – it makes for a beautiful and glorious home.

SWB: Were there any myths you went into marriage with? If yes, how did marriage straighten you up by presenting you with actual reality?

DSE: HAHAHA. Daddy in the parlour watching film, Mummy in the kitchen cooking rice. I thank God for my parents and the way they brought me up to be very useful in the kitchen and to love cleaning. I discovered in marriage (especially away from home – Nigeria), Daddy cannot always be in the parlour watching film o. Daddy should be able to clean, do dishes and cook very well. Lol. Reality is, I do that so well more than I thought I’d be doing lol. Don’t ask how much o…

SWB: What place does marriage play in our destinies? How serious should we take marriage when considering marriage, especially as someone with a calling on his/her life?

DSE: As I have explained earlier, marriage can make or mar your destiny. Some people think marriage is just for procreation; it is actually the life that culminates life itself. If you miss it in marriage, the scar may never heal and if it does, it remains visible. If you have a calling of God on your life, as a man, the woman to marry must understand that calling and know her role as helpmeet for the calling. As a woman, the man’s vision must align with where God is taking you, otherwise you will be on your own! Amos 3:3 comes to mind, “can two walk together except they be agreed?” Notice agreed is past tense? It’s talking about destinies and purpose alignment. It is not just agreement by mouth.

SWB: Moving on to parenting- you are a father to two lovely boys, how would you advise parents to raise their children? - Especially in such a way that helps them discover purpose early in life?

DSE: Raising children intentionally and consciously is still something I am learning as well. Looking at them as mighty men of valour (I say this because I only have boys). Watching to see the special and unique gifts God has given them and spotting them early in order to help them nurture it. There are somethings we have noticed in our kids and we have made some investments in that direction to help them develop in that area. 

Also, special attention must be given to helping the child know who God is. That helps their self-esteem too and their confidence. 

SWB: What should parents pay attention to in raising their children?

DSE: I think I have answered that earlier.

SWB: What is the role of relationships in destiny?

DSE: Relationships and destiny are so intertwined that they are inseparable. Every man or woman in the scripture had one person at least that was their helper of destiny (e.g. Joseph, David) or someone that had to be cut out of their lives in order for them to reach their destinies (e.g. Abraham). Or people who relationships actually destroyed their lives (e.g. Samson, Demas). 

There is a prayer my parents taught me to pray and it is that “Lord, connect me with helpers of my destiny”. Powerful and profound prayer.

SWB: All said, life is about finding and creating a balance in everything we do, how do you unwind?

DSE: I play soccer a lot! I also read books (does this count as unwinding?). I play video games sometimes. I play the keyboard and love to sing. I fancy a good game of monopoly. I also love all things graphics from playing with Photoshop and doing some website coding here and there. I love me some photography and videography too. Let’s stop here before I start to look some kind of way hahaa. 

SWB: What’s your favorite verse of the Bible?

Psalms 16:8 – Since age 8!

SWB: What is your favourite book?

DSE: 1 Samuel – because my favourite character in the Bible is David!

SWB: You are a pastor, a lecturer, a writer, as well as a speaker, how do you balance all you do with being a husband and a father? 

DSE: Sincerely, this is an art o. It’s not easy but I manage. I have had to read about how to do this well and I think some of the things I am finding out helps. I guess in a nutshell, one has to be conscious and intentional about these various roles and plan ones time very well to ensure none of them suffers and one still excels in the end. Nonetheless, focus is key! In each of these roles, I have learned to focus on what is most important.

SWB: What would be your advice for singles- men and women alike- waiting for their life partners?

DSE: Don’t rush! Don’t fear. Let God guide you. Forget the hourglass shape or the tall, dark and handsome, choose a man or woman who genuinely loves God and understand God’s calling on his or her life first over other qualities.

SWB: What would you advise as the signs to watch out for in your partner as a single considering marriage?

DSE: Accountability to God and to people. If the person is not accountable to God, this is a No-No! If they have no relationship with God, don’t even go there. They will lead you astray. 

Also, if they have no one in their lives who can call them to order or someone they ‘fear’ or listen to, don’t even have coffee with them talk less of going on a date. They will never respect you, your parents and your entire family put together. 

Watch out for how they love and serve others! Anyone that does not genuinely love and serve others, will never genuinely love and serve you. 

SWB: Your foremost slogan is – live fully and die empty, how do we do that as humans?

DSE: Chai! I feel like you have done a thorough investigation into my life haha. I got that slogan from the late Dr Myles Munroe and I don’t stop saying it because it resonates with the mandate of God on my life and my personal resolution for my life. 

To live fully and die empty is to deliberately and intentionally making an impact in people lives daily with the gifts and talents God has given you. This brings fulfillment, individual significance, influence and most importantly, glory to God.

SWB: Before we go, If there was one word you would use to describe marriage, and another you would use to describe life, what would those two words be?

DSE: Marriage – Lifelong

          Life – Purpose

SWB: Any last word you would like to give?

DSE: What is a life without purpose? Nothing! Being alive without any idea why is living a meaningless life. Find why you were born and created today. Life is too short to live every day like a headless chicken, just running up and down with no clear direction. To find your purpose, you must connect to your maker. Only He knows why He created you. If you have no relationship with God or have fallen off the radar with Him, this is your opportunity to get back to Him. Accept Jesus into your life today.

SWB: Thank you so much for your time; it’s been a great joy having you here on this blog.

DSE: Thanks for having me. It’s such joy to be here too. I must say you drilled me oh!
SWB: Ha ha ha. But then, your answers too are take homes I would think about for a long time! So, tit for tat I guess...lol. Thank you once again for being here.

Dr Samuel Ekundayo can be reached on the following social handles

Facebook: Samuel Ekundayo (The Purpose Preacher)
Twitter: DrSamEkundayo
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Skype: dynamiqueprofesseur

Website: SamuelEkundayo.com