2018- What A Year!

If this happened to be a journal and I am to write all the things that happened to me in 2018, I would sure have been needing tons and tons of pages. This because a whole lot happened, including some exciting news I hope to share with you in 2019 God willing (which already makes me all giddy just on the mere thought/mention of it!) and obviously some not too good things which through Grace I’ve converted to lessons and wisdom.

But then, in the midst of all the great stuffs that happened, including the lessons that I have (invariably) learnt, one thing seems to ring and ring in my head- a question that fills me with much depth and at such, consumes my very being, and the question is- what do I have left?

This question I guess keeps ringing a bell because of the turbulence at some point it seems my year became filled with. I faced a number of things that made me feel I had nothing left, and at that- had no hope whatsoever. 2018- especially the mid/later part, things got so intense with me emotionally that it took only God’s Grace and the help and love of people around me to keep me grounded on my feet (that’s why in life, you can’t do without a team of awesome people around you).

But then, standing here as though on a mountain and looking back (down) at 2018 from the angle of reminiscence (despite the few days remaining), I realized that every single thing that happened to me was for a purpose- they served as the cements and stones mixed with my gravel to produce a solid foundation for which my life’s destiny would be based on. And now, with one hand on my chest and the other one raised to God (for the Grace He endowed me with during the phase), I can boldly say I know much better, even though there are of course more things to learn (as this is life and we never stop learning either through the books, people’s lives or experience itself).

I can boldly stand on the mountain top with frantic breeze of victory blowing through me and look happily at what I have left with a resolve to do all I can with it, heartily forgetting such things I have lost. As a result- focus I would say is one thing I have to bring into 2019, not as a new year resolution, but as an all-time life realization. 2018 has taught me to release the bad and press into the good to create something spectacular that would pass for brand new. Hence me focusing on that which I have left and can use, instead of that I do not possess again and have lost.

Speaking of what I have left, God tops my list (believe me, if in the midst of all that is lost you have God left, trust me- you have everything), an active breath and sound mind, the willingness to work amidst many other things - which already is enough, even more than enough, to start/work with.

So my question to you as echoed all through this straight from the heart piece is- what do you have left? Whatever those things are (or that thing as the case may be is)- Give the praise to God and match valiantly into 2019 with it. Match in with your health, your breath, your great friends gained, your skills discovered (or remaining as the case may be), and much more. Walk in gallantly like a soldier who has fought many great wars and won and is returning home- and welcome the new year with such joy, hope and expectancy, especially such that puts both your remnant and resolve to work.

Much love and Happy New Year in advance.

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Making The World A Better Place (Sequel)

Continuing from where we stopped last week- talking about the world being in cycle and we needing ourselves in many ways not only to survive but to ensure the existence of great virtues by making what goes around come around so to say.  The world becoming the great place we imagine it to be is a function of us all expressing our gifts and talents in ways and mediums we know how best.  

The world would indeed be better if we seek not to consume alone, but also create, If we choose not to take alone, but also give; children in desert areas would have been taken care of through both acts of kindness and more efficient means of technology. Our love for comfort zones and perhaps excessive pleasure explains why not just us are the way we are, but also why the world is still the way it is and those precious kids are still where they are- somewhere in the helpless desert hurt and sickly. Some vaccines as well would have been discovered to combat some more diseases effectively, but alas, we all are caught up in the hustle and bustles of life as it were. Perhaps the one that is meant to have been the inventor of that the world needs so desperately is stuck somewhere in his comfort zone with an oil job, or perhaps that of a bank and is unwilling to follow his ordained path despite the daily nudgings of his heart and the willingness of his intuition to serve as a basic guide along the way.

The ‘risk’ we take to be who we should be not only affects us, but also those around us we know now or for some reasons do not know yet. One thing that strikes me about Mo Abudu’s story is her willingness to leave the familiar for the unfamiliar. She left an oil job(!), first to face her own HR company which is perhaps commendable, but then to go into the world of media which she has never been!- that my friend, is highly commendable. Who does that? I must have imagined what would have played in her head- the fear of being in a brand-new terrain, fear of starting from the scratch, fear of ‘what if I fail’ and the likes, but in some ways, her persistence paid off and now, we have someone from Africa taking Africa to the world and changing the sickly narrative foreign media tells about Africa. Not only that, we also have someone making African movies stand tall on the world’s shelf with admiration and bewilderment.

One way to find our place on the face of the earth is to pay attention to the things that hurts us as well as the things that it’s absence always makes us cry on the inside. Paying attention to ourselves and our state of mind per time can point us to our primary area of calling. That way, compassion instead of sole pleasure or hanging on to survival mode can rule and guide our decisions and we would find ourselves caring for people through the pursuits of our inventions and the services we have to give to the world. Besides, the ‘more’ we seek that sometimes makes us stay put in our comfort zone can always be found in following our dreams. Over time, being in the fullness of our dream would always find us living the life we desire. Yes, the beginning might be rough, but with the fullness of it comes the life we want, as well as the world the world would have desired through us. In essence, following through with our dream is a two-way street: it benefits us and the world at large.

Oprah Winfrey with some of the 'girls' she trains in her academy

The world being a whole big puzzle, God sends us down piece by piece, bit by bit such that as we do our part as sent, the world becomes a better place. If everyone sent to the world actually fulfills their quota, we all would be in a better place and space. The resultant effect of the world not being what it was created to be is not farfetched from the choices we make as individuals. This is because we all get to the earth and over time, something else takes our priority. Instead of being consumed in that that burns beautifully on the inside of us, we either seek hard after pleasure or compare ourselves to one another such that makes us lose the fervor of going after our own dreams and becoming that which we were meant to be. We procrastinate as well, putting till tomorrow what we know we can do today thinking we have all the time in the world. We also become so concerned with self-preservation such as what to wear, what to drink and what to eat such that chokes away our dream and the urge/persistence to fight for it.

Our lives as humans usually unfolded in phases, the fear of new beginnings per time makes us stay put in our old phases (our comfort zones), relishing the success it has brought over time, and that we still think it would bring. We are often time afraid to step out into the new because we do not know what to expect, as well an overall view of the eventual phase. As a result, we acquiesce to life all we can till finally we wake up and we are eighty and retiring. We fail to know that if certainty is all we live for, our lives will never have a meaning, because at some points in life, we have to jump. We have to jump with all hope of being caught and times when we seem not caught, we have to be willing to start from where we are. Starting all over could be intimidating and challenging, but if well planned and followed as laid down by our intuition, we would find ourselves sooner enough soaring with wings as with eagles.

Food for thought: How would the world be like when instead of drunken and abusive fathers, we have inventors, heartfelt engineers and the likes, and in the place of Aso Ebi and excessive fun seeking mothers, we have doctors, lawyers, media gurus and the likes? The world would indeed be a better place if we all fall into our place and stop floating in places we are not wanted or we shouldn’t even be in the first place- work places we go in tears and never out of love, friends we have that holds us back but we keep for status reasons, etc.

Our children as a matter of fact would be safer because there would be no child molester or serial rapist because everybody someway somehow would be busy contributing their quotas positively to the world instead of devising evil means to hurt other people. How lovely would the world be if everybody were focused on their lives as though we had exams the next day? Everyone would not only be busy doing what they were called to do, but also have little time for frivolities. Well, someone might say the world would be boring if we all are to get busy, but then what if lack of self-fulfillment is what make people while away time finding what is not lost in the first place? I once heard someone say- “if you never find fulfillment within yourself as an individual, you will never find fulfilment in the things you do outside of yourself”. In other words, the highest form of fun would be the one we find within ourselves- the fun we find on the path to being who we are called to be. The wholeness destiny brings is fun on its own- think about it.  

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Why The World Is Not A Better Place (1)

Hey people. How are we doing? Hope good? Well, just in case you just asked or wondered, I am good too, thank you. It’s been a less busy week, thank God.

So, a while ago, I wrote an article with a perspective to why the world is not a better place as it were, and came up with a few fundamental reasons- with a trace to how things could have been if everything intended was followed. This article (that would be read by you in a jiffy) was meant to be submitted to one of the popular blogs I freelance for, but then I thought, why not this particular blog? Don’t my people deserve to read insightful articles like this? Hence my decision to post it here, instead of the other blog, as this right here is where home is- with you guys- my readers. Besides, I’m positive that I have a powerful group of intellectuals as readers, especially as suggested by the many feed backs I receive. So here, without further ado or much talking (which I guess I can do….lol), here we go- just as it was written initially:

“Imagine how the world would be like if we had more Bill Gates in the world with regards to his money? The world would be a better and happier place I guess. But then, why is the world as big as it is full of very few rich people who are really making impacts in their field and human life/standard of living in general? I guess there would be two reasons:

·         One- the people who were meant to explore the gifts and talents given to them are not using it

·         Two- A few people who have gotten rich has become so self-centered and self-focused.

Talking about the first reason, a question comes to mind- why are people not using the gifts and talents God gave them? Number one reason perhaps would have been laziness, but because it sounds kind of ‘judgy’, I would say that the number one reason is that people give up quite easily on their dreams in exchange for the comfort zone. We give up easily on our dreams because we fail to see sometimes the big picture; how our success will not only affect us, but also some kids somewhere helpless and waiting for a literal savior. Because truth be told, the Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) we do to give back to the society goes a long way. The child we sponsor in school, the community we give water and as a result have made their lives easier, even the orphanages we build and the children we take care of therein and the likes. But then if there is no money, and we on our own are struggling, how will we remember the children suffering and the helpless elderly handicapped in some ways not to talk of alleviating their needs? That’s why it’s important we all strive to make our dreams a reality, because it’s not only about us, but also about the innocent souls we do not know yet but are attached to us.

And sometimes, it’s not about money, it’s about the heart and willingness to pursue that dream in our heart. Why do I say it’s not always about money sometimes? There was this story I heard about the founder of the slum2school (Makoko kids). He had no direct money to take care of the kids; all he had was the heart and the direction of how to go about it. At the time he decided to take it up as a challenge, it seemed crazy because he himself was a National Youth Corps Member (Corper), having perhaps little. And perhaps the craziest thing was the fact that his passion and the direction he had at the time made him resign his youth Corper job in the bank he was with at the time- who does that? What Corper resigns with a bank literally? But he did anyway, and today, the whole thing is history. The kids are doing great and he is not doing bad either. So could it be that you are still at your comfort zone and the world is waiting for you to come take your place in the universe? Come to think about it- what is your comfort zone? Your job, your friends, your perceieved status; what exactly? Not saying one should resign or leave one’s job, but a thorough examination of one’s heart per time would always show us the way and the next thing to do. That’s why it’s always good to take time out to reflect and connect with our inner self (our intuition) per time. The more we connect with our intuition, the easier it is for it to lead us. Our intuition is our compass and would always point us to the right direction if only we take our time to explore it. And times when what we want to know seems higher than our intuition in terms of knowledge, it points us to God- the Source and Maker of all. 

Sometimes I wonder- what if the person who discovered electricity never did, what would have been the story of the world today? Yes, perhaps someone else would have, but him discovering it at the (perceieved) right time made everything easier. As a matter of fact, his discovery has become a major bedrock all other discoveries and modernizations we have today relies on today. Our modern phones perhaps would have failed to be in existence without his invention. In other words, we all have parts to play in the world for it to be a better place.

Food for thought: Imagine children in the slum who everyone seems to have given up upon going on to become inventors, medical doctors, artists etc all on your account? All because you picked them up and raised them, making sure something becomes of their lives instead of the nothing they have perhaps settled for due to seeming hopelessness and lack of direction? Or better still, Imagine the world that would become better because of your invention?

I once read that the cave we sometimes fear to enter the most holds our greatest treasure. What cave would you say holds your life’s assignment today? Especially such that you are afraid to enter? What is it today that you are holding back on? Remember that it’s not about you alone, but the world as well. We are connected more than we know; far beyond social media, with the success of one depending on that of another in some ways. Life is like a cycle, we all need ourselves to complete the cycle per time. We need to pass our kindness round so the world would be so full of kindness as opposed to the hurts and meanness it carries around today so to speak”.

To be continued.....

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Meghan Markle’s Patience- A Lesson For Ladies?

Hey guys! It’s another exciting edition from the stable of Soul Writer. How have we been? Well, if you ask me, I’ll say I’ve been quite busy. Not necessarily busy with work and running around as it were, but busy delving deep into life and trying to understand the meaning of life, especially my life as it were. For a while, my life has been like broken pieces of bottles scattered across the floor, so all I’ve been doing (and still doing) is picking up the pieces- such that I can gather- to see the whole it makes and what I can deduce of it. I’m at a point whereby I’m assembling my life and seeing what the pieces, the experiences, desires and passion over time can, and will lead me. Perhaps if chance permits, we can delve into this experience of mine as it is worth sharing. But then today, it is not about me, it is about a thought that flashed across my mind and I thought to share: about Meghan Markle- the Duchess of Sussex.

Meghan Markle- I believe she needs no introduction, but just incase some of us are just back from lonely journeys in the jungle and we need a lot of catching up (like I sometimes do), I would make it easier for us. Meghan Markle is a royal princess- an actress, gender activist in her own right turned princess. How did she turn a princess? Well, hers is not the Cinderella kind of story. No fairy godmother appeared to her, no fairy godmother gave her a dress to wear, and most especially- no fairy godmother gave her a pair of slippers that would end up getting lost and leading her to her prince charming from which she would become a princess: there was none of that. She became a princess because she met Prince Harry- a British royal, and she fitted perfectly into who he could have as a wife, especially one aside the fact that he fell in love with her, would survive the bureaucracy of being in the royal house, especially being a princess not by birth, but by marriage. In other word, my dear friend most likely fresh out from the jungle for good reasons- I would say Meghan Markle became a princess because she possessed the mental and intellectual capacity (and morals too I believe) prince Harry desired in a person that would be standing next to him the rest of his life in the royal courts, aside the love in his heart for her.

Ok, so why this topic? You ask. Meghan has been married before, but she divorced based on grounds known to her and perhaps her former husband. But then, perhaps the major reason for this article is the fact that she married at 36. When I heard the news of her pregnancy, some questions came to mind (perhaps because many like me may have been curious about her fertility status since she was married for a couple of years without an issue, despite being quite younger at the time, and the fact that considering her age, it might be assumed that some odds might try to work against her): I wondered why despite the ‘climbing’ of her age as it were, she never for once (at least not that we know of) opted to be a baby mama. This is because as one grows older and as a single person (lady in this case), one might be tempted with the idea of being a single parent- perhaps because you love kids and it warms your heart to see babies in their parents’ hands, not minding the responsibilities having babies naturally create or perhaps because as a lady, you are scared of the much talked about 'biological clock', especially with no worthy suitor in sight. And so I thought- why didn’t she opt to have a baby as done by her colleagues in the industry? Especially in an age where being a single parent (baby mama) is so much in vogue and unquestionable?

Literally, I would say, her patience in waiting till marriage to become a mother (despite her age) is not only commendable, but worth talking about (in my opinion). As a single lady myself, my humanity sometimes make the idea of being a single parent wear an attractive apparel in front of me, with a beautiful catwalk proclaimed nuns might find hard to refuse, but no- for my divinity: my Christian faith, and the fact that I do not see myself prepared as it were to accommodate a new life, whose life at least for the first 18 years of living would be dependently anchored to mine- I have turned a blind eye to the idea. But then, why wouldn’t an actress- secular, and buoyant enough to afford to have a child as it seemed not opt for one despite her increase in age year in year out? Her faith, belief, hope or perhaps a foretelling?

Permit me to digress a bit as I ask- what if she had had a child in her previous marriage? Would it have greatly reduced her chance of becoming a princess as as it were before she got married, she already had things such as age, race, nationality, profession and all stack against her. Would having a baby (or perhaps babies) have made it almost impossible? I wouldn’t say.

In bringing this article home, especially with questions and scenarios raised, I would like to say that as single ladies, waiting mothers, divorced ladies, God knows exactly where we are, and trust me, He has us in mind and at the right time- just when the timing is right, He would bring our desires across our way. Like I asked in the previous paragraph, what if Meghan had had a child, or perhaps children, would she have met her now husband? That I wouldn’t say, but perhaps she would have been somewhere doing mummy duties, and such free time that led her into the space and time she met and got engaged in conversations with her now husband wouldn’t have happened.

This is not to frown against those that are single parents. Life happens and we all know, and the great and mighty thing is that God is able to make all things work together for our good. A great and modern example of this would be Sarah Jakes Roberts- a lady (woman) I adore with the whole of me, given the calling of God upon her life, her story and the Grace showered on her, as it is being showered on us all in areas perhaps the world do not know about but is worthy as being seen as a testimony to the amazement of all.

To you my esteemed reader reading this, I would like you to know that for every seeming delay, there is always a blessing attached if we do not give up. Because in the end, God not only knows what He is doing; He is also never at loss regarding what we are facing. He knows the script He has written for our lives and when the time is right, He would bring the actors we so much desire (in the form of husbands, babies, meaningful friendships) into our lives. And for those with seemingly sad endings (divorce and all), He knows how to meaningfully bring back your life in shape, no matter how bad you think it has become.

So for now dear single lady- relax, pour yourself all you can into your craft, and enjoy life all you can doing the things you love knowing fully well that you are never forgotten by God, and He for sure has you in mind no matter how long it seems it has been. Like a Yoruba adage would say- ‘what is not enough, will in a matter of time become more than enough’.

Do all you can to hold your peace, and when it seems you can’t, surround yourself with people that can help you keep your calm, and most importantly if you ask me- surround yourself with the Love and constant knowledge of God knowing fully well that like a mother painstakingly cares for a child, He cares for you no matter the mistakes you have made in the past, or delay it seems you are facing.

Till I come your way next time- laugh, play and rejoice- knowing fully well that you are loved and remembered by the One who made you- God.

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