Marriage And The Decisions We Make

The stories I hear these days regarding marriage quite calls for concern, and in some ways- pity. I recently heard of a woman in her forties who just gave birth- not because she was ‘infertile’ as it were, but because life happened to her in the area of marriage. How do I mean?

I’d seen this woman carry a little baby in her hands, and having thought she had initially given birth to all her babies, I was a bit ‘startled’. Not until someone close told me her story. She had been married before, but then, just a few months after her initial wedding, her husband disappeared with no one knowing his whereabouts. No one knew if he was dead, alive, remarried, or anything; he just disappeared and have not been seen ever since, which from then till now has been quite a number of years. However, of recent, the woman remarried and gave birth to a child- her first child.

On hearing her story, I was so happy for her because to an extent, she held a miracle in her hands, especially considering that she was a bit advanced in age. Immediately, I looked back at the picture of her I saw when she passed by and I immediately could feel her joy, gratitude and happiness of being a mother. Though walking on the road when I saw her, she had carried the child so dear to her, and on her face, especially with my curiosity of the child in her hands being satisfied, I could feel the joy that must have formed in her soul when first, she got to know she was pregnant, and that no doubt that settled in her heart when she gave birth and for the first time held her baby in her hands. How about the happiness of finding a worthy mate after all the while of uncertainty, pain, doubt, endless waiting, and perhaps loneliness?

Also of recent is the story I read right on facebook- how the guy just got married- full of life and all, and barely a month afterwards, he died and left his poor new wife a widow.

All these and perhaps many more makes me wonder how we take the ‘no’ God gives us in the place of prayer when we seek His face on particular issues (especially issues we’ve formed great opinions of), and perhaps how inattentive we become to the nudges we feel inside of us concerning life issues, most especially such we cannot explain but feels not so good.

In as much as I realize this is life and things most of the time happen without a plan or form of control, I wonder if there are things we know but we still go ahead with because we do not fully understand the signs we know for sure are stop signs and reverberate deeply in our souls. What if the woman who got married and her husband left the house months after had a ‘stop’ sign prior to wedding? And perhaps the lady whose husband recently died had a little inclination to hold back a bit on the marriage but perhaps was too much in love and quite in a hurry to live happily ever after with the man she loves so much who until his death had such great personality and character too great for a ‘stop/hold on’ symbol? 

I’m merely talking in terms of marriage, but how about seemingly lucrative business deals that turns out bad? Friendships, networks that end in a dark, slippery and lonely road etc, that we embark on without adequate thoughts and listening? 

The world no doubt is getting crazier, things are happening faster than we can think or reason, we need to take our time to prayerfully make vital decisions in our lives, especially such that shows signals we do not fully understand despite the seeming greatness of the decision about to be made. More than ever, we need not only be (more) careful, but also, pray ceaselessly about all we do. Perilous times no doubt are here, and only God’s Grace and omniscient Wisdom can indeed bring us through. Proverbs 3:5-8.

Photo Credit: Google Photos

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