My Recent Experience Online

Wouldn’t it be just fine to write a brilliant article that won’t be all in your face as the writer? That’s sometimes what I wish I can write but for the values we share intimately on the blog: values such as openness, love, and honesty. So today, like always, I would be ‘speaking’ to myself, even as I try to ‘speak’ to us all.

Recently, I was going through some hurdles, as well as trying to make a major decision. I tried reading and asking people that have gone ahead some questions, which to some extent, helped me form a clearer opinion about the matter. But then, one thing kept reverberating- my mind kept going back to a particular story I read online more than a year ago. Then lo and behold, reading the article again, I felt so much peace and it did seem as though a burden was rolled off me, in addition to the conviction I got afterwards. This experience opened me up to the power of stories, especially such that exists in telling our own stories.

Being Nigerians (and as well Africans), I know sharing personal stories (especially that of our struggle) is not something that comes to us easily. But then, at this point, especially this age where the younger ones are growing with little help and guidance as it were, telling our stories the way they are could help. As parents, telling our kids life-truth about us would go a long way, and not just stories of “when I was your age, I used to be the first in the class” that puts nothing but pressure on the child. Most likely, the owner of the story I read would have no idea how much her story has helped me, especially how through its practicality, it has served as a form of guidance.

This no doubt is an issue I naturally wouldn’t have loved to bring up, because it spanks me as the author. I am more of a private person and I hate putting myself out there as it were. But then, this experience to an extent has given me a different perspective to life. We all are sojourners on this earth and no one person knows the entirety of the way. As a result, it would be good to learn from each other, especially from people who have gone ahead with proven track record. No doubt there are times we would be led outside of people’s experience, there are also times, like the one I just experienced, that we would be led by the experiences of our predecessors in life.

This is not to say we should put all of our lives out there. It is just to encourage us to put the bits out as we are led, especially the stories of our struggles and how we overcame. For all we know, the exact way we went about getting our deliverance might be someone else’ hope, encouragement and even deliverance in itself. 

Our stories can be shared through oral tellings, social media handles (so people can read and be inspired); as well as forms of interviews on radio, TV, magazines and prints. I guess the time has come for us all- both introverts and extroverts, to throw pieces of ourselves out there and hope it comes back to us as gratitude, for the lives that would be touched in the end (that sometimes we'll know nothing about).

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Between Movies And Real Life Happenings

Have you ever watched a movie without a conflict and loved it? Conflict in the sense that the hero of the movie had a straight journey and everything he/she was meant to achieve he/she achieved without any obstacle? If ever such movie exists, what would you do after watching it? (that’s even if the annoyance you feel allows you to watch it to the end, because you wonder- why make such a movie in the first place?).

Except for the advent of fantasy movies and science-fictions, movies majority of the time are similitude of the real life. Meaning- life was never meant to be easy. And in the face of all we go through that appears to make our journeys difficult and almost impossible, we must seek to conquer.

Basically, how do we conquer? By keeping our eyes on the end result, and holding on to all the faith we can muster; for it takes faith and firm believe (asides from factors such as hard work, diligence, smartness and all) to make it to the end of our journey and be victorious like the heroes/heroines we see in movies and fall in love with the idea of them.

At the end of our lives, if we do not give up, there would be people who would watch our lives like a movie and smile happily at the end of it, because they are happy we never gave up despite all. Our lives as well would serve as a means of hope to them, as well as give them the courage to face their lives and journeys head-on.  

No doubt, our best lives lies ahead of us, our toughest ones does too. As a result, winning becomes more of a choice than a destiny as it were. Our lives though already scripted, we'll have to choose, just like the actors, to fight our battles. Without the actors will and effort in the movie, the movie is nothing but a script; no life. Think about this.

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Perspective: Three Places To Invest In

As I sat down to write today’s piece, almost like never before, a word came into my heart with a bit of force- INVEST.

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking rather hard- first on how better to live my personal life, as well as impact my world; and secondly- how to enlarge my streams of income. Either way (impact or income), a major way to do this would be to invest, which is most likely one of the reasons the word- invest- resonated deeply with me.

Some hours ago without knowing what today’s topic would be, I’d jotted down a quote that came to my mind. It talked about investing in people as much as we invest in businesses. Because really, in the end, just like the book- Richest man in Babylon by George Clason admonishes: Humans are gold. What better way to invest than invest in gold?- a priceless one at that.

Oprah Winfrey and 'her girls' in South Africa. Source- Biography.com

Aside investing in people and actual businesses, I deem it fit for us to invest in ourselves as well. The sad (or perhaps happy) truth is that no matter how much we have invested in ourselves in times past, to move further in life, we would have to invest (in ourselves) again. When these moments come, one major question we might need to ask ourselves is- “what would it take me to get to the next level I want to get to?” Once we figure that out (sometimes on our own and other times with the help of our Maker- God), it is our job to invest such value that would get the job done into ourselves, just like an Engineer installs needful software into his computer per time for effectiveness sake.

Using Michelle Obama’s life as an example, we could see how her study of Law ‘landed’ her her passion (community building) in such capacity as her investment in herself (education) gave her; as well as how her investment in people (via courteousness, respect, warmth, believe in people etc) paid off during her husband’s campaign period and eventual time in office. The people she had met earlier in life without even knowing her husband would one day run for office became strong pillars for her husband’s campaign. The likes of Valerie Jarret, Susan Sher and then Melissa Winter and Katie McCormick Lelyveld in the later years; what if she had been rude to them one way or the other? Or in the case of Melissa and Katie, she had belittled them?

Without much ado in today’s piece, the charge to us all would be to take out time to invest in ourselves, as well as in people, even as we go about our daily jobs investing in businesses and opportunities as we see fit. For in the end, no one really knows tomorrow as to fully tell where each of these investments would land us. As a result, keep investing as you see fit, for sometimes- we never know.

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I Am Single And Lonely, What Can I Do?

Ipadeola happened to be a very brilliant lady. She was always on top of her class back when she was in school, always classy, respectful and deeply intellectual. She did always the right thing at the right time- a perfect kid any parent would ask for- a pride and a joy.

She happened to have a Christian background; as a result, everything she did was what was expected of a true Christian, including delaying sex for marriage despite being quite old in age. As a result of her moral standards and piety, she never dated a lot and the very few ones she ended up having didn’t end so great- because they were either always asking for sex, or too shallow in thoughts and ambition for her liking. She lived her life buried in books, Bible and her career- an online business she started 8years ago at age 25 and had grown to the point of her having not just a physical office, but a few staff working under her.

Things however took a brazen turn when she met Tunde. Tunde was every shade of awesome: caring, loving and highly lovable. He seemed like a perfect match; so much so that Ipadeola felt so divine meeting him. However, at the point they met, Ipadeola was close to depression, so much so that when they met, it was quite easy for Tunde to sweep her off her feet with his claim of love, care and (over the years learnt act of) affection.

One thing led to another, and on very fast lanes, they found themselves day in day out with their cloths off and always on the bed (or perhaps couch, kitchen, car- wherever it met them). Ipadeola broke her vows of keeping herself, but she was too happy to care, though occasionally when the sex happened, being someone who has always been so religious, she felt bouts of sadness and guilt, vowing never to have another moment again. But it’s only a matter of time before she comes running into Tunde, or Tunde on the other hand running to her.

Why did Ipadeola fall? One word- loneliness.

As a single person, especially an introverted one, one has to make sure one consciously mixes up and not end up being a recluse- first to avoid depression, and secondly- mistakes, especially those that we need not make because we know better. As a single person, don’t be too high up there to mix with people, and at the same time, a recluse.

Lest I forget, Ipadeola ended up becoming pregnant, and it was later discovered Tunde was happily married with two kids and his wife just happened to be in London for the short while she they were together. Her loneliness, Tunde’s warmth, care, constant affection and listening ears prior to the time they had sex blinded her and hurled her into naivety. Their initially rosy (undefined) relationship lasted for 2months. 

This is a charge to us all (myself inclusive)- single or married to watch what and who we entertain during our weak seasons, and also- to mix up, have friends so we don’t end up as recluse living in a dark world that just any light, especially an opaque light would attract. As a single person most especially- mix up, have friends, go for events, gatherings and not just conferences or places too formal and rigid. And when you go to places like that, make sure it’s to have fun and not necessarily to look for potential dates which can be a form of burden and make you not too free, for the fear of your ‘future spouse’ watching. Be free, and when it’s time to have fun, have fun from your soul, because it’s where the true liberation takes place. It is more than going out, it’s all about having all the fun when you go out.

Till I come your way next week Wednesday- I love you. #Hugs

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