Wednesday 4 September 2019

I Am Single And Lonely, What Can I Do?


Ipadeola happened to be a very brilliant lady. She was always on top of her class back when she was in school, always classy, respectful and deeply intellectual. She did always the right thing at the right time- a perfect kid any parent would ask for- a pride and a joy.

She happened to have a Christian background; as a result, everything she did was what was expected of a true Christian, including delaying sex for marriage despite being quite old in age. As a result of her moral standards and piety, she never dated a lot and the very few ones she ended up having didn’t end so great- because they were either always asking for sex, or too shallow in thoughts and ambition for her liking. She lived her life buried in books, Bible and her career- an online business she started 8years ago at age 25 and had grown to the point of her having not just a physical office, but a few staff working under her.
Things however took a brazen turn when she met Tunde. Tunde was every shade of awesome: caring, loving and highly lovable. He seemed like a perfect match; so much so that Ipadeola felt so divine meeting him. However, at the point they met, Ipadeola was close to depression, so much so that when they met, it was quite easy for Tunde to sweep her off her feet with his claim of love, care and (over the years learnt act of) affection.

One thing led to another, and on very fast lanes, they found themselves day in day out with their cloths off and always on the bed (or perhaps couch, kitchen, car- wherever it met them). Ipadeola broke her vows of keeping herself, but she was too happy to care, though occasionally when the sex happened, being someone who has always been so religious, she felt bouts of sadness and guilt, vowing never to have another moment again. But it’s only a matter of time before she comes running into Tunde, or Tunde on the other hand running to her.
Why did Ipadeola fall? One word- loneliness.

As a single person, especially an introverted one, one has to make sure one consciously mixes up and not end up being a recluse- first to avoid depression, and secondly- mistakes, especially those that we need not make because we know better. As a single person, don’t be too high up there to mix with people, and at the same time, a recluse.

Lest I forget, Ipadeola ended up becoming pregnant, and it was later discovered Tunde was happily married with two kids and his wife just happened to be in London for the short while she they were together. Her loneliness, Tunde’s warmth, care, constant affection and listening ears prior to the time they had sex blinded her and hurled her into naivety. Their initially rosy (undefined) relationship lasted for 2months. 

This is a charge to us all (myself inclusive)- single or married to watch what and who we entertain during our weak seasons, and also- to mix up, have friends so we don’t end up as recluse living in a dark world that just any light, especially an opaque light would attract. As a single person most especially- mix up, have friends, go for events, gatherings and not just conferences or places too formal and rigid. And when you go to places like that, make sure it’s to have fun and not necessarily to look for potential dates which can be a form of burden and make you not too free, for the fear of your ‘future spouse’ watching. Be free, and when it’s time to have fun, have fun from your soul, because it’s where the true liberation takes place. It is more than going out, it’s all about having all the fun when you go out.

Till I come your way next week Wednesday- I love you. #Hugs


Photo Credit: Google Image

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3 comments:

  1. This is very common with single ladies who are yet to find their purpose. It is normal that when one gets to a certain age there is the
    feeling of the need for a companion, at this point pursuit of purpose can be a way of distracting oneself from such basic needs.
    Ladies find out your purpose see to it everyday love yourself have fun like our blogger told us it would keep you from feeling lonely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the lady in this story already found her purpose and was quite good at it. She excelled at her career and ambition.
      Unless you term 'having a man' as a 'purpose'.
      Must being married and in a relationship be a woman's Life and End Spot?

      Delete
  2. Very true. Thank you our very own Emahertz. Indeed, finding one's purpose and loving oneself goes a great way, as well as knowing when to take a break from being alone and going out with friends and loved ones to have fun.
    Thank you Emahertz.

    ReplyDelete