What Makes A Marriage Work? Wealth Or Character?

 I had a very big wedding- literally my dream wedding. Present and past governors, as well as past and present government and private dignitaries were in attendance. The joy of the day filled me so much so that even though tired, I smiled to the camera at every single click.

However, the day was soon over, and the marriage was soon to start. The first few weeks were awesome. Private beaches, trips outside the country, beautiful hotels and sceneries and all. We settled into the marriage a month after all the travelling and sight seeing. For all I cared, I was the luckiest girl alive; for if money was taken away, what more could be the issue in a marriage? In addition to the great wealth was my wish of having a tall, dark and handsome human being, which I have as well, what more? Talking about the sex, I wouldn't trade the experiences with him for anything in the world; so I ask again- what else? 

Well, the awesome life I thought we had started melting in bits like wax on fire. It was first messages from his ex, and then every other girl. Then after a while, it moved to clubbing with his friends, him leaving the house without informing me prior of his travelling, and lots more.  Then suddenly, the money which I had held on to as a savior, and one of the major reasons I married him began to become so little in my eyes.  I suddenly realized it takes more than money and a great body to make a marriage work!

Yeah, I am married, and even amongst my friend, I am a celebrity in their midst, but then, am I happy? Every day, I go back to a big but empty house. He wouldn’t allow me to work or do anything else. All I was to be (like I was always), is to be his doll to his big parties, as well as his window of being categorized as a  ‘responsible’ man, by the virtue of him being married. I am also a ticket to his political aspiration, since now, the obstacle of being a bachelor has been removed.

I married into a trap. A man that knew what he wanted and played his card well. His money blinded me and I saw nothing else. I was also fascinated by the fact that I would be a friend to the rich and their wives, and my children as well would mix with their kids. But now, thinking back, I realized all that should never have been the focus. I should have focused on my career, as well as married the man whom I was dating before. Money indeed is a bait. And now I know that it takes loyalty, commitment, friendship, willingness on both sides and many other virtues to make marriage work. More than ever before, I have resorted to prayer. It is my only hope, as well as my only sanity. I had what I wanted (money and fame), but what I never bargained for was the boredom and suffocation that comes with it. As well as the disloyalty, being ignored on many occasions and being taken for granted.

Maybe now might actually be the time to settle and see what I really can do with my life. After all, my friends used to tell me I draw and paint beautifully well. I have all the time in the world, perhaps I can work towards an exhibition in a year’s time, while praying for my husband to become loyal, selfless, friendly, sensitive to my pains, and as well- empathetic. Till then, I shall try my best finding my true self and spend time praying as well. Thankfully, physical abuse is not one of the issues I have to deal with.

“Are you ok at least?” I asked Tinu after she told me what she was facing in her home. “I will be fine, thank you”. “You’ll always be in my prayers darling, and all shall be well by His Grace, ok?

Thank you, Tinu replied me. “I will look forward to seeing my story on your blog, so people, especially single people can know marriage is not always about money, even though to an extent, it might be helpful. I made my choice, and I am not looking for any pity party; just want to warn whoever I can, so they won’t fall into the mistake I made, taking money as the all in all without really checking for character, compatibility, and most especially- God’s leading”.

Photo Credit: blackmainstreet.net

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