Healing From a Hurt

I wanted to title this ‘healing from a sudden hurt’, but then, I realized that virtually all hurts are sudden. They are sudden either because we didn’t pay attention to the little clues we were seeing (mostly based on a solid trust developed for the individual that inflicted the hurt), or that we just didn’t see it coming at all.

Hurts are not funny at all, especially seeing they come from (supposed) friends. Little wonder king David was lamenting his hurt in Psalm 55:12-14, how someone very close to him had betrayed him. No one prays to be hurt, but hurts do happen anyway. So, how can we heal from hurts?

My very first way would be to feel the pain. What do I mean by this? Most times when we feel hurt, there is the feeling of our world crashing down. Some people block the pain to continue their normal life, as though the hurt/pain never happened, others take their time out to deal with the pain. I fall into the latter category.

Recently, the gravity of a hurt I secured sometimes last year became evident to me and for a minute, it was as though I was dreaming. The discovery was unbelievable (especially for the fact that I’d been trying to hide from the truth regarding the issue). The hurt hit me and a crash seemed inevitable. Knowing there was no escape from the pain, I allowed myself feel the pain. The more I allowed the pain in, the more hurtful and shocked I was, especially seeing the ‘quarters’ the hurt came from.

Being someone that learns in the process of grieving for a hurt, I went over all the chats I had with this person that hurt me, and as though scales were taken off my eyes, I began to see where the signs began coming in, but then, I was too trusting – such trust that makes you blind to every clue. I realized the moments I should have stepped up, and with the moments I stepped up, I realized the points I shouldn’t have apologized with some actions I took, all in the name of keeping peace. The more I went over the chat, the more hurt I felt, and as it were, the more stupid I felt for not paying attention to the clues and allowing myself to be played. [Lest I forget, journaling as well helps in relating pain (writing everything that happened, and why it got to you the way it did. More like thinking with the aid of a pen and paper. It helps you know why you are hurt, and sometimes the extent to which you are hurt). The journal serves as a form of therapy, even though quite a number of people would prefer to see a therapist in itself.]

However, there is a level of pain a human being can take, just like there is a level of sickness a doctor can handle on his own before surrendering himself to more capable hands to be taken care of, especially at points where surgery is needed. So, where do we take all our hurts to, especially after allowing ourselves to feel all the hurts and learn a chunk of the lesson while in the pain? I would say- you take it to someone higher and more capable of healing. You take it to God – the Maker of our hearts and emotions.

How do you take your pain to God? You take it to him in heartfelt conversations (prayer). You take it to Him in worship, and sometimes (or perhaps most times) – in messed up tears. This works a lot for me. When I take my pain to God, He opens my eyes to some dimensions that makes the case not as bad as I viewed it. He as well comforts me with His words by leading me to comforting scriptures in the Bible, dropping a phrase in my heart, leading me to a book to read, or by making people around me post scriptures that would mean a lot to me in the pain. Psalm 147:3 was a scripture I got with the latter method. As well, when I take my pain to God, someway somehow, I realize my focus shifts from the all-consuming pain, to the awesomeness and steadfastness of God. I see Him as the God who remains the same (as lovely as ever), despite the constant changing nature of the world.

All these may take a while, but these steps has immeasurably worked for me over and over. I hope this helps? How do you deal with your pain? One of these days, we should talk about ‘trust’. It seems to be the source of so many pains. We would talk about the best way to trust fellow human beings, especially considering what the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9, about the heart of man being desperately wicked. The wickedness of man I believe is the source of virtually all hurts, such hurts we fall into because of (blind) trust. As well, we would talk about how we ourselves will not be sources of pain to other people, knowing how bad betrayal hurts.

I hope you’ve blessed? Care to share your coping/healing mechanisms? Let’s meet in the comment session. Or would you rather write a whole article on it? My email is open for submissions. We are all in this (life) to learn. Learning from each other would go a long way to help our lives’ journey.

Till I come your way next week Wednesday, stay good and well. Much love.

N.B – Are you currently hurting, especially from a form of betrayal? Would like to recommend T.D Jakes book to you. It’s titled CRUSHING- GOD TURNS PRESSURE INTO POWER. Been reading it and it has really been helpful.

Photo Credit: thecoli.com

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