Why do we think life is a race? Because like it happens in races, we start life together with our mates, thinking we are headed towards the same destination, with a prize awaiting the individual who arrives first. This idea holds sway in primary school, secondary school, and sometimes university. When we leave university, we expect the same trend, only to realize after a long while that everyone’s life is peculiar. Some marry after university, some travel out of their countries of origin, others settle down to work, and so on.
The sad thing is that the society, even our parents speaks to us as though life is a race. ‘see your mates out there’, ‘see Tola, Iya Doyin’s daughter, you started together…”. Sometimes based on the comparison, we begin to feel bad, and not enough. However, liberation comes the moment we realize that life is not meant to be lived in packs, but in peculiarity. No doubt at some points, we might have moments of similarities, but that’s all about it. We return to our peculiarities per time.
Life, as I have come to discover is an experience for us all, no one has passed through this way before. No doubt we have people telling us what to do, giving us rules, and all, but sometimes, it works only for the writer, and a few people on a similar journey. Note - few in the last sentence might mean millions, considering the fact that there are billions of people on the earth. As a result, I would dare to say – life sometimes is a matter of trial and error. The only thing I would say has stood the test of time would be the written Word – the Bible. This is because things in this book has stood the test of time, and will keep standing (I say this not because I am a Christian, but for the fact that it is the only book in my opinion that have withstood centuries, and is still standing. It details things from the past, to the present, and then the future, and the lifestyle written therein is the truest and most rewardable life in the long run you can find). Another reason why this book has stood the test of time might be the fact that the book literally predates us as humans, especially some experiences therein.
If life is like I see it at the moment (an experience of trial and error to some varying degrees, as well as a journey full of ups and downs), how then do we find balance, and as well, see the beauty in the life we live, especially if it does not feel palatable at the moment?
My number one would be – count your blessings always. How do we count our blessings? Through retrospect, as well as gratitude. We appear thankless because we happen to be familiar with our life. Familiarity no doubt breeds contempt. One way to avoid the plague of familiarity with the life we live is to see our lives (the struggles notwithstanding) as a miracle. When I was much younger, I used to thank God for one thing – the fact that I have a mind, and I happen to be privy to every little thing that goes on in it. That for many years felt amazing for me (well, until adulthood crept in and stole the wonder of the thought from me as it were).
No doubt you feel things are not working in your favour as much as you desire, but then, come to think of it, you have several other things too. You have the breath of life (which is about the greatest symbol of hope a mortal being can have asides faith in God), and in most cases, you have a good health too. The combination of this (breath and good health) can make anything possible. What about moments of joy you’ve had on the course of your journey? As well as difficult issues you’ve been through that serves as a form of hope, and inspiration for the future?
If there is anything I miss about being in Wales, UK, it would be my nature tour per time. Being present in nature, especially such with serenity and beauty calms me down like nothing else I know. If you happen to be like me, going to a quiet and beautiful place would help focus your thought on the beauty and greatness of God, instead of the seeming complexity of your troubles.
These tips might feel simple, and somehow ‘cheesy’, but then, I hope it works for you. If it doesn’t, please find something else that would, especially for your sanity sake. As well, inasmuch as this happens to be my advice, if at all any relief, it will be good to know that I am not yet a pro on these things discussed. Having seen the stability it gives to my soul when practiced, I am learning to get a hold of it, in addition to making my mind fixed on heavenly things by engaging in spiritual activities such as reading the Bible, praying and worshipping. Life, as well as this experience, proves to be a journey for me.
I wish us all well.