Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (3)

Continuing from where we stopped the last time, here is something to think about:

Do you want God to surround you with nice people; especially people of the opposite sex who are married? If yes (but you are currently having affairs with them), why should He keep surrounding you with them when all you'll do is have affairs with them and derive your needs (emotional, financial, physical etc) from them as though they are your God?

The other side of the coin would be to ask yourself if you want to be surrounded by mean and insensitive men since all you do is sleep and entice the nice ones God has sent your way in some forms to make your walk in life more comfortable and easier. This I say not in a way to judge or condemn you, but to make you think quite deeper.

Till your prayers gets answered for a spouse (and even after), keep praying, keep waiting, keep working on you and be careful of the seeds you sow for your future bearing in mind that the law of sowing and reaping is real; just as it is real with planting and harvesting crops in the natural. Galatians 6:7. Be the kind of lady that other women’s husbands are safe with, just like you would love to have ladies around your future husband that he is safe with, and you can feel safe with too.

Conclusively, you might need to ask yourself some questions. Questions like how boring is my life? How lonely am I? How often do I need attention and how desperate am I for it? How often do I need someone to validate me and to what extent will I go to get it?

Finding answers to these questions will tell you what you need to fill your life so fun can be a part of your life (if it’s currently absent), because of a truth, loneliness and boredom as a single lady can expose you to such ideas. You can put your attention on doing the things you love, have friends you go out with per time or perhaps go out by yourself if you can and if it’ll ease the boredom and loneliness you feel in your life. Also, spoil yourself silly with the little you have, especially if gift as a lady is one of your love languages. Pay more attention to yourself care-wise if you have not been. Pamper yourself more and be more considerate, kind and compassionate towards yourself. Whatever rocks your boat and is legal and biblical- do it.

In all, try to know yourself. Knowing yourself will always give you a way out of every temptation, because you’ll know the ‘why’ of the feeling and also most likely- the things to do to get out of the situation. The truth is as humans, most of the time, we have an idea of what to do (or not to do) to get us out of temptations, but we fail to do them because the temptation in question is a bait and it comes interesting. After all, the devil will not tempt you with what you hate. Or will you as a human being try to bait a rat, even a fish, with a stone? No; you will give it what you know will catch its attention. Likewise the devil. Sometimes, temptations are pointers to things we need more strength in; either as a sign of weakness, a missing link or lack of balance in our lives.

Aside knowing yourself; know God and know His Word. Your love for Him, the knowledge and understanding of His Word you have will keep you going. The fact that you know His Word and you do not want to hurt Him would help in moments of weakness. Do all your best to know His will (promises inclusive) for your life and trust His timing. Knowing this will keep you strong and hopeful knowing fully well that a bright future awaits you.

Above all, never fail to remember that God is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that He should repent. He also rewards greatly those who wait for Him patiently and dutifully.

...Till I come your way again, keep loving yourself and keep saying no to the temptation to date married men no matter how much the idea appeals to you. Always remember it’s a bait that leads to death in some kind of ways.
Much love sis.

Photo Credit: PlayerFM

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (2)

In the last article, we talked about checking deeply our hearts to know the probable and exact cause of our feelings since it is evident that every emotion has come to tell us something.

This we can start doing by paying attention to clues; especially those clues tending to draw us closer to him (married man in this case). For instance, you can take a clue of what you want or like in a man by taking note of the things you like in him. Could it be his dressing, composure, articulation, or what? You can take note and pray them into your future husband. Things you like about him should give you a prayer point for your future husband and things you perhaps do not like in him could also be a prayer point too for your future husband. Let seeing him make you more conscious of what is to come for you husband-wise, instead of immoral feelings and private unholy desires.

The truth is that you are going to meet (and work alongside) many married men during the course of your journey in life who will cut across what you want in men, or perhaps what you think you need at a particular moment; would you then date all of them per time? Can God trust you with what you want but isn’t yours? It can be worthy of note to know that growing up means trusting God’s will and timing; and growing up prevents us from being babies in nature. Only babies begin to cry when they see what they want and make sure they get it irrespective of the cost. You are no baby: you are a matured single lady dutifully and patiently waiting (on the Lord) for your worthy prince.

Besides, self-control starts now as a single lady, not necessarily as a married lady. Having a ring does not bring about a new you character wise, it's more of you carrying over the single you into the ‘married you’ phase. A ring does not change your personality, just your social status.

Let God trust you with things you desire, is around you but is not yours. The way you treat that which you desire but is not yours can either open or close doors for you to have yours. (after all he that is faithful in little will be faithful in much, the much being your future husband). Besides, no one is ever too young to start thinking of their tomorrow. If you sow this kind of seed today, should it germinate tomorrow, will you be happy with the end result?

Photo Credit: 1966mag.com

A lady like me: The masterpiece

You’ve never met

A lady like me.

You never should have.

It’s just me in the world

No one else like me

None else would be.

Yes, we all are clay

But when the Creator made me

He locked up

With an everlasting key and in a vault,

The rich remainder,

Of the clay

He used to mold me;

A vault,

Never again

To be opened in human history.

He made just me;

He made just me this way,

So-

You never should have

You never will

Meet a lady

Exactly like me.

I am His walking, living

And breathing

Masterpiece.

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation

We all get tempted at certain points and phases in our lives; even with things we never knew could flash across our minds not to talk of making a home there. How then do we deal with situations when we are tempted?

The truth is we all must learn to pay attention to ourselves to know for sure what our emotion is trying to communicate to us. We shouldn’t be so over-spiritual and carried away. We all are flesh and blood and emotions are real. It’s however left for us if we are paying attention to the inner us to separate the feelings we have into good and bad so we can know the ones to hold on to, and those to trash without a second thought. When emotions (especially the not too good ones trouble our heart), we should always dig deeper to understand the real reason why they are hovering.

As for lusting after a married man, could it be that all the while you’ve not had a kind man around you, and suddenly now when you seem to have one, you’re all over the place wishing he could be yours? Instead of lusting after him and wishing he was all yours, let him be the sign that great and kind men still exist, and use him as a point of contact hope-wise to believe for yours. Or better still, you can pray for him daily. There is something about this kind of prayer that eliminates immoral thoughts. Before you know it, your heart begins to get drawn to his wife with compassion such that you wouldn’t want to hurt her in any way, and also his kids.

As a single lady, you have to be able to work hand in hand with men who are kind and nice (and are married) without wishing they were yours in any way. Appreciate them for the kind people they are and want nothing more than that, knowing fully well that you would become a wife someday and you wouldn’t want someone lusting after your husband, or worse still- pursuing his attention. Besides, not every kind man is meant to be your husband, just like you are not meant to be the wife of every man just because you are beautiful.

While it is true that some married men do not mind having an affair with single ladies, it behooves on us to discipline ourselves never to be a victim, because in the end, it’s a road that often leads to death in some kind of way (emotional death, spiritual death, moral death; even sometimes physical death).

No matter who you are, your belief and spiritual state, always remember that you are not a robot and you do have emotions like all human beings do. You will get tempted in some ways some day and when you do, especially if it’s with a kind, nice married man, do remember that yours is not different in any case as stated in James 1:12-18; and also, 1Corinthians 10:12. Also bear in mind Matthew 26:41 (MSG). Never wish any married man belongs to you no matter how kind and loving he is; he is someone else’ sole ‘property’.

Reference Scripture: 2Corinthians 10:5

Till I come your way again, much love.

Waiting: the time in between.

Many of us walk around complaining and wondering when exactly our time would come. We whine all through the seasons we find ourselves, especially the unpleasant ones. We seem to forget that not only does all things work together for good for them that love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28); but also the fact that nothing just happens.
Take for instance; Jesus our perfect example, He never started His earthly ministry until the age of 30: so what was He doing before then, especially from the age of twelve when we heard a bit about Him to the age of thirty where He began His public ministry? Your guess is as good as mine- He was preparing! Preparing for what? The great future He knew lied ahead of Him!

For some of us, instead of spending virtually all our time complaining bitterly about how we think God has forgotten us and His promised plan for our lives; it would be good to actually and literally get on our knees and seek His face. All the free time you have now that you are complaining about will soon be taken from you, so what would you say is your gain after the season is over?
Newsflash: We are never to leave any season in our lives (good or bad) the exact way we came into it; we are to leave better and stronger because that is what it has come to make us. Most people seem to be on the same level because they've failed to pass their exam: they keep writing the same thing despite failing over and over; they keep complaining and wasting the precious time they are given instead of being grateful, and focusing solely and fully on how the season would advance God's purpose for their lives through careful and diligent preparation.
Another newsflash: You will never get less busy in life. Except for times in between, every season will take you higher than you were the previous time. You're single now? Your marriage season (which usually lasts for a life time) will make you more busy. The more reason why you should maximize every free time and never let them go without making good use of them because sadly and most of the time- time lost hardly ever gets regained.

Remember the children of Israel? At a point in their journey, all they did was complain and murmur; an attitude which made them not only walk a journey of forty days for forty years, but also ended up killing the knowledgeable adults in their midst who should have known better because they saw the miracle of the Lord happen with their two eyes and they witnessed His Great Power and what it can do. In the times of seeming trouble, they refused to count on the faithfulness of the Lord to them in times past, and just like David, they literally failed to remember that the God that brought them out unhurt from the lions and the bears is also very much able and capable to keep them from getting killed by a godless giant.

What am I saying in essence? Maximize all the time you have in between seasons. God knows what He is doing and He has the bigger picture in mind (Jeremiah 29:11- MSG). He's quite aware of the fact that you are currently jobless because He wants you to use that time to grow in Him and in destiny. He knows you are single and He is counting on you to use that period to grow and work more on yourself. He knows where you are per stage and how you feel about your situation, but sometimes in life, it's not just about our feelings, but what we do with our feelings through it all. Jesus didn't want to go the cross, but He went anyway because it wasn't about His feelings and desires, but the purpose in which that season has come to accomplish.

I want you to know that God knows exactly where you are, and He knows exactly what He is doing with your life even when it seems all things are working against you. Maximize all the little time you have in between. As you wait for all God has in store for you, wait well and equipped. Wait prepared and without grumbling or complaining. Wait prepared and grateful knowing fully well that every time in between is a blessing in disguise: a season meant to usher you into a greater season.

The only way you can know what a season in your life has come to accomplish is to stay close to God- the controller of all seasons. Pay close attention to what He reveals and make conscious and diligent effort to work on the instructions given. More so, staying (very) close to God would ensure a joyful transition between the time you are in now, to the season you really want to be. The joy of the Lord serves as our strength. A sad person can do very little, if at all anything; but a joyful person can in fact do all things, because joy, especially heavenly joy produces (so much) strength in us! Nehemiah 8:10.

In your times in-between, choose to wait joyfully, expectantly and perhaps most of all- preparedly. And be rest assured that all (no matter what or how it looks like now) is for a greater good.
Romans 8:22-25(MSG).


Till I come your way again
Much love

Let’s talk about marriage!

One, two, three- go! So let’s talk about marriage! And while we talk, be slow to call me crazy. It’s just the way I see it, and I think it might help you get your pillow less soaked with tears. Shall we? It’s going to be some minutes of hard and frank talk. Grab your timer and- let’s go!

Why cry and weep about marriage? Is that the essence of who you are, or what totally you are called to do??? You are not your body no matter its tantrums and efforts to own you. You are a spirit trapped in a body- your body- with an assignment to do for a limited time. Your main goal is your mandate- the assignment you were given to do by God, and all other things are comforts/aids to help you in your assignment, including marriage.

To be married is to have the privilege of having an earthly member like you on the same ship with you- a companion that eases your tension, adds to you and helps you in your God-given mission; and vice versa. Marriage is more than sex: it is divine partnership for divine assignment.

You are no lesser because you are not married (yet). Clamoring strictly on marriage is you missing the reason for your existence. Don’t get me wrong- marriage is good, but it’s not all there is about you or your life. You are more than your desires and raging hormones. Which is not to say that sex is the only reason why we desire marriage.

My advice for singles waiting on God for marriage would be: Stay close and content with God. Ask and praise. Do your own part of preparation, and at the right time- just when the time is right, He will give you your partner- the partner He deems fit for the work He has called you to do. Marriage is the ‘yoking’ of two souls together for the sole purpose of destiny just as two oxen are equally yoked together to bring about effectiveness on farmlands. Marriage is having a lifelong, trustworthy partner that will be with you for a lifetime and help in the fulfillment of your dreams. Wait for God all the way all through your life’s journey and while you wait in every phase, make Matthew 6:33 your watchword.

And lastly: before you say yes, consider from deep within what the usefulness and the results of you two being together will be- the impact it will have on the quality of your lives, your generation, and the world at large.

Till I come your way again- Stay Blessed and thoughtful.

Eniola Olaosebikan.

Trapped

I'm trapped in you
For eternity?
Maybe not
But say eighty, a hundred years.

I asked for no body
But I was given you
With an assignment- a mandate
That'll last for less than a hundred years
But'll resound through eternity
Till a new earth beckons.

No one else could do it
So I was sent.

What can stop me?
The shape of your nose
Or the colour of your skin?
Your legs, or the way you walk?
The hairs on your head (which you're lucky to have)
Or the scars on your skin?
Your fat belly or your too small or too big buttocks?
Maybe not.
I do not belong to you forever.

I'm only trapped in you
For a little while.
You are a container
My spirit travels in
On the sojourn- this temporary abode called earth.

The end is
To pour out my all in bits: my content
Till all becomes empty
And I go hither
To where I came from
And to He
Who sent me.

The only bond I have
Is to take care of you;
Maintain you
Till the end comes.
You matter, but I-
The me within
Matters most.

You are a means
To my fruitful existence,
Just what I need
To execute my assignment
Till immortality calls
At the final close
Of my eyes.

I am trapped- in you
But unstoppable.

Soulmates: smiles and bores.

Will he cry
When he sees me;
With a deep bore
Devoid of expressions
When on the matrimonial bed
We lay
One warm morn
Face to face,
Twenty years later?

He'll have two eyes;
One that pierces deeply into my soul
Without a word
And another that rather gazes- lovingly
Without words still
Into my eyes.

Would he cry
When his soul I see
Without a word
But he knows
I understand?:
Just when I see- so deep;
His fears and all
That makes him feel
Like a baby and vunerable
But love him anyway?
Far beyond his body?- however great it is.

Would he tell me
I am his mystery;
His soul mate, and soul fit?
Would he tell me
How glad he was he waited
And now has me?

Would he hold me close
Tell me no words still;
-Just his palm gently placed
On mine
When at the table we dine
Full of silence: only
Smiles and bores?

Would he?
'Cos I will.
Soulmates.

II

He is not deaf
He is not dumb
Neither am I.
We speak
We hear;
But more of the soul.
Soul to soul.

III

There is a stillness in our soul
That makes us hear the inaudible,
A light on our path- divine
That makes us see the invisible,
And a sight somewhere in us- bright
That makes us see each other
In words we can't explain.
We are soulmates;
More than mere partners and room mates.
Our souls hear;
Our souls sees;
Together, we see Him
Who for our sins bled and died.
A three fold cord
Who can break?

I am not the best

Good is okay.
I do not want
To be the best.
To be the best
Is to have one to compare to;
To be good-
Is just to be me.

I compete with no other
I compare with no other:
I stay on my lane
And on my own. I am
Good.

II
In God's Eyes
Are hidden
- a billion lights;
Lights that shines through
And sees clearly.
He needs not think twice
Nor tell a lie
About what He sees.

He saw me
And said
I was good.
He makes no mistake.

III
I compare with no one
I compete with no one
God says I am good:
I am good.

IV
I strive to be the best
Because I compare.
But now
Knowing who I am
And whose I am,
I compare no more
Because I know
I am good.

I am good:
He created me good-
That's all that matters.

V
God made two great lights:
The sun
And the moon
Yet,
Both were good.
None was better,
None was best.
Each had its unique purpose
No other can fill.

..God made me too
Amidst many other billions walking;
I am good,
They are good too.

A matter of worth

If I were not worthy
He would never have saved me.
If I were not worthy
He would never have heard any of my prayers
If I were not worthy
He would never have wasted His time
Giving me purpose and vision,
Grace for the journey,
And mercy for times of err.

If I were not worthy
He would never have wasted His effort,
Nor Blood on me;
He would have died for everyone else
But me,
And made it
Categorically known.

If I were never worthy
He would have left me
For the enemy to destroy;
After all, what would have been my use?

...But because I am worthy
He saved me
Gave me a new name,
Claimed, and calls me His own.

Because I am worthy,
He covers me daily and gently
In the warmth
Of His priceless love;
He guides me daily
In the light of His Word,
And hides me daily still-
In the beauty
And awesomeness
Of His Holy Presence
All because of who I am:

His treasure-
A treasure which
He made
Neither greater nor equal of-
A masterpiece.

...He made me
I am worthy.
...I am worthy
Because  He made me.

God makes no junk!

II

I was born-
I am worthy
I am still living,
I am worthy.
I am worthy
Because I have the breath of life-
His own very breath!

God makes
And sustains no junk!

III

Would you if you were God-
Give your attention and time to junk?
Devout yourself to sustaining
And keeping dearly
Something of no value,
Return or worth?
Every maker has intentions,
Intentions wrapped around worth and value
No matter the purpose of the object made.

So, my friend-
Know that-

God makes no junk!
And you are no junk!
You are worthy, precious and priceless!

Ignore the critical voice in your head
The comments,
Opinions,
And perception of people about you.
-You are worthy
Because God made you;

God made you
And He makes no junk!

My New Year gift to you.

 A brand new year. Happy new year everyone.

 **********             ***********           **********             *********

Most people have had the life they’ll live this year planned last year, some had it planned  the very first day of this year, and some- are still waiting, hoping to find their way through step by step. Whichever the category you seem to belong to, I know one thing for sure that would lead to a greater and more prosperous life this year-  praying in tongues.

Someone I respect would always say – “when you pray in tongues, you download heavenly wisdom”- a truth I've come to agree with over and over. Essentially, wisdom is knowing what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Praying in tongues gives us that advantage. As established in Romans 8:26-27 when we pray, our spirits takes things to God and God in turn pours things into us, such that there comes a (sudden) knowing of what to do and how to go about it. When we pray in tongues, we align ourselves with what’s been written about us from the beginning of time. We align our will with God's and give Him the chance to not only breathe afresh into us, but to speak His present mind to us.

...Are you confused? Pray in tongues. Seeking the perfect will of God for this year? Pray in tongues. As you pray in tongues, some things would come into your mind. Take note. Could be Bible verses, ideas, steps or actions to take, whatever it may be- pay attention. Speaking in tongues gives us the direct access to the Spirit of God, and the ability to know His mind for us at different points in time; even future times.

No matter how concrete your plan for the year seems, pray in tongues still. You never lose when you pray in tongues. I’ve had a lot of future occurrences revealed to me while praying in tongues, and with this I can say- praying in tongues is sight- it gives us the ability to see into the otherwise invincible. Praying in tongues births hope in us and strengthens us for the journey ahead. I feel safe by knowing I’m in great Hands and under a protective, intimate and divine guidance when I pray in tongues.

Make it a habit to pray daily in tongues. Keep building up your most holy faith as admonished in the Bible. Jude 1:20.

This word I speak to you is my New Year’s gift to you. For most people, it might be time to take it higher while for others, it might be time to start afresh. No matter your category- Pray in tongues (still).

…Till I come your way again, much love and hugs.