Wednesday, 4 December 2019

Who Are Your Support Systems?


 “I think I am jinxed,'' I said, letting go of the torrent of tears that I had been holding back while commuting to her office. She looked so broken hearted as she told me “No, you are blessed and not cursed”. Life had dealt me a very hard blow, I was in a very bad place and I was down with severe malaria. She then decided not to let me go back to my apartment but go to hers and I was with her for a week.

We all go through the highs and lows of life, but we don’t have to do it in isolation. It’s a good feeling to know that you have people in your corner that can always be there for you through the highs and lows. We all need people who will speak life to us when others are echoing our pain.

I feel so blessed when my mum would check on me everyday despite her busy schedule. I think about my friend who is nursing an infant and will still ensure she checks up on me even though it’s very late in the night. Acts like this keep you going even when everything in your space is telling you to do otherwise. Friendships still multiply our joy and reduce our griefs.

Relationships are gifts, and we should not take them for granted. I feel so blessed each time I remember the wonderful people God has gifted me with. There are some blessings you get just because of the company you keep. We live in a very desensitized society and people no longer see the need to connect with people in their space. Think about this, if things really go wrong in your space, can you count two to three people that can be there for you through everything? If you can’t, you better get to work. Let me clear the air here, I am a staunch believer in people being responsible so this is not a write-up encouraging abdicating the responsibilities of one’s life to someone else. This is more like a call to understand that life should not be lived in isolation.

I have enjoyed the gift of very strong support systems in human form and I feel the need to share some tips:

  1. Be truly concerned and show care for people in your space. He that must have friends must show himself friendly. Be that one friend that people can count on.
  2. Give, give and give. Kindness makes a person’s face shine, this means that people become attracted to you. Everyone has something to give trust me, nothing is too small. I guess it is the thought that matters.
  3. Understand that we are still humans and no one is perfect so give room for offences. Remember that everyone is fighting their own battles so they might not be there for you all the time. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on humans, because you are one too.
  4. Open your heart even though you might get hurt. People live in their own shells and prevent access just to avoid heartbreak and betrayals. Well I don’t believe that’s a way to live. I understand the need to regulate access because whoever has access has influence but this is not an excuse to lock up totally.
In closing, find your tribe and hold them dearly.  I pray that you find the right set of people to do life with.

Written by: Adeteju Adeniran

Photo Credits: Google Images

About the Author: Adeteju Adeniran is an internationally trained occupational health and safety professional. She loves to write on faith, hope, and lifestyle, getting her inspiration from the day to day occurrences around her.  She has an obsession with anything African print (lol). She resides in Lagos, Nigeria, where she is impacting her world, one kind deed after another.

She can be reached via-
LinkedIn/Facebook: Adeteju Adeniran

28 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Quite beautiful and inspiring. Problem shared is problem solved. No matter what people may say be yourself and open minded.

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    1. Very true. @ be yourself and open minded.
      Thank you for your comment.

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  3. No truer words. Be the shoulder you seek to lean on. Every shoulder is a blessing.
    Good insight,great write up.

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  4. "Find your tribe and hold them dear"... thank you Adeteju for this.

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  5. "nothing is too small to give". This is a good write up. Good one babes

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    1. Yes, the write up is very good and compelling. Great to know the part that struck the most for you. And great to have you on the blog as well. Thank you.

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  6. Adeteju Adeniran.
    I can't see your write-up and look away.
    You are always a blessing.
    Very concise and relatable.
    Love you...
    Tolu Dada

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    1. I really agree. She is a great blessing.
      Great to have you on the blog. Thank you.

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  7. I read this in you voice haha..very reassuring :)
    Truly relationships are gifts and every day I'm thankful for the people in my space who constantly give me the strength I need to keep pushing.

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    1. You must have had a very lovely read adding her voice to it.
      Great to have you on the blog.

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  8. Very helpful and relatable.
    It's because 'I' exist that 'We' exist and vice versa.

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  9. Teejay well said dear. Isolation aggravates situation.Speaking to those that really care can help restore your sanity & profer solution to problem at hand. Never walk alone is applicable to everyone not just Liverpool😆😆😆.

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    1. Up Liverpool. lol
      Thank you for your addition/comment.

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  10. Replies
    1. very true.
      Thank you ma'am. A pleasure to have you.

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  11. Hmmnnn. .. .This is just a perfect morning dose. More ink to the pen and knowledge to the centres

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    1. Great to know how perfect of a dose it is.
      I say a big Amen on her behalf. Thank you.

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  12. Oluwatosin Amos Ilori11 December 2019 at 11:27

    Thanks Teju for this nugget. Woe to him who is alone in times of adversity. Also, there are some information we would never receive and there are some insights we would never have except for the quality of relationships and/or we keep. Relationships are a form of wealth (social capital).

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    1. It's great to have you on the blog. Thank you for your comment.

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  13. Nice write-ups, so inspiring. It is always a good thing to have someone to open up to and talk.... But some people can turn around to use those things against you. So one needs to be extra-careful in choosing a shoulder to lean on cos some shoulders are just like the story of the Old and the young prophet in the scriptures

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    1. Yes, very true. I agree.

      Great to hear from you.

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