Can This Be Why You Are Depressed?

What do you do when life seems to be slipping past you? When for some reasons, it seems you have lived your best days? When the days you looked ‘forward’ to are things that happened in the past? You look back and it was in some moments in the past that it appears you were happy the most? When the past to a great extent has now become a template for the future?

These are feelings I guess we all have at some points, but come to think of it, are they really real? Let me dissect it for you:

In primary school, you were taken care of by your parents (or guardian as the case may be), and on the average, life was good. Your uniforms were ironed for you, food was cooked for you and all. All you needed to do was wake up, clean up and head for school. That phase passed and secondary school life began. You made a lot of friends perhaps, and the fact that you are old enough to gist more, gave you the benefit of ‘enjoying’ life more. You laugh, you gist, you walk with a group of friends. You do a lot of things, and guess who foots the bill? Mummy and daddy/guardians (shout out to those who at this level were already fending for themselves).

After secondary school came university! What else could have been more fun? Freedom unlimited, and still, money from home to support. Here most likely, you made more crazy friends and had more crazy adventures. Yes, your studies ‘hindered’ your flow, but all together, you created memorable experiences with memorable people. You most likely came out with more laughter, valuable friends, and the likes. Again, life was good. If at all you served (did NYSC), Service most likely was a great year.

Real life started when you started job hunting. Well, lucky you- you found a job, and perhaps kept finding till you saw the one you felt quite comfortable with. For some, you travelled outside the country for your masters and other things and life couldn’t be more fun! You made brand new friends and saw life in a much different way. However after like a year or two, the whole experience came to an end, and real life came calling once again. Experiences to an extent became slow in coming up, memories (as an introvert) became less and less, till all you seem to have is yourself. All you did was go through the day, and life suddenly became ‘very tough’, with you looking forward to the memories of yesteryears. You begin to feel low and less motivated. Everybody in life seems busy, and have little or no time for you (and vice versa). Guess what? You begin to hold on to past memories and long for the ‘good old days’. Life becomes either too slow in passing, or perhaps too fast, with nothing seeming meaningful save the routines you are now used to. You get married, have children, and life continues...

You know what really happened?- Adulting.

Primary school right to secondary school, you had no worry as it were. You didn’t need to make any money, so your thoughts were less tensed, and even when they happen to be for whatever reason, you had friends all around you that brightened your day one way or the other. University as well, all you had to do was read. NYSC- Serve. Life started to get to you when all your responsibilities fell on you.

Life is like a mountain, the higher you climb, the more difficult it becomes as it were. With all the weights of life comes the feeling of being overwhelmed. And as well, the older we become on the earth, the more responsibilities we have to handle by default. Time from being a gift you gave to many becomes a scarce commodity. You become so consumed by your world, such that it becomes hard to come out. And poof! -  we stop making memories.

In the absence of new memories, old memories gradually become the height of our days. And slowly and slowly, we slip into depression either because we think no one really cares, or because we are so caught up in our world to the point that even though we seem to have some time to spare, we have little or no energy to spend it with people.

The issue of friends also kicks in. Unlike secondary and ‘Uni’ days, you have friends that would easily climb the world with you. Now, all you have are office/church friends whose friendships in most cases are no farther from the door of the office/church. You leave the vicinity, and that’s all. Well, you get married, give birth, and the trend seems to continue.

What are am I saying in essence? We seem to have a better yesterday because we do not take our time to purposefully create memories per time. We allow the ‘adult’ life to catch up with us. Back when we were younger, moments easily came to us, but now as adults, we have to consciously seek out moments. Yes, we might not have that large range of friends, and even if we do, they might be miles away, and I understand having trusted friends could be a challenge; and sometimes, the challenge might be money. But then, through it all, we have to make do of the little window we have. For all it’s worth, a trip to the Island to be with that friend might be worth it, and vice versa (talking from a Lagosian point of view. Island/Mainland).

One thing I have come to realize is- energy does not always come from books, video and audio motivations alone, it comes as well from hours spent having a good time with a good friend. It eases our burdens and makes us come back home with more vigour to face life. Perhaps it’s one reason men are usually energetic to pursue their goals, because they are always having ‘boys’ time- a time to free themselves of life’s burden, and as well unburden their minds.

Have fun. Create memories. Life is not that serious. This I write for everyone, but most especially- for introverts like me. Fun can be the missing link that has always made you weak and depressed. Stop being alone all the time. Pray to God for awesome friends and maximize them when they come. And as well, be an awesome friend yourself. This (fun) key if used will save you a lot of depressions and lack of energy. Live. Laugh. Work. Rejuvenate.

*NYSC- National Youth Service Corps (this is the process in which some levels of tertiary institution graduates in Nigeria serves their country for the period of one year, before officially job hunting).

Photo Credit: Hype Beast

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