Soul Writer's Blog: Ladies: Rich Guy versus Poor Guy

Growing up, there used to be terms like 'Olorunsogo' and 'surulere' with regards to marriage, but then these days, I hardly hear the word 'surulere' again, but then can you blame the ladies? (For non-Yoruba readers, the term Olorunsogo is used in the light of a guy coming ready made with everything needed already had, while Surulere is used with regards to the step by step guy as it were- a man who approaches you but has literally nothing. Regarding Surulere, you choosing to wait is the 'suru'- the patience, that has 'ere'- reward; hence- Surulere, while for the Olorunsogo- it means God has made a glory, or if you would- God has provided a glory).

So these days, it is more of babes (ladies) choosing to thank God for the glory He has made already in their men, than choosing to wait step by step for a guy with nothing to have something; but then can you blame anyone? The argument is that- for a guy not made, you know nothing per se of his character, especially what he would do when he has money, but then the question to think about would be- who is this guy fundamentally? What are his believes and standards hinged on?- morals or God? A belief hinged on morals is bound to shift, but that hinged on God, especially on the premises of love, honour and reverence tends to last longer, and even if the man along the way fails, rather than stay in his mess, he is quick to adjust and run back to God- the reason why he's doing all he's doing in the first place.

The truth is that people change a lot- money or no money, as a result, one would have to look for factors beyond money to make one's decision, especially when it comes to the issue of marriage. In as much as I get the argument that a guy without money has his character not fully formed as it were (as majority of the time, it is said that money reveals character), I am also of the opinion of having patience as a virtue as sometimes, all that glitters is not gold, else, how would one know a man who made his wealth from rituals and other sources impure that literally can cause harm to the would-be partner?

In as much as I as the writer do not mind an Olorunsogo kind of man (because to be candid, money makes the world rounder as it were, and to be sincere, the presence of money reduces frictions in marriages/relationships), it would be good to switch on our inner eyes, as well as our intuition when it comes to the issue of marriage as majority of the time, money or no money, we usually know what's best for us through our intuition. As a matter of fact, to avoid marital mistakes through our choices, it will be wise to take our options to God- both for the Olorunsogo kind of guy, and the Surulere kind of guy (whose preference is now going low due to the many stories that has literally touched the heart, and the fact that eyes are getting opened now beyond the 'lovvy-lovvy' or 'mushy-mushy' kind of feelings. Realities are now being applied to feelings which I think is a welcome development on both sides- both Olorunsogo and Surulere). So- Olorunsogo or Surulere as it were- the choice is up to us provided we thoughtfully and prayerfully examine our options.

Before I go, I would love to say above all that it would be good for us ladies (especially in this age and time) to work (or keep working as the case may be) with our hands: so when the guy comes, we would be too comfortable to assess him solely based on his money. Bringing one's wealth to the table no matter how small makes one think deeper and from a stable place of confidence and truth. Having a stable source apart from the man's makes it possible not to be in a rush for a man to save us from a harsh and firm grip of poverty as it were. Besides, doing something worthwhile with our hands comes with its own respect, and as a result- it's own choice of options hinged on truth.

With our eyes on our goals, when the man comes, it won't be a matter of his wealth, but how much both parties (man and woman in this case) can do together to help each other succeed. In as much wealth is good, a marriage based on wealth might not last, unlike that based on the personalities of the people involved. Dr. Myles Munroe of blessed memory once said something very profound, he said "a marriage is as good as the quality of the people inside it"- so before you choose, be it Olorunsogo or Surulere- pause, think, pray, then choose.

Till I come your way next week Wednesday, I remain your blog host, friend, soul sister who bares it all out, co-human on earth, and much more. Do enjoy the rest of your week.