Two Things People Think Should Define A Woman

Two things people think should define a woman:

Marriage, and 

In this modern age – a great job

I’ve had a number of people call me up, most especially on my birthdays  and ask me questions that usually appear as landmarks and status checking questions- people I’d not seen in a long while, perhaps in decades. My last birthday, I had a couple of people call me up and were so interested in the two landmark questions, especially the first one. They ask questions like- are you married now, where do you work now? If your answer to either question is no, especially after a period of time considered long, they either mumble up some words that is assumed to be words of encouragement, or begin to lecture you on why you must get married as though you do not know all they were saying before. Some even have the effrontery to say ‘you know, women are like flowers, the earlier the better’ as though you do not know technically. Some could even go as far as suggesting pastors and churches to go to to obtain your deliverance, all which to an extent I’m not against- it’s their way of showing care. Or perhaps what goes around comes around. Could remember me telling one of my senior friends at the time sometimes in the year 2005 who was 27 according to hearsay to go to a famous church known for deliverance to go for deliverance. That was the stage I was and my candid advice to her hinged on the wings of love, so, I understand when people get concerned to the point of making funny looking suggestions.

Why am I writing all these? As a human, especially as a lady, you should know what defines you and what ultimately does not. Marriage despite being a good and great thing is one of the things in my opinion that does not define the totality of being a woman. I’m not saying this because I am not married yet, I’m saying it because there are many things to do with one’s life on earth and marriage is just a part of it. Do I want to get married?- yes, but not so it can define my womanhood, but so I can derive true and real pleasure from having a co-human being as my unfailing partner as it were in my journey through life which I count as a huge privilege (the privilege of having to share in another person’s life and journey and them having to share faithfully in yours too). 

In essence, not being at a place 'people' consider as a landmark for success or 'true living' despite it being a while graduating from school (or perhaps leaving a place seen as a landmark) is never a reason to go about with your head bowed or to feel less than a human (woman) in any way. How about the lives you touch on a daily basis? The lives that are better because you are in them, and the likes. How about the effective use of your talent for humanity in a way that is needful and fulfilling? And the baby steps you are taking towards achieving your dream(s)? All these are worth celebrating and being happy about no matter what people try to throw at your face to bring you down. In life, especially as women, we have to learn to control the things we can control, and dexterously walk in the gracefulness of that which we can’t control but is left to nature as it were, things such as marriage- the day you would get married and who the man would be to an extent…..

Live, learn, laugh and be happy through it all, especially because you are a woman and throw away every box- tiny or big that the world tries to fix or define you in. Till I come your way again (and of course beyond), have fun all the way and never stop celebrating yourself for all that has been done through you so far. 
Hearty hugs and love.

Photo Credit: Google Image

Connect with me on social media

Facebook:   Eniola Olaosebikan
Instagram: cream_legend
Twitter:     TheEniolaO
LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan

Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com

One Way To Live Forever

Going by the title of this article, I wish I can start by saying scientists found one particular regimen that could make people live forever without seeing a bit of death, but no, this article isn’t about such inasmuch as I would have loved it to be.

So if scientists are yet to find such way and this article is about ‘one way to live forever’, what indeed is this one way? Before I answer the question, I would like to ask some (funny appearing) questions, so, here we go:

Martin Luther King, is he alive or dead? Nelson Mandela- alive or dead? Albert Einstein, Aristotle, Plato, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, Michael Jackson, Williams Shakespeare, Winston Churchill… all dead or alive? If your answer is as good as mine, then how come their name still gets mentioned as though they are still alive and they have gone nowhere beyond us? Why do people still talk about them, sometimes with happiness and motivation? Since life as we all know is transient, shouldn’t people just die and everything about them cease to exist?

Why are all these men/women dead, but still seem alive? Yeah, your guess is as good as mine- the works of their hands/what they spent their time doing while they were on earth, as well as the amount of time they invested into the things they believed in, such that they never quit and in the end- changed the world in some ways and made the world a better place.

As a result, one way to live forever is to through our existence in our own little way, make the world a better place. When you are useful to the world, both your generation and the ones after yours would never forget you, for the battles you fought as in the case of Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, or sometimes for the invention you made, all which made the world a better place.

If life were a bed of rose, then there would be no need to fight in the first place, but because life as we all know is never a bed of rose, these men/women are celebrated as ‘gods’/exceptions, because they came, saw and conquered. Just like you and I, they had reasons to be depressed for a long time, reasons to quit after long trials, but they never did, because they saw victory ahead, and allowed the victory they saw be their constant hope even in the face of danger and seeming hopelessness.

If we must live forever-in people’s hearts and the world’s heart at large, we must seek to tread the path very few treads and as a result, live for a purpose greater than ourselves, either through kindness as in the case of Mother Theresa, Inventions as in the case of Wright brothers, or whatever means beneficial to the world and fulfilling to us.

A billion people and more come to the earth, very few are remembered in the end, and these few people in the end, live forever. The choice is yours, and mine as well- to follow the path laid in front of us, not because we want/seek to be remembered for the fun of it, but because in the end, the world seeing the uniqueness of what we have done (such that only us can do), would have no choice but to remember us, unconsciously immortalizing our names in the process. 

So if you want to live for long, and as a matter of fact- live forever, role up your sleeves and not only work, but be intentional about the things you do on earth while you still have the time.

Much love.

Photo Credit: Google Image

Connect with me on social media

Facebook:   Eniola Olaosebikan
Instagram: cream_legend
Twitter:     TheEniolaO
LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan

Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com

I Am Single And I Am An Introvert

Once at some points in my life, for some reasons, I always found myself indoor and I thought I loved it until somebody came into my life that constantly tripped me out and I realized that I love going out after all. With his invite to go out constantly, I felt like a baby again- eager to go out as though being at home as it were was prison. No sooner than I met this guy, our trips for some reasons began tending towards nights. A night, two nights, a few more nights and I found myself not only liking him but sleeping with him.

Those were the words of Tolu, my friend who urged me to use her story without me even asking, so others can read and make necessary adjustments.

Tolu and I being intimate friends, when we traced the root of all that happened, we discovered that unlike before when she would stay at home and be cool, she was staying at home, doing all that she normally would do (reading, movies, sometimes sleeping) but was no longer cool. Yes, she was working, but her journey like most introverts ended up being triangular as it were- home to work, work to church, and back to base- home. As a result, she was tired of living such life without her really knowing how tired she was until the guy in question strolled into her life like a relieve. 

Another reason why she fell that flat was because she never went out. No girls’ time out or even a stroll out with a friend. All she did was work, work, work, and home, home, home. No form of balance as it were, so when the guy came into the picture, he easily became her vent because at the time he came, she had become so full, even beyond she realized.

As a result, I would love to urge us singles that are introverts to go out, have fun and have a balanced life. Have friends you are comfortable with (basically same sex friends) that brings out the fun side of you, so easily you would have a vent and you would not be full to the point that just anybody that comes after a while sweeps you off your feet and the unimaginables begin to happen. Motives are different and these days, things happen fast, even before we realize what is happening. So, please, go out, have fun and be merry all you can with people you love and trust.

Till I come your way next week Wednesday, I remain your loyal friend, blog host, sharer and at the same time- co learner. Feel free to hit me up on my social media handles and of course slide into my DM when there is a need. Love you guys. Hugs.

Photo Credit: Google Image

Connect with me on social media

Facebook:   Eniola Olaosebikan
Instagram: cream_legend
Twitter:     TheEniolaO
LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan

Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com

Let's Talk about Beauty!

I shared a post on beauty on my social media handle and someone I hold so dear urged me to paste on the blog, which I tried resisting knowing fully well that Wednesday is our major blog day, and it's just around the corner. But then since he won, and I love you guys, here comes the post - 

"A number of people at first did not see Lupita Nyong'o as beautiful, but countless of times, she's been named the most beautiful woman by magazines. Why? The fruit of her hand is beautiful; her acting prowess (delivery) is commendable and believable.

Don't focus your all on buying creams and cloths; focus more on refining your talent and your real beauty will shine through.

...In the end, the state of your being and what you do with it is what makes you truly beautiful, not just looks and creams."

To see more of my regular/daily posts, you can follow me on the social handles below...

See you tomorrow- Our main blog day. Cheers!

Photo Credit: Hollywood Reporter

Connect with me on social media

Facebook:   Eniola Olaosebikan
Instagram: cream_legend
Twitter:     TheEniolaO
LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan

Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com

Life's Lessons (1)

A couple of days ago, I stumbled on a fairly old movie/animation titled- Sing. Being someone that likes taking a quick glance at movies before actually watching (as most times I do not want to waste my time watching a movie I shouldn't have had any business watching in the first place), I felt a bit impressed by what I saw, especially going by Meena- the Elephant; the part where drowned in her sorrow, with her earpiece plugged to her ears, she sang out almost as loud as she could without knowing.

Having fully watched the movie now, two things comes to mind which for me are life lessons:

1. Only you can hear clearly the sound of such things you are called to do. 

When Moon opened his car wash after the disaster that happened to his theatre and was getting by with the help of his friends, one of the times he was washing a client's car, he heard a sound (Meena's sound) people around him could not hear (even though to his hearings it seemed loud). Why? Because there are some things in life others won't see but you will see; some sounds in life others won't hear but you will hear, because those things you are called to as a matter of fact makes up your core.
Just as a well connected bulb responds to a switch, some things (having been well connected by your Maker) you would respond to by default. As a result, like Robert Schuller once said, "develop the habit of recognizing and responding to the smallest trickle of positivism that might leak into your mind", especially after a major fall that makes rising almost impossible.

2. Moments do not always come announced, and majority of the time, they come at lowest times. As a result, we have to be able to learn to pick up ourselves with hope when it appears we have fallen, knowing fully well that some windows are only opened for a short while.

If Moon refused to accept/manage the people that came to him not minding the absence of a prize money, they might have with time all gone their separate ways and by the time Moon thinks he's had it altogether and wants them, they most likely would  have moved on with their lives and it would have been almost impossible to have them. Some moments in our lives are attached to time frames and we have to dust ourselves up (most times sooner than expected) to make use of the opportunity.

In all, majority of the time, the point where your life seems at its lowest is more often the point it shoots, especially with persistence and efforts added. Like Moon once said in the movie- "when you reach rock bottom, the next place to go is up". And as some of the cliches but true sayings we always hear says- after the darkest night always comes the brightest morning.

When Moon had everything going with the theatre, the worst he could picture was that there was no money, but when the building itself came tumbling down, there was no more worst that could happen, which made him through the help of his friends literally take his life in his hands. As a result, we all need great friends all around us. Friends who would see us for who we are and would gladly support us. Same with friends who will rather than compete ruthlessly with us, would see the best in us and seek to bring it out.

One touching part for me regarding friendship was when Moon's rich friend- Eddie- volunteered to help Moon with his car wash business by offering to dry the cars Moon washed without Moon even asking. In as much as we need such friends around us, we need to be such friends to people as well. Friends who would offer a helping hand from a genuine heart without necessarily being asked.

Bringing all the lessons home in one piece, I would say:

1. Be open to hope, especially after a very hard time.
2.Recognize every trickle of positivity along your way.

3.Great friendship is everything. In as much as you do not mind receiving it, expect to be it as well.

4. As you journey through life, try your best never to give up on your dreams, especially your lifelong dreams; for you might just be an inch away from the success/result you seek.

5 Just like Meena and Moon had to deal with their fears at some points, you would have to deal with yours too at some points, else, success instead of a reality would continue to be an illusion. Like Moon told Meena and Meena in turn in the course of time told Moon- never let fear get in the way of the things you love to do.

There are many things I would love to say to encourage us all (myself inclusive), but for the sake of time, it would be good to stop here. We can continue next time, or probably next week with real life experiences, or perhaps through movies like 'Sing' that I believe are life changing.
Until then, maximize every moment that comes your way as you go through the remaining days of the week. And if per chance you are down like I was some moments ago, it's time to rise up and actively trace your sound of positivity so you can rise again, just like Moon did, and just as I'm doing at the moment.

Much love.

Photo Credit (Movie Images): Google Image

Connect with me on social media

Facebook:   Eniola Olaosebikan
Instagram: cream_legend
Twitter:     TheEniolaO
LinkedIn: Eniola Olaosebikan

Email: soulwriteralways@gmail.com