The Danger In Desiring Exactly What Your Friend Has

A man I regard once talked about having a healthy form of jealousy- a jealousy in which we see what someone is doing that we like, and instead of reacting with a negative emotion to the phenomenon, we allow the act to stir us as wholly and positively as possible into doing the same thing as well.  

In as much as I agree with his philosophy based on some religious grounds, I feel that in trying to have what our friend/people around us have, to an extent, we have to be willing to open our eyes into what it might entail. What do I mean?

Let’s say someone named Tola just opened her shop and you indeed love the idea that she has a shop because it’s been a part of your dream/desire all along, you have to be careful how you pursue yours so while in the process of pursuit, you do not fall into wrong hands and act.

In other words, never be so consumed to succeed like your friend to the extent that you close your eyes to possible areas of error while in pursuit. The fact that you see your friend do it so easily and effortlessly does not mean it is that way, for the things which in most cases serve as the basis of a thing are often unseen. You never see the foundation of a well-built mansion, but the fact that you can’t see does not mean it does not exist.

As ladies, we have to be very careful the things we desire of our friends. Don’t get me wrong, like the man I started with said, it’s never a bad thing to see what our friends/people around us are doing and get encouraged to do either exactly the same, or greater; but we must never go into the pursuit of such thing with a blind eye. We must open our eyes with wisdom to see hidden errors that can happen along the line; especially such that could shock us that we never envisaged.

In essence and conclusively, always go into things (especially things you know nothing of its foundation) with an open mind to learn, and an open eye to see, not necessarily based on the experience of your friend you know nothing about its foundation. For all there is, the foundation of that thing you so desire might be laid with some kind of stone that is costly to you, but permissible/usual for your friend without your own knowledge.

In other words, even though you are encouraged by the things your friend seems to be doing, you have to be able to open your eyes wide in pursuing the same thing she has that you desire, so you do not get carried away by the ‘flood’ in the terrain which you can’t see from afar, as opposed to just the seeming beauty of it (which is all you see). 

Much love. 

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Help Lord! I Need An Upgrade!!! (2)

Two weeks ago, we started a talk about upgrades and all. This week, we will have the concluding part.

Going by the previous article, our need to upgrade per time was made obvious. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons why we sometimes appear all crammed up and confused is because we have a lot on our mind/head- things we need to let go in preparation for a better and brighter version of ourselves that in some ways we are still holding on to.

To provide answers to the question we closed with in the previous part, one of the ways I would say makes effective upgrade/growth possible is self-awareness. This is because a self-aware individual is always in touch with his/herself and as a matter of fact, knows when to change/move from one level to another. Such individual knows how to upgrade either based on need, personal observation, external corrections, knowledge gained and applied and the likes, because he/she is constantly in touch with his/her being.

Asides self-awareness which in my opinion is vital, one other efficient way I would say makes upgrade possible is spending time in the Presence of the One who made us- God. Why? Because He made us and as a result, knows the areas where we are deficient and at that, needs upgrade per time. As our bona fide Maker, He knows exactly the buttons to touch and what to pull to make us have access to needed upgrades per time. 

God’s Presence with regards to our upgrade can be likened to the presence of Wi-Fi in our locations. For the software on our phones to get updated per time, it has to be close to an internet connection- say a Wi-Fi. Proximity to a Wi-Fi source makes the update possible, and most times when our software gets upgraded, our phones in most cases performs better. The same can be said of us. To grow as a human (a product made by God), we must stay close to Him per time. What happens when our phone becomes too full to accommodate an upgrade despite the availability of a Wi-Fi? Does the upgrade go through still? I’m afraid no.

To get ourselves automatically upgraded in the presence of our Maker, what are the things we must do? We must acknowledge Him by reading/spending adequate time with His Word- The Holy Book (which happens to be our operating manual as human beings), and also by soaking ourselves in an atmosphere of (Spirit and truth) worship, as well as daily communing with Him through the habit of prayer. When we do all these constantly, our souls gets updated (renewed) per time and becoming a better human becomes inevitable. 

When we get better per time in our being, we increase our capacity to love and to be loved. Our kindness level shoots up, and so does our compassion level. We grow by developing the fruits of the Spirit, against which the Bible says there is no law (see Galatians 5:22-23). Growth in the spirit in addition to constant learning and experience would sure not leave us in a redundant place.

In the process of us being upgraded as well, our struggles fall off. Issues such as anger, childishness, erratic behavior, malice and all becomes a thing of the past. Through the upgrade and the fall offs, we are made to serve the world better, especially our spouses and neighbours, knowing fully well that a healthy marriage/life is all about service- service to one another in love. In all, having an upgrade per time prevents us from being easily overwhelmed by circumstances, events and happenings.

Till I come your way again, I do hope you have a nice day even as we all grow in the love, knowledge and truth of God and our lives like Proverbs 4:18 begins to glow, and glow, unto the perfect day. *hugs*

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The Story Behind The Book- My Grandma’s Story, And The Lessons Learnt

You never know how much wealth you have until you are either in trouble or right in the midst of a notable achievement and the people around you stand up for you. I almost have never been overwhelmed all my life like this season I’m in. I’m awed by the support of loved ones and friends with regards to the above book just released. The support in diverse ways are overwhelming. I feel the love of family, the love of friends in every way, and now- the support of you my readers on the blog. As a result, I have decided to share the journey to the book to encourage us all in our journey through life and destiny.

I never knew I would write a book for children. Yes, I’ve been so concerned about the minds of children- what goes into their mind especially in an age like this where education, and to an extent moral, is gradually being replaced by entertainment and likeability as opposed to appropriate discipline and training. But then, some weeks ago, an opportunity came up and in the space of one month or perhaps less, ‘my grandma’s story’ was birthed.

The birth/release of this book has taught me quite a number of things about life, as well as reinforced some things I know. I have come to discover more than ever that flexibility is key in life. Like I said on the radio interview I went for yesterday (thanks to Melony show WFM 91.7, Lagos Nigeria), flexibility will make one succeed greatly in life. All I had in mind was a book for women which was almost ready for print, but then, somewhere along the line, the children book came up and through Grace and yieldedness, the book became a reality.

A chunk of the story (my grandma’s story) was written last year April- a period where I was fresh out of corporate employment. I never knew the story would translate into what it is today. I had written it for a different purpose, but as God would have it, a year after, a greater purpose was unveiled.

Based on the pressure and trial that produced the book, as strange as it sounds, I would like to admonish us all to give up our personal dreams and take on God’s own dream and vision for our lives. Like I was telling my friend after the show yesterday, I never knew I would be a children literature writer(!). I had plans that appeared far greater in mind, especially as a writer, but as God would have it, turns out His ways are higher than ours.

To someone reading (and myself as well over and over again), I would say be open and yielded to the things God has in store for you. Yes, I’m still struggling to accept the reality of this path I have found myself on, but I’m learning through Grace to lean back, work at it all I can and watch things unfold as God would have them. Life is never a straight line, it’s full of curves and bends that in the end lands us on unexpected but favourable ends like it sometimes happen in the game ‘snakes and ladder’, such that the ‘dice number’ we think has nothing for us ends up holding everything we need in the race to succeed. When we Surrender fully to His will, our true lives begin.

N.B: To get a copy of ‘My Grandma’s Story’ within Lagos Nigeria, kindly send a text to 08032320466 and details of how to get the book will be sent to you. Hardcover version of the book is available in Nigeria for a token of N2,000 with free delivery within Lagos. For readers outside Nigeria, the book is available on Amazon- in kindle and paperback form. Easter and children’s day is around the corner, would go a long way grabbing your copies for your children, nieces, nephews and other precious children around you. 

Much love.

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Help Lord! I Need An Upgrade!!!

Welcome to another episode of our learning and growing together.

Before I go into today’s topic, I must indeed appreciate everyone who shares articles posted on this forum, as well as comment either on the blog itself or on social media pages. It's such a huge pleasure to see the articles bless us all (myself inclusive), as well as see comments that further drives home the message contained in each article in different forms, such that benefits not only the reader, but also the writer as no one has the monopoly of knowledge. 

In today’s article, we are going to be exploring one likely reason why people do not easily associate freely with us.

Why the title of this article? It is because I have realized that over time, for a product to be effective through the ages, it must be updated per time. Give me an app or a product that has been in existence for so long without being updated and I will show you an app or product that is out of date. In essence, everything we use on earth sure needs an upgrade for it to be able to perform and meet the demand of the time for which it is expected to function in (especially without getting overwhelmed).

So my question is- if every app and product needs upgrade per time, how about human beings? Should we as human beings continue in our old known way and expect a ‘user friendly’ outcome? I guess no. Imagine if you had a cousin and the same way she’s been acting since she was 12 is still the same way she is acting now, how would it feel? Awkward right? I’m sure the revelation too would be a burden to her parents if it happens to be so. So, if it does not appear permissible for your cousin to be the same through the ages, do you think it would be permissible for you as well? If your answer is no, how then do we upgrade as human beings? 

One natural and unarguable way we upgrade is through age. Age makes some behaviours inappropriate for us, just like the cloths we wear at some times becomes inappropriate due to either age itself, or our growth rate (in other words- our height). In addition to age, I would say experience upgrades us too in some ways. It opens us up to the realities of the world we live in and then expand our minds to make room for such realities.

Aside age and experience, what else can be said to ‘update’ humans? Did I hear you say reading and learning? Yes you’re right- reading and learning. Reading makes us more aware and learning adds experience to us. We can also grow by observation. Observing people’s experiences and learning one or two things from it.

But then away from age, experience, reading, studying and general observation, what else can be said to grow us?

We’ll continue from here next week Wednesday. Much love peeps. *hugs*

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