Dear Teenage Me (2)

The last time we spoke, I talked to the little you- it was a really fun talk, as well as a humbling one. Today, I’ll take a visit to the teenage you, based on some things I know now. In as much as there are many things to say (about aunties, uncles, neighbours and friends), like we did during our last talk; today, I will talk  about something quite intimate and personal: beauty- your own beauty. Shall we?

First and foremost, what does beauty mean to you? oh wow, I see you trying to wipe your tears, you don’t know what beauty is. Your idea of beauty is that Papa tells you; when he tells you your ears are too big (just like your mother, he would add, so as not to feel harsh, even though him and momma divorced years ago and what they have for themselves is nothing but hatred). He would tell you too, that you are too black and that you are too thin. And because that was all you ever heard, to have the opposite of what he abused you for was your idea of beauty. So, you think you are not good enough, not to talk of being beautiful enough.

Remember too? Back when you were much younger, when you just changed your school and you were in Primary 4- how those new class mates of yours would tease you about your legs being long and bonny. I guess they also said you have a k-leg, right? So if the ears are gone, the skin is gone and as well the legs, what remains? What is left to make a beautiful body? And oh, remember uncle Tom? Daddy’s youngest brother who used to take you to school and take care of you then? Remember the things he did to you then? How he laid on you and did so many shocking things with you, asking you not to tell a soul? And so, what’s there to love about you, you’ve always asked yourself. Well, I will tell you something; it’s quite long, but then, if daddy does not call me in the next five minutes to welcome his younger sister- aunty Bola who just returned from England, then I will tell you everything.

First and foremost, you know that idea about beauty? That we are all meant to be a certain way? And that if you are not tall and fair you are not beautiful? It’s a lie. Guess my shock when I discovered it. I realized that the idea of saying we all should be the same even though we come from different family trees, is a big illusion. For how would you expect someone with short and sturdy parents to suddenly be tall and slender? How would you expect a parent who had had no history of fairness in their lineage to suddenly give birth to someone fair? Yes, for some reasons, these things can happen- when a baby comes to the world with a mind and skin of its own (as grandma would say when talking to Timileyin your younger brother who she just doesn’t understand).

So, back to my discovery. You remember catfish, right? it’s like saying a catfish and another fish specie coming together should give birth to a dog(!) Would that be possible? Yeah, in as much as they would give birth to a fish, it would be an entirely different kind of fish. Such are humans when we come together to have our child(ren). Of course, we would produce a human being, but the difference of our individual nature and specie would make us give birth to someone different- someone the world would never see again in form and nature. That means- as humans, we come once in a life time. We are actually not limited editions, we are masterpieces!- A glimpse of inspiration that flashes across once, in a specific form that would never again form again in another human specie (except for a doppelganger effect, which we both know does not exist. They were myths told and passed down to generations).

I wish I can tell you much more about beauty, but then I can hear aunty Bola’s voice at the background; daddy will soon call me, so let me just rush to tell you this before I go. Oh, something just came to my mind now! I will use it to explain better what I said the other time; Let me quickly rush through!

You remember Leonardo da Vinci?- Dad’s favourite artist of all time that he would always talk about? Remember the many masterpieces he produced as an artist? The same artist, different masterpieces? It is exactly what happens when humans produce. And it is one reason same parents can give birth to different individuals.

 You are a masterpiece. Your legs, the ear and all the things you have that daddy/others always mocked you for? Those are exactly the things that makes you you! Imagine if one day you walked into the living room with much smaller ears, a very fair skin, fat legs and all; would daddy still recognize you? I bet no, because the Febisola he knows is one that is exactly like you- slim, tall, lovely dark skin, lovely ears (even though he calls them big, who else in the world has them exactly like yours?) and all. Even he would disown you if you happen to walk into his house like that, at least for a minute, because you are no longer the idea of Febisola that comes to his mind when he imagines you.

All that said, who you are is unique. You are a walking breathing masterpiece. Once you are gone (in your old ripe age I pray), nobody else would be exactly like you. People might try to copy you, but none would be you exactly. Or have you seen another Michael Jackson? Another Frank Sinatra, or Maya Angelou? No, because they are gone and gone for life. That exact face of them cannot be naturally achieved, because we humans comes once in a lifetime, as a masterpiece of creation. So, relax babe, you are beautiful, just the way you are. Smile, because no one else is, and can be like you.

Daddy just called me now. I will come back to you later. When I come, I will talk to you about what is called self-awareness, and why you should have it, especially as the teenager you are. I will also talk to you about what uncle Tom did to you, and why you should not allow it define you anymore even though you’ve carried the memories and secret pain for years.

I love you my baby. Never give up on us, at least for me and you, because the you you become today, would affect the me I would become tomorrow. Trends and patterns it is called.

Article though written by blogger first appeared in Bella Naija - 23/03/2020

Photo Credit: WordPress

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