An Interview With Preacher, Author and Speaker: Dr Samuel Ekundayo- A Straight From The Heart Talk About Purpose And Marriage

Happy new month people, welcome to the month of May. May this month bring great tidings to us all in Jesus name.

Today on the blog, I have a good news. I will be sharing a full and insightful interview had with the very Dr Samuel Ekundayo. Dr Samuel Ekundayo is an Author, Speaker, Preacher and a prolific Thought Leader. With a Ph.D. in Business Information Systems, he lectures full time in one of New Zealand's higher institutions as an IT lecturer. As a purpose teacher, he holds series of seminars and trainings, one of which is the famous few minutes ‘motivitality’ series frequently posted on his social media handles.

Why am I excited about him being on the blog? I am excited because his words aside from being full of wisdom and reality, contains insights for humans in literally every phase of life: Insights for teenagers, singles, married, parents and most importantly, his words addresses the sole reason why we are here on earth- purpose.

Without further ado, kindly sit back and relax as I bring to you- the wisdom packed interview had in the course of the previous month with Dr. Samuel Ekundayo. Enjoy.

SWB: A very good morning to you. It’s such a great privilege and honor to have you here.

DSE: The pleasure is mine and thank you so much for the privilege of featuring on your blog. 

SWB: Can our readers meet you please?

DSE: My name is Dr Samuel Ekundayo, popular called “The Purpose Preacher”. I am an author, preacher, thought leader and motivational speaker. The Mandate of God on my life is to help people discover God’s purpose for their lives so they can maximize their potentials on earth and be who they were born to be. I am also a full time academic and researcher.

SWB: How was growing up like for you?

DSE: Growing up was not easy but God was good to us. My parents could not afford most things but miraculously, at every point of need, God would show up for us. I remember there was a time things were really difficult for my family and my parents had to resolve to farming in order for us to survive. I am not talking about mechanized farming here. I mean the typical petty farming to eat daily. Life was tough and challenging but that was only a season. God brought us through all that.

SWB: At what point did you know what/who you wanted to do/be in life?

I believe that was at the age of 14. I just knew I enjoyed speaking and preaching and would always teach my mates in class. 

SWB: What triggered your dream? 

DSE: At that age, I started to discover my love for teaching so I decided I was going to become a professor. Since then I would call myself Le Dynamique Professeur (The Dynamic Professor) or “Professor Smart” and my friends would call me that too. Some of my friends still call me that till date.

Moreover, thank God for godly parents, since I was young, every day, my parents would play the VHS of ministers of God like Reinhard Bonnke, R W Schambach, Billy Graham, etc. They soon became my favourite thing to watch. Also, my Dad got me books like “I saw Heaven” by Roberts Liardon when I was 8. He really wanted me to see heaven too, like Robert. I didn’t see heaven but I met Jesus as that was the same year I gave my life to Christ – November 30, 1993.

SWB: What were the things you wished you knew earlier about life, and what advice would you give to the upcoming generation?

DSE: I was blessed to know quite early what I wanted out of life and where I was going. However, at the time, I was not aware of the principles and values to get me there. I was just hoping for miracles instead of learning principles. See, the way God designed life, principles are what sustains miracles. If you don’t learn the principles required for your life, miracles would soon cease and you would be left wandering – just as Manna ceased in the wilderness. I was blessed to have loads of miracles help me through but as things got tougher, I knew I needed to get tough too. I needed to learn the principles to sustain the miracles in my life in order to get to where God’s taking me.

SWB: I read in your bio how a stranger from literally nowhere paid for your school fees. What effect did that have on you? And what can you tell readers out there full of dream but stuck on funds?

DSE: ARGH! If you get me started on this one, I tell you, we would not leave here. So, let me try my best to keep it short. The Bible says the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Every time in the scriptures, God is fond us showing the destination to His people and not really showing the how they will get there because He reveals every step in the journey as we honour and please Him by trusting Him and obeying Him. 

On the journey to where I am today, one thing I have learned is, don’t wait for provision before embarking on your vision! If I was talking, I would have said that again to re-emphasize the point! Don’t let the lack of the provision you can’t see hinder the vision you can see. When you are sure you are headed in the right direction, when it appears you don’t have the resources, just trust God and keep moving. 

That’s the story of my life. Not once, not twice, God has used strangers to pay for my school fees. I am not talking about $1000 here. I mean someone writing a cheque of $15,000 at once! Not a loan! That day, in our house we were so in awe of God, we were all just rolling on the floor. It was at the brink of my dreams dying – the school was about to dismiss me and immigration were about to ask me to leave the country and God showed up. 

Hello there, are you reading this and you have a vision but you don’t have provision yet, two words – “KEEP MOVING”! Don’t let that stop you. I better stop here. I can preach a whole series on this topic because I have seen God at work personally on it.

SWB: What has been the greatest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far?

DSE: There has been several obstacles in my life and all of them had taught me big things and deepened my knowledge of God and my relationship with Him. However, I think one really stood out and it was when I was some months into my PhD programme and the supervisors I had then started to doubt my ability to complete the PhD. In fact, they literally recommended that I be terminated from the course and that actually happened but God made a way because He is the way! Story for another day. 

SWB: There are certain days in human history that marks turn around in some ways, or perhaps some days something dawns on us more clearly due to an experience or a word heard- what is (are) the day(s) you will never forget and why?

A day I will never forget in my life was the day I first of all set my eyes on my wife (then, girlfriend). We met online in 2007 and started dating officially in 2008 but didn’t get to see each other until 2010 because we could not afford it. I was living in New Zealand and she was in Nigeria. Things were tough and tight then. It looked like an impossible relationship but God turned things around for us. Today, we’re married, living together in harmony with two wonderful boys. Ours is a story of God’s mercy.

SWB: What always reminds you of God’s Faithfulness and gives you the zeal to go on even in the midst of contradictory situations?

This question can start another sermon series oh. But I believe it’s looking back at how every time I struggled to pay my many school fees for my various degrees and God would just show up. I remember in my final year of PhD, I could not afford my fees; my parents could not help either. It was like my dream was going to crash. All of a sudden, my supervisor decided to make an exceptional case for me with the Faculty board of the school and a scholarship that was never on offer was granted to me. I just got to my office one morning to find an email in my inbox saying “Congratulations you have been awarded a scholarship…” This God is a faithful God.

SWB: What advice would you give someone trying to hold on in the midst of chaos all around? Would you like to use any personal story to encourage such person?

DSE: I believe I have shared so many personal stories already. To that person, hang in there. Whatever trials and tribulations you are facing now is only a season. One scripture in the Bible I love so much is 2 Corinthians 4:17 - For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory”. What you are going through cannot be compared to             where you are going to. Hang in there. God is working things out for you. Your darkest hour is the      start of the dawn of a new day for you.

SWB: What’s your take on mentorship?

DSE: My definition? I believe everyone should have at least a mentor – people you look up to, learn from and are accountable to. I have a few mentors in my life and they’re massively instrumental to where I am today by the grace of God.

SWB: How does who we are affect who we become at the end of the day?

DSE: The concept of identity is a very important one because without any idea of who you are, you are likely to lose the notion of God’s purpose for you. But when your identity is clear in God, you realise you were made for His purpose. Thus, you acknowledge Him in your life and everything you do and become gives glory to His name.

SWB: Greatness involves learning and unlearning things, what were the things you had to unlearn in the course of your journey, and also the things you had to learn? 

DSE:  Wow! Your questions are so deep, they are making me dig deep. One thing I had to unlearn late in my teenage years is becoming me! I had watched several men of God and people that

I was always wanting to become like someone. At first, I wanted to be like my Dad and then, I wanted to be Reinhard Bonnke and several other people like that until God opened my eyes to who He has called me to be and I began to see the authenticity of my identity and purpose in God. That changed my life!

SWB: Many people reading this may have been wondering- how do I discover purpose, what would you tell such people?

DSE: I have read tonnes of books on purpose and several advice exist on this subject but really, the surest way to finding your purpose without any trial and error is to go to God in prayer and ask Him to reveal to you why He created you. Purpose is the intent in the heart and mind of the creator of a thing. This means, the author of purpose is the creator. Only God can truly reveal His purpose for our lives to us. 

Having said that, practically, there are some things that are cues to our purpose and those things are our gifts and passion. According to Ephesians 4:7, all of us have been designed with a special gift. If we locate this gift, we would function at an extraordinary and supernatural capacity that will not only shock us but people around us and the entire world. You will discover this particular gift comes with an endless passion that gives you energy and sets you apart. It is important to stress here that, it is not everything you are passionate about or have passion for that is in line with your purpose. If you doubt me, go and watch American Idol and see many people carry the microphone to sing and you wonder how they got there. LOL

SWB: I was reading a book by Joyce Meyer some few days ago and she said at some points in her life, she thought she had no talent as she couldn’t sing, couldn’t sow, tend a garden or do anything that was considered a talent…. until she discovered that she has a mouth! I am a firm believer of God giving everyone at least a talent, but then, some talents are more obvious to the eyes and easy to discover than others, what would you tell people who think they have no talent, but seek purpose?

DSE: As I said earlier, every one of us have been given a special gift. The fact that you think you don’t have anything special does not mean you are right. In fact, I know you are wrong! There is something about you. On a practical level, I have created a purpose worksheet for people with this sort of belief. So, if you are reading this and you are interested, reach out to me and I will email you a copy.

SWB: Now moving on to marriage- You are married to -a treasure-  as you fondly call her, what has it been like doing life with her?

DSE: I actually call her my Treasure and Dudushewa. Doing life with her has been nothing short of amazing. I am not saying we do not have our struggle days; we do but overall, our alignment in terms of God’s purpose for our lives, principles, values and love for God trumps all those. 

I can confidently say I am glad I married her. She plays a huge role in shaping me to become the masterpiece God has in mind for me.

SWB: How has marrying your wife assisted you in the process of destiny? What advice would you give to a man full of dreams contemplating marriage about choosing a spouse?

DSE: It is one thing to marry a child of God, it is another thing to marry a purposeful and purpose-driven child of God. I believe one of the things I enjoy is that I married a woman that is purpose driven. It helps my ministry and my life and not just mine, hers too. We grow each other. We push each other to become the best version of ourselves.

So my advice to anyone reading this is make sure the person you intend marrying is going in the same direction as you. Don’t be carried away by chemistry and biology. Make sure your purpose aligns – it makes for a beautiful and glorious home.

SWB: Were there any myths you went into marriage with? If yes, how did marriage straighten you up by presenting you with actual reality?

DSE: HAHAHA. Daddy in the parlour watching film, Mummy in the kitchen cooking rice. I thank God for my parents and the way they brought me up to be very useful in the kitchen and to love cleaning. I discovered in marriage (especially away from home – Nigeria), Daddy cannot always be in the parlour watching film o. Daddy should be able to clean, do dishes and cook very well. Lol. Reality is, I do that so well more than I thought I’d be doing lol. Don’t ask how much o…

SWB: What place does marriage play in our destinies? How serious should we take marriage when considering marriage, especially as someone with a calling on his/her life?

DSE: As I have explained earlier, marriage can make or mar your destiny. Some people think marriage is just for procreation; it is actually the life that culminates life itself. If you miss it in marriage, the scar may never heal and if it does, it remains visible. If you have a calling of God on your life, as a man, the woman to marry must understand that calling and know her role as helpmeet for the calling. As a woman, the man’s vision must align with where God is taking you, otherwise you will be on your own! Amos 3:3 comes to mind, “can two walk together except they be agreed?” Notice agreed is past tense? It’s talking about destinies and purpose alignment. It is not just agreement by mouth.

SWB: Moving on to parenting- you are a father to two lovely boys, how would you advise parents to raise their children? - Especially in such a way that helps them discover purpose early in life?

DSE: Raising children intentionally and consciously is still something I am learning as well. Looking at them as mighty men of valour (I say this because I only have boys). Watching to see the special and unique gifts God has given them and spotting them early in order to help them nurture it. There are somethings we have noticed in our kids and we have made some investments in that direction to help them develop in that area. 

Also, special attention must be given to helping the child know who God is. That helps their self-esteem too and their confidence. 

SWB: What should parents pay attention to in raising their children?

DSE: I think I have answered that earlier.

SWB: What is the role of relationships in destiny?

DSE: Relationships and destiny are so intertwined that they are inseparable. Every man or woman in the scripture had one person at least that was their helper of destiny (e.g. Joseph, David) or someone that had to be cut out of their lives in order for them to reach their destinies (e.g. Abraham). Or people who relationships actually destroyed their lives (e.g. Samson, Demas). 

There is a prayer my parents taught me to pray and it is that “Lord, connect me with helpers of my destiny”. Powerful and profound prayer.

SWB: All said, life is about finding and creating a balance in everything we do, how do you unwind?

DSE: I play soccer a lot! I also read books (does this count as unwinding?). I play video games sometimes. I play the keyboard and love to sing. I fancy a good game of monopoly. I also love all things graphics from playing with Photoshop and doing some website coding here and there. I love me some photography and videography too. Let’s stop here before I start to look some kind of way hahaa. 

SWB: What’s your favorite verse of the Bible?

Psalms 16:8 – Since age 8!

SWB: What is your favourite book?

DSE: 1 Samuel – because my favourite character in the Bible is David!

SWB: You are a pastor, a lecturer, a writer, as well as a speaker, how do you balance all you do with being a husband and a father? 

DSE: Sincerely, this is an art o. It’s not easy but I manage. I have had to read about how to do this well and I think some of the things I am finding out helps. I guess in a nutshell, one has to be conscious and intentional about these various roles and plan ones time very well to ensure none of them suffers and one still excels in the end. Nonetheless, focus is key! In each of these roles, I have learned to focus on what is most important.

SWB: What would be your advice for singles- men and women alike- waiting for their life partners?

DSE: Don’t rush! Don’t fear. Let God guide you. Forget the hourglass shape or the tall, dark and handsome, choose a man or woman who genuinely loves God and understand God’s calling on his or her life first over other qualities.

SWB: What would you advise as the signs to watch out for in your partner as a single considering marriage?

DSE: Accountability to God and to people. If the person is not accountable to God, this is a No-No! If they have no relationship with God, don’t even go there. They will lead you astray. 

Also, if they have no one in their lives who can call them to order or someone they ‘fear’ or listen to, don’t even have coffee with them talk less of going on a date. They will never respect you, your parents and your entire family put together. 

Watch out for how they love and serve others! Anyone that does not genuinely love and serve others, will never genuinely love and serve you. 

SWB: Your foremost slogan is – live fully and die empty, how do we do that as humans?

DSE: Chai! I feel like you have done a thorough investigation into my life haha. I got that slogan from the late Dr Myles Munroe and I don’t stop saying it because it resonates with the mandate of God on my life and my personal resolution for my life. 

To live fully and die empty is to deliberately and intentionally making an impact in people lives daily with the gifts and talents God has given you. This brings fulfillment, individual significance, influence and most importantly, glory to God.

SWB: Before we go, If there was one word you would use to describe marriage, and another you would use to describe life, what would those two words be?

DSE: Marriage – Lifelong

          Life – Purpose

SWB: Any last word you would like to give?

DSE: What is a life without purpose? Nothing! Being alive without any idea why is living a meaningless life. Find why you were born and created today. Life is too short to live every day like a headless chicken, just running up and down with no clear direction. To find your purpose, you must connect to your maker. Only He knows why He created you. If you have no relationship with God or have fallen off the radar with Him, this is your opportunity to get back to Him. Accept Jesus into your life today.

SWB: Thank you so much for your time; it’s been a great joy having you here on this blog.

DSE: Thanks for having me. It’s such joy to be here too. I must say you drilled me oh!
SWB: Ha ha ha. But then, your answers too are take homes I would think about for a long time! So, tit for tat I guess...lol. Thank you once again for being here.

Dr Samuel Ekundayo can be reached on the following social handles

Facebook: Samuel Ekundayo (The Purpose Preacher)
Twitter: DrSamEkundayo
Instagram: DrSamEkundayo

Skype: dynamiqueprofesseur

Website: SamuelEkundayo.com

Loneliness, Singleness, Happiness and And Marriage (Part 2)

Hey peeps! How has your week been?

In the last article, we started a conversation on loneliness, singleness, happiness and marriage. Here is the concluding part:

For the question raised last week regarding loneliness, I have this to say-

If you find yourself constantly lonely and depressed as a single person, you might want to pay attention to the things you focus on because our happiness or lack of it is a function of our focus. You might also want to pay more attention to your environment- are you surrounded by married people, especially those that seems to have it all together on the outside? Or perhaps you are welcoming words from every direction which as a result is producing a lot of pressure on the inside of you- words from mummy, daddy, sisters, all asking as though you have a control over it- “when are we eating the rice?”. You might also want to pay attention to the music you listen to, the people you let into your space (especially if they are negative and pessimistic people) and a whole lot of other things.

You might also want to get busy doing the things you love so it would shift your mind away from the seemingly missing links in your life. Surround yourself with people you know without a shadow of doubt loves you, and people and situations that makes you happy too. You might also want to spend more time with time with God because in His presence, there is fullness of Joy and at His right hand, there are pleasures evermore (Psalms 16:11). When you do, the joy of the Lord would become your strength and help you per time through the waiting period.

Regarding Happiness, this would be my advice:

As a single person, before you get married, make sure you find happiness from the core of you, the truth being that no man no matter who he is, is strong and self-happy enough to give you all the happiness you require in life. If already married and you find yourself constantly unhappy, it is never too late to set your feet on a path of happiness.  How do you find happiness?

Two major things I have realized brings about true happiness - purpose and wholeness. When your feet are set firmly on the path of purpose, you would have little time to be sad. Doesn’t mean that those moments that makes us all human would not come; they’ll come, only they would not last for a long period of time owing to your passion and your ultimate reliance on God through the process.

Passion coupled with the constant presence of God in our lives generates so much force; such force that overwhelms us and keeps us busy and productive majority of the time. In other words, the combination of these two factors (God and passion) drives us towards our goals despite obstacles and challenges (loneliness inclusive) encountered on the way. A God-filled busy and productive mind is no hiding place for the devil, but an idle mind is. As a result, it is advisable to get yourself duly engaged with passionate and worthwhile projects. As you work through the projects, make sure you celebrate your small wins along the way as they boost happiness, and as a matter of fact- confidence.

The second pathway to happiness is wholeness. Wholeness is the process of freeing yourself of wrong ideas and beliefs to enable you function fully, freely and without fear in the area God has called you. Wholeness is the ability to be yourself without any form of fear (especially fear of rejection), and without any form of pressure.

Lasting and true wholeness I’ll say is achieved majorly in three ways

·         Spending time with God

·         Spending ample time with yourself

·    And lastly- acquiring information through constant reading and listening to helpful audios/videos. Hopefully over time, we shall get to talk about wholeness, how to achieve it, and the benefits of having it.

In addition to purpose and wholeness, I would love to chip in this- spend time with your girlfriends, call them, go on outings with them as marriage does not equate prison. Go shopping (either window shopping or actual shopping- if you have the sufficient means and you actually need the things you intend buying) if it would make you happy. Be helpful to people who are in need. More importantly, make kindness a genuine part of you and try your possible best to be cheerful and friendly.

Above all, remember that your marriage would always be a reflection of your state of wholeness as a spouse. A happy spouse would most likely make a happy marriage and vice versa. Always choose to remember that your happiness starts from you and not necessarily what people do/can do for you. Married or single, choose to be the master of your own happiness.

 

.…Till we meet again- do enjoy the remaining days of your week and make sure you do something tangible to make yourself happy this week if you haven’t already.

P.S: If there is any topic you would like me to talk about, I’ll be glad to receive your email, or you could perhaps put it in the comment section below.

Photo Credit: DeviantArt

Loneliness, Singleness, Happiness And Marriage (Part 1).

Loneliness, singleness, happiness, marriage- these four words in one has been the downfall of many. Downfall in the sense that when they were single, they saw themselves as lonely and so sought after marriage every way they could; now married, they realize that marriage in itself is never the cure to loneliness.

I once mentioned in one of my posts on this blog that as a teenager, I’d always thought marriage would make you happy because of the stories I’d read about love and how the men keep doing things to make their women happy. Thank God I came across a book written by Funmi Akingbade and I read it before I had the chance of locking myself in a marriage I shouldn’t have been because I thought it would give me happiness.

What if I never came across that book, or any other book that would have given me a similar insight? I’m very sure I would have been married by now and seriously regretting it, because I would have gotten married for all the wrong reasons.

We mistake marriage solely for happiness because often times, we are blinded by the acts that leads to it. We are blinded by the people we see buy gifts for their women, take their women to the movies, massage their head and shoulders and the likes. All these and many more are not bad in themselves. They are a part of the ingredients marriage is made up of, but unfortunately not all marriage is all about. We often are not exposed to the other sides of marriage such as the responsibilities it brings and the maturity it requires, as a result, we go into it unprepared. All we see are the fairy tale aspects of marriage that makes us believe the ‘and they lived happily ever after’ farce.  Owing to the things we see, we long for marriage based on these facts which actually are true, but not all there is about marriage. We set a standard based on peripheral things, and not real/actual things. As a result, when a guy comes and makes us feel in the mushy-giddy way we have imagined, we jump into his arms without a second thought thinking that is all there would be to marriage until reality begins to set in.  

We begin to see that sometimes we are left alone as well, and marriage does not necessarily mean company every time. Then we go back to our single state- being lonely. Things takes a worse turn when we discover that the man travels a lot, or that he comes back home late and we are often the only one left at home till he comes. It becomes more apparent when we realize that there are no more flat mates to go to to hear the gist of the day, or probably school mates to go to school together once it is morning. As a matter of fact, we are now completely on our own; possibly more than ever.

So if loneliness happens to both single and married, what do we do to avoid/deal with it? And what do we do to attract happiness in contrast to our thought that marriage automatically equates happiness?

 ....To be continued....

Now That You Are Grown

It’s been a long long while; almost a year. Don’t know if to say happy new year, or happy new month, perhaps happy new week, or most recently- Happy new day *smiles*. Either way, I hope you do forgive me for being away for that long, God willing, I hope to get better at posting this season; far better than before.

While away for that long, more than ever, I have come to realize a couple of things – things about life, myself, my past, present and future that over time God willing, I would be putting up on the blog as lessons and learning points. But before then, let me welcome us all (you and I, because we have been so far away from each other- thanks to the ‘sleeping pill’ I swallowed for almost a year; the last time I posted being 31^st of August 2017) with a post I posted on Instagram and a great mentor of mine prompted me to share. Here:

“No doubt sometimes as a child growing up, we experience the stifling of our hearts, minds and arts, and sadly those memories hunt us for a long time, making us feel odd sometimes and act in awkward ways in the crowd.

But then, growing up, I realized 2 things

1. What you went through as a child to an extent was never about you, but your parents/guardians trying to keep their sanity. They shouted at you not because you were wrong for singing happily and dancing happily, but because they were tired and needed rest and shouting on you was the only way they could stop you.  It had nothing to do with your brilliance.
2. A mother eagle gives birth, causes the eaglet to fly the way it understands, then with time, leaves it to soar. The eaglet refusing to soar is not the mother's fault- but the eaglet now turned eagle's mental state. In as much as the eaglet might not have been thought how to soar in the way it would have loved, the subtle truth is that the eaglet is now grown and can choose and learn its own way of flight and as a result, unlearn how it was taught that it hated/hinders its now found way of flight.

As an adult, choose to be free. Reborn yourself in such a way that would free your true and real being. Do your best to erase thoughts pulling you down and give yourself permission to fly and soar like only you can.

*Note- I'm not trying to play down on childhood trauma, some people had it worse, I'm only saying we can rise above it if we choose to and the first step to rising is not only desiring it but actually pursuing it no matter how long it takes. Some wounds could be deep but time and knowledge heals all wounds. And if you want to cheat nature and heal faster, you can try healing up with Jesus- I promise you, it works.”


With time, we may dig more into these dynamics, as a part of the thoughts keeping me literally awake more than ever these days.  Before then, try to enjoy the weather and perhaps the personal season you are in all you can because seasons I promise you- are not always forever. I miss you all and it’s great to have you back. See you soon and much love.

Picture Credit: www.kath.ch

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (3)

Continuing from where we stopped the last time, here is something to think about:

Do you want God to surround you with nice people; especially people of the opposite sex who are married? If yes (but you are currently having affairs with them), why should He keep surrounding you with them when all you'll do is have affairs with them and derive your needs (emotional, financial, physical etc) from them as though they are your God?

The other side of the coin would be to ask yourself if you want to be surrounded by mean and insensitive men since all you do is sleep and entice the nice ones God has sent your way in some forms to make your walk in life more comfortable and easier. This I say not in a way to judge or condemn you, but to make you think quite deeper.

Till your prayers gets answered for a spouse (and even after), keep praying, keep waiting, keep working on you and be careful of the seeds you sow for your future bearing in mind that the law of sowing and reaping is real; just as it is real with planting and harvesting crops in the natural. Galatians 6:7. Be the kind of lady that other women’s husbands are safe with, just like you would love to have ladies around your future husband that he is safe with, and you can feel safe with too.

Conclusively, you might need to ask yourself some questions. Questions like how boring is my life? How lonely am I? How often do I need attention and how desperate am I for it? How often do I need someone to validate me and to what extent will I go to get it?

Finding answers to these questions will tell you what you need to fill your life so fun can be a part of your life (if it’s currently absent), because of a truth, loneliness and boredom as a single lady can expose you to such ideas. You can put your attention on doing the things you love, have friends you go out with per time or perhaps go out by yourself if you can and if it’ll ease the boredom and loneliness you feel in your life. Also, spoil yourself silly with the little you have, especially if gift as a lady is one of your love languages. Pay more attention to yourself care-wise if you have not been. Pamper yourself more and be more considerate, kind and compassionate towards yourself. Whatever rocks your boat and is legal and biblical- do it.

In all, try to know yourself. Knowing yourself will always give you a way out of every temptation, because you’ll know the ‘why’ of the feeling and also most likely- the things to do to get out of the situation. The truth is as humans, most of the time, we have an idea of what to do (or not to do) to get us out of temptations, but we fail to do them because the temptation in question is a bait and it comes interesting. After all, the devil will not tempt you with what you hate. Or will you as a human being try to bait a rat, even a fish, with a stone? No; you will give it what you know will catch its attention. Likewise the devil. Sometimes, temptations are pointers to things we need more strength in; either as a sign of weakness, a missing link or lack of balance in our lives.

Aside knowing yourself; know God and know His Word. Your love for Him, the knowledge and understanding of His Word you have will keep you going. The fact that you know His Word and you do not want to hurt Him would help in moments of weakness. Do all your best to know His will (promises inclusive) for your life and trust His timing. Knowing this will keep you strong and hopeful knowing fully well that a bright future awaits you.

Above all, never fail to remember that God is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that He should repent. He also rewards greatly those who wait for Him patiently and dutifully.

...Till I come your way again, keep loving yourself and keep saying no to the temptation to date married men no matter how much the idea appeals to you. Always remember it’s a bait that leads to death in some kind of ways.
Much love sis.

Photo Credit: PlayerFM

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation (2)

In the last article, we talked about checking deeply our hearts to know the probable and exact cause of our feelings since it is evident that every emotion has come to tell us something.

This we can start doing by paying attention to clues; especially those clues tending to draw us closer to him (married man in this case). For instance, you can take a clue of what you want or like in a man by taking note of the things you like in him. Could it be his dressing, composure, articulation, or what? You can take note and pray them into your future husband. Things you like about him should give you a prayer point for your future husband and things you perhaps do not like in him could also be a prayer point too for your future husband. Let seeing him make you more conscious of what is to come for you husband-wise, instead of immoral feelings and private unholy desires.

The truth is that you are going to meet (and work alongside) many married men during the course of your journey in life who will cut across what you want in men, or perhaps what you think you need at a particular moment; would you then date all of them per time? Can God trust you with what you want but isn’t yours? It can be worthy of note to know that growing up means trusting God’s will and timing; and growing up prevents us from being babies in nature. Only babies begin to cry when they see what they want and make sure they get it irrespective of the cost. You are no baby: you are a matured single lady dutifully and patiently waiting (on the Lord) for your worthy prince.

Besides, self-control starts now as a single lady, not necessarily as a married lady. Having a ring does not bring about a new you character wise, it's more of you carrying over the single you into the ‘married you’ phase. A ring does not change your personality, just your social status.

Let God trust you with things you desire, is around you but is not yours. The way you treat that which you desire but is not yours can either open or close doors for you to have yours. (after all he that is faithful in little will be faithful in much, the much being your future husband). Besides, no one is ever too young to start thinking of their tomorrow. If you sow this kind of seed today, should it germinate tomorrow, will you be happy with the end result?

Photo Credit: 1966mag.com

A lady like me: The masterpiece

You’ve never met

A lady like me.

You never should have.

It’s just me in the world

No one else like me

None else would be.

Yes, we all are clay

But when the Creator made me

He locked up

With an everlasting key and in a vault,

The rich remainder,

Of the clay

He used to mold me;

A vault,

Never again

To be opened in human history.

He made just me;

He made just me this way,

So-

You never should have

You never will

Meet a lady

Exactly like me.

I am His walking, living

And breathing

Masterpiece.

Single ladies: Dealing with the married man temptation

We all get tempted at certain points and phases in our lives; even with things we never knew could flash across our minds not to talk of making a home there. How then do we deal with situations when we are tempted?

The truth is we all must learn to pay attention to ourselves to know for sure what our emotion is trying to communicate to us. We shouldn’t be so over-spiritual and carried away. We all are flesh and blood and emotions are real. It’s however left for us if we are paying attention to the inner us to separate the feelings we have into good and bad so we can know the ones to hold on to, and those to trash without a second thought. When emotions (especially the not too good ones trouble our heart), we should always dig deeper to understand the real reason why they are hovering.

As for lusting after a married man, could it be that all the while you’ve not had a kind man around you, and suddenly now when you seem to have one, you’re all over the place wishing he could be yours? Instead of lusting after him and wishing he was all yours, let him be the sign that great and kind men still exist, and use him as a point of contact hope-wise to believe for yours. Or better still, you can pray for him daily. There is something about this kind of prayer that eliminates immoral thoughts. Before you know it, your heart begins to get drawn to his wife with compassion such that you wouldn’t want to hurt her in any way, and also his kids.

As a single lady, you have to be able to work hand in hand with men who are kind and nice (and are married) without wishing they were yours in any way. Appreciate them for the kind people they are and want nothing more than that, knowing fully well that you would become a wife someday and you wouldn’t want someone lusting after your husband, or worse still- pursuing his attention. Besides, not every kind man is meant to be your husband, just like you are not meant to be the wife of every man just because you are beautiful.

While it is true that some married men do not mind having an affair with single ladies, it behooves on us to discipline ourselves never to be a victim, because in the end, it’s a road that often leads to death in some kind of way (emotional death, spiritual death, moral death; even sometimes physical death).

No matter who you are, your belief and spiritual state, always remember that you are not a robot and you do have emotions like all human beings do. You will get tempted in some ways some day and when you do, especially if it’s with a kind, nice married man, do remember that yours is not different in any case as stated in James 1:12-18; and also, 1Corinthians 10:12. Also bear in mind Matthew 26:41 (MSG). Never wish any married man belongs to you no matter how kind and loving he is; he is someone else’ sole ‘property’.

Reference Scripture: 2Corinthians 10:5

Till I come your way again, much love.

Waiting: the time in between.

Many of us walk around complaining and wondering when exactly our time would come. We whine all through the seasons we find ourselves, especially the unpleasant ones. We seem to forget that not only does all things work together for good for them that love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28); but also the fact that nothing just happens.
Take for instance; Jesus our perfect example, He never started His earthly ministry until the age of 30: so what was He doing before then, especially from the age of twelve when we heard a bit about Him to the age of thirty where He began His public ministry? Your guess is as good as mine- He was preparing! Preparing for what? The great future He knew lied ahead of Him!

For some of us, instead of spending virtually all our time complaining bitterly about how we think God has forgotten us and His promised plan for our lives; it would be good to actually and literally get on our knees and seek His face. All the free time you have now that you are complaining about will soon be taken from you, so what would you say is your gain after the season is over?
Newsflash: We are never to leave any season in our lives (good or bad) the exact way we came into it; we are to leave better and stronger because that is what it has come to make us. Most people seem to be on the same level because they've failed to pass their exam: they keep writing the same thing despite failing over and over; they keep complaining and wasting the precious time they are given instead of being grateful, and focusing solely and fully on how the season would advance God's purpose for their lives through careful and diligent preparation.
Another newsflash: You will never get less busy in life. Except for times in between, every season will take you higher than you were the previous time. You're single now? Your marriage season (which usually lasts for a life time) will make you more busy. The more reason why you should maximize every free time and never let them go without making good use of them because sadly and most of the time- time lost hardly ever gets regained.

Remember the children of Israel? At a point in their journey, all they did was complain and murmur; an attitude which made them not only walk a journey of forty days for forty years, but also ended up killing the knowledgeable adults in their midst who should have known better because they saw the miracle of the Lord happen with their two eyes and they witnessed His Great Power and what it can do. In the times of seeming trouble, they refused to count on the faithfulness of the Lord to them in times past, and just like David, they literally failed to remember that the God that brought them out unhurt from the lions and the bears is also very much able and capable to keep them from getting killed by a godless giant.

What am I saying in essence? Maximize all the time you have in between seasons. God knows what He is doing and He has the bigger picture in mind (Jeremiah 29:11- MSG). He's quite aware of the fact that you are currently jobless because He wants you to use that time to grow in Him and in destiny. He knows you are single and He is counting on you to use that period to grow and work more on yourself. He knows where you are per stage and how you feel about your situation, but sometimes in life, it's not just about our feelings, but what we do with our feelings through it all. Jesus didn't want to go the cross, but He went anyway because it wasn't about His feelings and desires, but the purpose in which that season has come to accomplish.

I want you to know that God knows exactly where you are, and He knows exactly what He is doing with your life even when it seems all things are working against you. Maximize all the little time you have in between. As you wait for all God has in store for you, wait well and equipped. Wait prepared and without grumbling or complaining. Wait prepared and grateful knowing fully well that every time in between is a blessing in disguise: a season meant to usher you into a greater season.

The only way you can know what a season in your life has come to accomplish is to stay close to God- the controller of all seasons. Pay close attention to what He reveals and make conscious and diligent effort to work on the instructions given. More so, staying (very) close to God would ensure a joyful transition between the time you are in now, to the season you really want to be. The joy of the Lord serves as our strength. A sad person can do very little, if at all anything; but a joyful person can in fact do all things, because joy, especially heavenly joy produces (so much) strength in us! Nehemiah 8:10.

In your times in-between, choose to wait joyfully, expectantly and perhaps most of all- preparedly. And be rest assured that all (no matter what or how it looks like now) is for a greater good.
Romans 8:22-25(MSG).


Till I come your way again
Much love

Let’s talk about marriage!

One, two, three- go! So let’s talk about marriage! And while we talk, be slow to call me crazy. It’s just the way I see it, and I think it might help you get your pillow less soaked with tears. Shall we? It’s going to be some minutes of hard and frank talk. Grab your timer and- let’s go!

Why cry and weep about marriage? Is that the essence of who you are, or what totally you are called to do??? You are not your body no matter its tantrums and efforts to own you. You are a spirit trapped in a body- your body- with an assignment to do for a limited time. Your main goal is your mandate- the assignment you were given to do by God, and all other things are comforts/aids to help you in your assignment, including marriage.

To be married is to have the privilege of having an earthly member like you on the same ship with you- a companion that eases your tension, adds to you and helps you in your God-given mission; and vice versa. Marriage is more than sex: it is divine partnership for divine assignment.

You are no lesser because you are not married (yet). Clamoring strictly on marriage is you missing the reason for your existence. Don’t get me wrong- marriage is good, but it’s not all there is about you or your life. You are more than your desires and raging hormones. Which is not to say that sex is the only reason why we desire marriage.

My advice for singles waiting on God for marriage would be: Stay close and content with God. Ask and praise. Do your own part of preparation, and at the right time- just when the time is right, He will give you your partner- the partner He deems fit for the work He has called you to do. Marriage is the ‘yoking’ of two souls together for the sole purpose of destiny just as two oxen are equally yoked together to bring about effectiveness on farmlands. Marriage is having a lifelong, trustworthy partner that will be with you for a lifetime and help in the fulfillment of your dreams. Wait for God all the way all through your life’s journey and while you wait in every phase, make Matthew 6:33 your watchword.

And lastly: before you say yes, consider from deep within what the usefulness and the results of you two being together will be- the impact it will have on the quality of your lives, your generation, and the world at large.

Till I come your way again- Stay Blessed and thoughtful.

Eniola Olaosebikan.

Trapped

I'm trapped in you
For eternity?
Maybe not
But say eighty, a hundred years.

I asked for no body
But I was given you
With an assignment- a mandate
That'll last for less than a hundred years
But'll resound through eternity
Till a new earth beckons.

No one else could do it
So I was sent.

What can stop me?
The shape of your nose
Or the colour of your skin?
Your legs, or the way you walk?
The hairs on your head (which you're lucky to have)
Or the scars on your skin?
Your fat belly or your too small or too big buttocks?
Maybe not.
I do not belong to you forever.

I'm only trapped in you
For a little while.
You are a container
My spirit travels in
On the sojourn- this temporary abode called earth.

The end is
To pour out my all in bits: my content
Till all becomes empty
And I go hither
To where I came from
And to He
Who sent me.

The only bond I have
Is to take care of you;
Maintain you
Till the end comes.
You matter, but I-
The me within
Matters most.

You are a means
To my fruitful existence,
Just what I need
To execute my assignment
Till immortality calls
At the final close
Of my eyes.

I am trapped- in you
But unstoppable.

Soulmates: smiles and bores.

Will he cry
When he sees me;
With a deep bore
Devoid of expressions
When on the matrimonial bed
We lay
One warm morn
Face to face,
Twenty years later?

He'll have two eyes;
One that pierces deeply into my soul
Without a word
And another that rather gazes- lovingly
Without words still
Into my eyes.

Would he cry
When his soul I see
Without a word
But he knows
I understand?:
Just when I see- so deep;
His fears and all
That makes him feel
Like a baby and vunerable
But love him anyway?
Far beyond his body?- however great it is.

Would he tell me
I am his mystery;
His soul mate, and soul fit?
Would he tell me
How glad he was he waited
And now has me?

Would he hold me close
Tell me no words still;
-Just his palm gently placed
On mine
When at the table we dine
Full of silence: only
Smiles and bores?

Would he?
'Cos I will.
Soulmates.

II

He is not deaf
He is not dumb
Neither am I.
We speak
We hear;
But more of the soul.
Soul to soul.

III

There is a stillness in our soul
That makes us hear the inaudible,
A light on our path- divine
That makes us see the invisible,
And a sight somewhere in us- bright
That makes us see each other
In words we can't explain.
We are soulmates;
More than mere partners and room mates.
Our souls hear;
Our souls sees;
Together, we see Him
Who for our sins bled and died.
A three fold cord
Who can break?

I am not the best

Good is okay.
I do not want
To be the best.
To be the best
Is to have one to compare to;
To be good-
Is just to be me.

I compete with no other
I compare with no other:
I stay on my lane
And on my own. I am
Good.

II
In God's Eyes
Are hidden
- a billion lights;
Lights that shines through
And sees clearly.
He needs not think twice
Nor tell a lie
About what He sees.

He saw me
And said
I was good.
He makes no mistake.

III
I compare with no one
I compete with no one
God says I am good:
I am good.

IV
I strive to be the best
Because I compare.
But now
Knowing who I am
And whose I am,
I compare no more
Because I know
I am good.

I am good:
He created me good-
That's all that matters.

V
God made two great lights:
The sun
And the moon
Yet,
Both were good.
None was better,
None was best.
Each had its unique purpose
No other can fill.

..God made me too
Amidst many other billions walking;
I am good,
They are good too.

A matter of worth

If I were not worthy
He would never have saved me.
If I were not worthy
He would never have heard any of my prayers
If I were not worthy
He would never have wasted His time
Giving me purpose and vision,
Grace for the journey,
And mercy for times of err.

If I were not worthy
He would never have wasted His effort,
Nor Blood on me;
He would have died for everyone else
But me,
And made it
Categorically known.

If I were never worthy
He would have left me
For the enemy to destroy;
After all, what would have been my use?

...But because I am worthy
He saved me
Gave me a new name,
Claimed, and calls me His own.

Because I am worthy,
He covers me daily and gently
In the warmth
Of His priceless love;
He guides me daily
In the light of His Word,
And hides me daily still-
In the beauty
And awesomeness
Of His Holy Presence
All because of who I am:

His treasure-
A treasure which
He made
Neither greater nor equal of-
A masterpiece.

...He made me
I am worthy.
...I am worthy
Because  He made me.

God makes no junk!

II

I was born-
I am worthy
I am still living,
I am worthy.
I am worthy
Because I have the breath of life-
His own very breath!

God makes
And sustains no junk!

III

Would you if you were God-
Give your attention and time to junk?
Devout yourself to sustaining
And keeping dearly
Something of no value,
Return or worth?
Every maker has intentions,
Intentions wrapped around worth and value
No matter the purpose of the object made.

So, my friend-
Know that-

God makes no junk!
And you are no junk!
You are worthy, precious and priceless!

Ignore the critical voice in your head
The comments,
Opinions,
And perception of people about you.
-You are worthy
Because God made you;

God made you
And He makes no junk!

My New Year gift to you.

 A brand new year. Happy new year everyone.

 **********             ***********           **********             *********

Most people have had the life they’ll live this year planned last year, some had it planned  the very first day of this year, and some- are still waiting, hoping to find their way through step by step. Whichever the category you seem to belong to, I know one thing for sure that would lead to a greater and more prosperous life this year-  praying in tongues.

Someone I respect would always say – “when you pray in tongues, you download heavenly wisdom”- a truth I've come to agree with over and over. Essentially, wisdom is knowing what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Praying in tongues gives us that advantage. As established in Romans 8:26-27 when we pray, our spirits takes things to God and God in turn pours things into us, such that there comes a (sudden) knowing of what to do and how to go about it. When we pray in tongues, we align ourselves with what’s been written about us from the beginning of time. We align our will with God's and give Him the chance to not only breathe afresh into us, but to speak His present mind to us.

...Are you confused? Pray in tongues. Seeking the perfect will of God for this year? Pray in tongues. As you pray in tongues, some things would come into your mind. Take note. Could be Bible verses, ideas, steps or actions to take, whatever it may be- pay attention. Speaking in tongues gives us the direct access to the Spirit of God, and the ability to know His mind for us at different points in time; even future times.

No matter how concrete your plan for the year seems, pray in tongues still. You never lose when you pray in tongues. I’ve had a lot of future occurrences revealed to me while praying in tongues, and with this I can say- praying in tongues is sight- it gives us the ability to see into the otherwise invincible. Praying in tongues births hope in us and strengthens us for the journey ahead. I feel safe by knowing I’m in great Hands and under a protective, intimate and divine guidance when I pray in tongues.

Make it a habit to pray daily in tongues. Keep building up your most holy faith as admonished in the Bible. Jude 1:20.

This word I speak to you is my New Year’s gift to you. For most people, it might be time to take it higher while for others, it might be time to start afresh. No matter your category- Pray in tongues (still).

…Till I come your way again, much love and hugs.

A Poem- Thank You Lord

For the tears that flow easily
I thank You
For the Joy and Grace
To be me, with me
I thank You.

Thank You
For giving me
The arms to hold me
The eyes to see me
And the ears to listen to me.

Thank You Lord
For the heart to care about me-
The soul, deep enough, to love me...

For every Gift
You have given me, for me
I thank You.

Thank You Lord.

Copyright- SoulWriter 2015